ohmyarceus | APRIL - MAY TEST DRIVE MEME

The sorta hellhole that had some "benevolent entity" show up to help the planet out. Then we got invaded by all that entity's ex-boyfriend alien species wanting to get their girl back and willing to fight for it.

There was a long time humans were in a bad place. Honestly, they still are. They're just used to it now, what's left of 'em.

[He rubs under his new snakes chin as he explains.]

So this place? Real differ'nt. Almost like how it used to be.

Oh, alien bullshit. Yeah, ya just can't friggin trust aliens! They'll screw everything over. Weird ass energy bastards.

Sucks to be your dimension, I guess.

For the most part we don't got the energy kind. They do like their energy weapons, though. Sometimes they supe themselves up with it. Shields and junk? But nah. All of 'em got good big tickle spots that are real helpful to aim for.

[He makes a 'pop' noise with his mouth, making a finger-gun motion. Then that motion turns to him flicking a coin between those two fingers and walking it over his knuckles.]

Either way, this is a hell of a break. All the food I can eat [that's the most important], fresh air, nothin' tryin' to kill me if I decide to take a walk in the woods. Just a long dirt road that's actually got somewhere to go and a few beds here and there to rest in.

Haha. You'll have to excuse me. Hellholes set your bar for improvement pretty low, brother.

Yeah, back home we got the kind that just are weapons. Like...explode your brain with a blink kinda deal. I mean not so much anymore, they mostly all yeeted off to some other dimension or something.

[It's...kind of vague on that, nobody was taking detailed notes or anything when the Eridians were around.]

But nah, this place is mostly pretty quiet. I mean sometimes time and space rip open and giant jellyfish aliens come pouring through, so...

Ya know. There's that.

See? That's real inconvenient... But honestly, we got a few of those, too. They can do it with a song or a hard look. "Necromantic gaze" kinda deal. Fucked up when someone given you the stink eye can put you six feet under... if you're the type to stay dead, that is.

[Drifter really... isn't.]

Time and space rip open? So uh... tell me about these jellyfish aliens.

[Though he's really interested in this whole time and space ripping open thing.]

Nobody here's the type to stay dead, but you'll...figure that out. Or not! Doesn't happen too often around here, but it happens.

What's there to tell? Sky jellyfish from beyond space, I didn't exactly stick around to ask questions. Some Pokemon are big are terrifying and not exactly domesticated.

People have died here before? Didn't hear nothin' about that. You got me interested.

[His Seviper slithers then to rest it's head in his lap, and he gives up playing with the coin so he can stroke it. Though the coin just sort of seems to disappear rather than be put anywhere. Drifter's slight of hand game is strong.]

I gathered that, though. Not all the critters I have come by have had personable dispositions like this one. But I tell you, watchin' the fire breathin' ones get all riled up is a hoot.

[Drifter, for a very old man, is also easily entertained.]

It's not exactly dying? It's like...you feel like you're dying, but when shit goes dark...then ya wake up in hospital bed at a Pokecenter. Context, had this chick with a super bad temper lose her shit at me and beat me to death. Or...mostly death? Yeah, gonna go with mostly.

Yeah, and some of'em are from space or shit. And aren't the kind you can catch in a ball.

You wanna see some cool fire breathing monsters, I can show you some cool fire breathing monsters! Got some dragons. You into dragons? What am I saying, who isn't into dragons? Dragons are friggin awesome!

Huh. Well, that's weird. You feel perfectly okay when you woke up or were ya all laid out?

I'd ask if ya had any witnesses you could ask if she stood there tryin' but, let's be real, if you was layin' there just bein' someone's bad-day pinata is not a question anyone wants to ask. And anybody that stood by and watched it likely ain't the helpin' sort.

Anyway, so you got dragons, brother? You've piqued my interest.

[He's seen some shit in his time but you know what? Some good classic dragons sound like a good time.]

I was not okay, no.

Yeah I don't really remember it well, but the crazy asshole was waiting in my house for me. So no witnesses.

I sure do. You want classic or dino-flavor?

Hope somebody wrote somethin' nice on your cast, then.

Dinosaur is pretty new, but I'll take whatever ya got. I've seen some pretty hefty fire slingin' brutes back home. Think I'd like to meet some that are a little easier to be friends with.

[The idea of a Taken Hive Knight coming out of a pokeball is pretty rich, though, he's gotta admit. He might chuckle quietly to himself about that one.]

Something like that!

Alright, we'll start off with the classics. This guy was my first dragon, his name's Warrior. Hatched him myself!

[He'd been Jack's first egg, too. And what a wonderful surprise when it had hatched into something awesome!]

[He leaves the frame a minute and picks up his 'gear, heading to his backyard to let his shiny Charizard out. And Warrior does not disappoint, bursting out of his ball in a shower of flame and a flex of wings, right in the center of the camera view.]

[He can see why the guy had to go all the way out of his house for that.]

Whoa, hey there big fella! That musta took you a while to grow.

[He pulls out his pokeball, scrutinizing it.] I gotta figure out how these damn things work. Keepin' something like that comfortable in a ride this small? Must take some digital wizardry of a style I'm unfamiliar. [Oh, but if he could figure it out? The things he could do.]

[Right though. Dragon. Big Dragon.]

What's your win record with 'im? Pretty rough in the arena, he looks like. [Better be with a name like 'Warrior'.]

Yeah, this is his third and final evolution, took a lot to get him there. But worth it! He kicks ass. Undefeated so far, actually, but I will admit I've only done one of the official gyms with him.

I'm guessing you don't have digitech where you come from? Or...huh, I dunno what it would possibly be called in other dimensions or realities or whatever the good god damn it is. Converting matter to data and back.

Nah, we got it. In a few forms, too. But I know how that digitech works, and then I had to figure out a whole new form of it when I was investigatin' alien races. Wanna learn how to build digitech from glowing runes on rocks? Takes you a little while.

Anyway, I figure this works a different way from either of those. [And dammit, he wants in.]

Only one gym? Brother, you need to get out more. Show that bad boy off. Honestly these gyms seem kinda boring, though. Go in. Get a badge. A little bit to line your pockets. Fight one person once or twice? Nah. I think people could do way better than that.

....so...where exactly are you from? I'm just asking cuz...glowing runes in rock...aliens from another dimension... this is all kinda more familiar than I'm used to from random transplants that show up here.

See, that's it exactly! Yeah, I got badass Pokemon at max levels and everything but...okay, so I beat some dude and got some more money than usual, so what? It's not exactly a big thrill. Plus you got teenagers and crazy old dudes among the 'elite' and it just doesn't seem like that big a deal.

I'd rather just focus on staying rich.

I'm from Earth. An Earth. Sounds like ever'body got their own version of that shitshow, in various states of shittiness. We got Hive, Vex, Cabal, Fallen, and Taken. At least that's what our names for 'em are. Don't know if any of those are familiar.

The more I think of it, I bet I could come up with somethin'. I'm surprised no one's incorporated these potions into some armor yet. Adapt that armor to suit the digitech and suiting it up would be easy as throwin' the right ball.

[But hey, money. Drifter likes money. Not that he keeps much of it, most of it goes into his research and prizes for his games. He's leaning forward, that big snake's head happily tucked up against his stomach.]

Rich, huh? What line of work are you in?

Nope. We left Earth a looooong time ago, I dunno if it even still exists! I didn't know it was even real till I came here and everybody was from there.

Yeah it's weird here, the tech is weird. I should be able to figure it out but I can't. And you're talking to a guy who designs space stations and sentient robots. Some of it's super advanced, some of it...isn't.

[Jack grins.]

I'm a businessman. A smart and experienced businessman.

Ah. Good to meet another businessman, Brother! Hopin' I can get on my feet here. Sounds like the entertainment industry could use a bit of a shake-up.

[Earth, he suspects, won't be around for long.]

I've built quite a few things myself. Admittedly you don't get a whole lotta new parts anymore. Not with a lotta the old suppliers gone under. I don't know about Sentient robots. Not that I have anything against Exos. Those are differ'nt. Like people and made by somethin' else. But there're these security bots? Takes about fifty of 'em to take on a Fallen Captain.

When you're sparse on resources I prefer handin' out specialized armor and a good weapon.

Nobody's gonna stop ya! It's Jack, by the way. So I'm guessing you're looking for work?

Yeah, I was not lacking in resources! And I mean...you gotta lot of dangerous work to be done, what's the smarter option? Send in flesh and blood people, or replaceable machines that can do what people do? I mean I built a type of robot that just constructs and pops out other robots. Takes like ten minutes to make a whole new robot.

Nice. I mean, potentially a hell machine in the wrong hands, but niiice. You just use 'em for fightin' or do they do the 'too dangerous for regular idiots' areas? And good to meet ya. I'm Wu Ming. [That'll be the name he decides to stick with, likely. It's been one to put people at a sort of ease that makes it easy to be disregarded.]

And I could handle a little job here and there, dependin' on what it is you're askin' of me. I'd be mighty obliged for some funds to get on my feet, so to speak.

Use'em for everything! Fighting, repairs, cleanup, general maintenance...

That a whole name or both bits?

Eh, I'm sure we can figure something out. Always got some odd jobs that need doing.

Whole name, but I won't kick "Wu" out of bed.

And thank you kindly. Some of us need a little fuel for our get-up-and-go. And a backpack and well-wishes from Ma ain't really enough.

Edited 2019-05-01 21:25 (UTC)

So you go by Ming? I'm just trying to work out what the hell to call ya besides 'buddy'!

Yeah ya don't start out with too much, huh?

[So Jack has heard. He lucked out and started right in Goldenrod at the Rocket base. With cash. And a room of his own. And a cafeteria full of food.]

Nah, I'm meaning you can just call me Wu if ya need to. You know what? Friend works too. Buddy or whatever. It's not like people don't end up as 'Brother' with me most of the time.

Nah, not really. But I've scraped myself up with less. Built a ship I could haul celestial bodies with outa scrap. I can at least manage another bar or venue or somethin'.

APRIL - MAY TEST DRIVE MEME

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