TEST DRIVE - NOVEMBER & DECEMBER

[indigo_league]

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Comments

CW: 1960s era medical horror/medical abuse/casual ableist language

[valkavian]

[ the fuck ]

...it's possible.

Anyway. I was there, in the hospital. The fucks that ran the place were having me wait to get my brains scooped out. Fun times, wish they, you know, asked me how I felt about it.

One of the doctors there has me taken to his office and gives me an offer I literally cannot refuse unless I already took that damn icepick to the face.

And as much as that guy was a piece of shit, accepting the "curse" of Cain was probably one of the best decisions I've made.

Am I making sense so far?

1/2

[problemagus]

I believe the more common terminology would be 'vampire'. I've had my own share of dealings with them, I'm not about to lie. I served as a hitman of sorts to the Mage's Association, and taken out more than a dozen high level threats or so in my time. Nothing personal or anything.

( Sorry Val, you just happened to single out the local SI in your area. )

Cannot really blame you, though. Sounds as though you were given a pretty rotten deal. When our understanding of mental and emotional health is constantly advancing, and society isn't particularly kind to those who are suffering. Eight years of Reagan certainly didn't help while I spent time in America.

2/2

[problemagus]

( A beat. )

Are you claiming the biblical Cain was a vampire?

( Well, if Angra Mainyu exists, anything is possible. )

[valkavian]

First of all, I've killed a ton of other vampires, also don't even get me started on the kine.

Second,

Yes.

[problemagus]

( Val, what? )

This isn't a contest. I just don't want you to think I'm out to get you or anything. If it helps, I've also killed a ton of other mages.

( God, he could use a cigarette about now. )

So would that make Cain one of those True Ancestors, if I'm not mistaken?

1/2

[valkavian]

I'm just saying, it would be weird for me to be offended when my hands aren't exactly clean either.

Either way, I...guess? If that's what you want to call it. He's the first one, and actually

let me draw you a chart

2/2

[valkavian]

I am not going to get into the big red D's other than imagine if you could eat your dad, take his power, and then YOU'RE the dad now.

[problemagus]

That's fair.

( Well that's A LOT, and he's not quite sure he understands it all, but. )

Cannot say I enjoy the idea of vampiric mages. ( This Tremere guy can go to hell. ) Honestly, I killed my own father and inherited his crest, so I suppose that's not too dissimilar.

( Lol, lmao. )

dropping this dank lore bomb

[valkavian]

Hey, that's valid. Every parental figure I've ever had in my life died by my hand, which, once again, I know this isn't a competition, I'm just saying I can't judge.

gOD

[problemagus]

Well, I guess if we're swapping backstories: In hindsight, he was grooming me to take on the family research. I was really too young to understand what exactly that entailed until there had been a ghoul outbreak in our village. Apparently Norikata had been dabbling in undead apostle research as a means to extend his own lifespan. I was forced to come to the conclusion that this wasn't something that needed to be advanced, and shot him that night.

( Like he said, he doesn't much enjoy the thought of vampiric mages. )

I'm presuming your own parents had something to do with you being shipped off to a mental institution?

Re: gOD

[valkavian]

YOUR OLD MAN WAS A DIPSHIT WANNABE TREMERE?

[problemagus]

Seems that way.

[valkavian]

Just throw him away; someone like that isn't even worth eating.

Anyway, they kept putting me in there, I decided I'd had enough and killed both of them, and then the shitty ass lawyer they gave me got me there AGAIN.

I told that bitch that at that point I would REALLY prefer jail.

[problemagus]

Most mages are pretty foolish, if I'm being totally honest. My own father aside, they tend to ignore the advances in medicine and technology, believing their magecraft superior, which is often their undoing. Guns, bombs, grenades, poisoning. They never think to defend against it. Pretty useful tactics in my own work, personally.

( Lol, lmao. )

Not that I don't believe your parents weren't rancid human beings, but what did they find so apparently wrong with you? Something as asinine as being an opinionated woman, I'd take it?

The 60s were an incredibly dark time

[valkavian]

Eh, other stuff, too.

They tried to send me to a girls' school at first, because they wanted to change everything about me, but lacked the foresight to realize they were basically sending me to an all you can eat buffet.

[ Of pussy. Sadly in this time period being gay was also considered a mental illness. ]

Turn of phrase still works even though this was BEFORE the embrace, holy fuck.

[problemagus]

A learned scholar of Sappho, I see.

( Basically: he sees nothing wrong with this. )

Cannot see how men can even blame women for this, personally. If they aren't graciously accepting the dew of a woman's thighs, of course a woman is going to look elsewhere.

( Men are stupid fucks, Val!!! )

[valkavian]

Oh my GOD, why did I even bring this up.

[ You're embarrassing her! ]

[problemagus]

Forgive me. If it embarrasses you, I'll stop.

Americans have always been fairly puritanical, in my limited experience. It's never been something I could fully grap.

I think my wife is better off for it, though. If no subject is taboo, it leads to a more informed and consenting relationship.

( Irisviel is the real winner here. )

[valkavian]

It has been fifty years since I had to even think about this and I'm not sure how I feel now that I have a pulse again.

[ Fucking is a HUMAN thing, Kiri, the fuck is she gonna do when she's clinically dead? ]

[problemagus]

Oh, I think I get it. It's not something I've ever had to consider, but the lack of blood flow would prevent you from having sex, is that right? But I suppose that wouldn't exactly stop you from having a relationship in a more platonic sense. Do you have any partners in your own world, or would you consider looking for a girlfriend here?

[valkavian]

[ A long ass pause. ]

When will my beautiful shadow wife come back from the war.