Somehow, for all Claude's infinite wisdom, he hadn't actually expected Lorenz to break down like this, even though he'd known the other man was in a bad state. In retrospect, maybe that was uncharacteristically stupid of him. Whether or not it's accurate - Lorenz himself doesn't seem entirely sure anymore, and Claude is happy to cling to that scrap of hope rather than believe otherwise - Lorenz had thought he'd died. Alone, desperate and scared, full of regrets, trying to do what he believed was right all the way to the end but none of it going the way he wanted it to. Who wouldn't break down?
(Thinking of Lorenz dying with his regrets laying heavy on him...it makes him think of some of the more disturbing beliefs of Faerghus. And, for a moment, he almost thinks he sees a glimmer of sense in it. Not that preaching that kind of doctrine, thinking that the regretful dead are burning in a sort of hell until their regrets are resolved for them, is a good thing by any means, but...the way it makes him feel, he can see why those feeling the same might try to justify doing whatever they felt would help the dead rest easier. Less a service to the dead than a balm - and perhaps an excuse - for the grieving. Claude's never been a particularly vengeful or violent person, but...if Lorenz died like that, then Edelgard and Count Gloucester have something to personally answer to Claude for.)
Still...somehow, Claude hadn't seen this coming. Perhaps because he and Lorenz have rarely been this raw and vulnerable with each other - Lorenz rarely, Claude next to never. They're way off the map of their usual dynamic, and Claude isn't quite sure how to navigate it. It feels oddly harder than the emotional intimacy that he's developed with the Blue Lions here, despite the fact that he knows Lorenz far better than he initially knew any of them. Maybe it's due to most of the territory having been uncharted with them - with less familiarity, the unfamiliar hadn't felt so strange.
Lorenz has always been a difficult one, too - it isn't as simple as just pouring compassion and sympathy on him. The man has his pride, and as battered as it might be right now, Claude still thinks he probably has it in him to be offended if he feels Claude is coddling him. It's a delicate needle to thread, but...well, if his Deer aren't worth the effort, who is?
He chuckles a little, rubbing Lorenz's back with one hand. It's an almost familial gesture, not that Lorenz comes from any kind of family where he'd be likely to recognize it.] Jeez, wasn't expecting you to actually admit it...now I'm all embarrassed. But I missed you too, Lorenz. Seriously. And as much as I hate what you had to come through...I'm glad you're here.
no subject
Somehow, for all Claude's infinite wisdom, he hadn't actually expected Lorenz to break down like this, even though he'd known the other man was in a bad state. In retrospect, maybe that was uncharacteristically stupid of him. Whether or not it's accurate - Lorenz himself doesn't seem entirely sure anymore, and Claude is happy to cling to that scrap of hope rather than believe otherwise - Lorenz had thought he'd died. Alone, desperate and scared, full of regrets, trying to do what he believed was right all the way to the end but none of it going the way he wanted it to. Who wouldn't break down?
(Thinking of Lorenz dying with his regrets laying heavy on him...it makes him think of some of the more disturbing beliefs of Faerghus. And, for a moment, he almost thinks he sees a glimmer of sense in it. Not that preaching that kind of doctrine, thinking that the regretful dead are burning in a sort of hell until their regrets are resolved for them, is a good thing by any means, but...the way it makes him feel, he can see why those feeling the same might try to justify doing whatever they felt would help the dead rest easier. Less a service to the dead than a balm - and perhaps an excuse - for the grieving. Claude's never been a particularly vengeful or violent person, but...if Lorenz died like that, then Edelgard and Count Gloucester have something to personally answer to Claude for.)
Still...somehow, Claude hadn't seen this coming. Perhaps because he and Lorenz have rarely been this raw and vulnerable with each other - Lorenz rarely, Claude next to never. They're way off the map of their usual dynamic, and Claude isn't quite sure how to navigate it. It feels oddly harder than the emotional intimacy that he's developed with the Blue Lions here, despite the fact that he knows Lorenz far better than he initially knew any of them. Maybe it's due to most of the territory having been uncharted with them - with less familiarity, the unfamiliar hadn't felt so strange.
Lorenz has always been a difficult one, too - it isn't as simple as just pouring compassion and sympathy on him. The man has his pride, and as battered as it might be right now, Claude still thinks he probably has it in him to be offended if he feels Claude is coddling him. It's a delicate needle to thread, but...well, if his Deer aren't worth the effort, who is?
He chuckles a little, rubbing Lorenz's back with one hand. It's an almost familial gesture, not that Lorenz comes from any kind of family where he'd be likely to recognize it.] Jeez, wasn't expecting you to actually admit it...now I'm all embarrassed. But I missed you too, Lorenz. Seriously. And as much as I hate what you had to come through...I'm glad you're here.