Ilphyl wasn't going to explain some of the thoughts they had on their own gender to a dark elf they just met; regardless of how Ilphyl felt, they knew they were a male drow to the society that raised them. "Because it's our hair. Keep it or shave it all off, that's our decision."

They were surprised that they had said that with far more a bite than they normally did when speaking of their life before they came to the surface. Ilphyl was so used to passing off their various issues with drow society as far more light-hearted than they were, because it was easier than dealing with humans' reactions when Ilphyl was serious about it. Which meant they immediately paused to gauge Jarlaxle's reaction. (Sorry, Jarlaxle, you are still Not Entirely Safe to actually be honest towards; Ilphyl just met you.)