ohmyarceus | JULY - AUGUST TEST DRIVE MEME

[G'rhyf shakes their head, the motion slight and brief, and takes a few deep breaths to try and steady themself. Focusing on the feeling of G'raha's arms around them, the sound of his breathing.]

But that it would lead you to me...even after everything you've been through. [They open their eyes, blinking quickly to try and clear the wetness and only partly succeeding. Gods, they must look a mess--red face and weepy eyes over something they've been wishing for for so long now. G'rhyf scrubs at their eyes with one hand to wipe away at least some of it, anxious tension clear in their movements; they don't want to make this all about them.] I--I'm sorry, I know I'm being ridiculous...

I can't imagine it leading me anywhere else.

[After all he's done and seen, across lifetimes, space and time and bodies and souls, G'rhyf being at the end of that long road (or would it simply be a place to stop and rest along the journey, to continue on in company rather than alone or letting the road drop off to its end?) made the most sense. Even if the warmth in his chest was not nearly as strong as it was, even if they were fated only to be friends, G'raha can't consider a future that G'rhyf isn't part of. It just wasn't how things could ever be.

He pulls back slightly only to help G'rhyf wipe those tears away.]

It's fine, don't - please, don't apologize. If this is how you're feeling...should you not express it?

I--

[G'rhyf laughs weakly, leaning unconsciously into his touch. The hand at their eyes moves to rest on G'raha's arm, and the other tightens just a little bit into the fabric of his vest.]

...I was scared. Scared you'd find some part of me that proved I wasn't enough, or that--that as soon as I said anything, something would take you from me again. Or if you didn't feel the same and I just soured it all, or...any number of things. I felt like anything I might do would ruin this.

[The shy twining of their hands, tails brushing together by calculated chance. The way his ears wiggled in his delight, the sound of his laughter in voices both tired and so very bright. They remember the soft, worn smiles he gave as the Exarch and their heart twists once more--had he suspected? Held a flame of hope in his chest, to the very end?]

I'm so sorry it took me this long to say it.

[See, there's a thing about G'raha Tia - a duality that has persisted within him. A desire to be what is needed, and a persistent thought that he could never be enough. It's nothing unique to him, but it is there at his core, attitudes entertwined and at-odds even now, with so much he has seen and experienced. With so much that could be expected of him in the future.

There's still some of that with G'rhyf, but it's not...it isn't...it finds kinship there, in the doubts voiced, and mellows somewhat. He's not the only one who's nervous. He's not the only one afraid to make one mistake and shatter it all.

He just. Sighs, softly. Brings his head forward again, to rest his forehead on their's. Because he wants to.]

If you are sorry, then I...I should apologize as well. No doubt my actions only made things more difficult for you.

[The secrets. The hiding. Right up until the end, pushing and trying and hoping beyond hope for the smallest sliver of G'rhyf's...anything, beyond just saving them and two worlds at once. He'd have taken anything, so long as it was offered. Even the barest whisper on the wind of a memory in the Warrior of Light's mind.

That didn't mean he hadn't been cruel, in a way. That didn't mean he thought he deserved a scrap of anything, let alone this.]

I intend to make up for it. All of it - lost time, and lost chances, because...I find myself feeling much the same.

[Oh. Of course.]

[G'rhyf lets out a soft breath, not quite a sigh but neither a laugh, and their eyes fall gently shut as they lean their head into his.]

We really are just a pair of fools, aren't we?

[Maybe that's why it feels so right, to be here at his side.]

[Never, never would G'rhyf have blamed him for hiding himself the way he had. The force of a hundred years of habit, a century holding the weight of his burden--they knew only too well how those things could scar, leave behind fractures in the better parts of yourself. They both danced around the truth of what was between them for this long, coy and guarded and neither daring to hope...what a pair they made.]

[At least now they can start a dance that won't leave them both in heartache.]

[They reach up again, brushing the backs of their fingers against G'raha's cheek before leaning in for another kiss. They let it linger a while longer than the others, and pull back again with a warm, loving smile.]

We'll make it up together. Now, and...as long as you'll have me at your side.

Perhaps so.

[But he's okay with that. He's okay with being a fool, if it means he's with someone who's charted his course for so long.

And he's certainly okay with foolishness if it means more of this. More closeness, more gentleness, more...more than he deserved and more than he'd ever dared to dream of. He sighs into the kiss, meeting it softly, eagerly.]

I...would stay for as long as you would have me.

[For as long as he still drew breath, if G'rhyf let him.]

[G'rhyf leans to let their noses touch again, heart light and fluttering in their chest. G'raha is so...it's cute, his hesitance and soft kindness, how he nearly asks permission to say he wants a lifetime at their side. It hurts in turn, of course, that he thinks he needs to ask at all, and they resolve in that moment to silence that doubt in his heart. No matter how long it took.]

I've no intention to ever let you go.

[...then a piece of phrasing comes to mind, and their smile grows a touch embarrassed.] ...ah, metaphorically I mean. I, um, I probably shouldn't carry you everywhere.

[~~Unless...?~~]

[Why wouldn't he ask? He couldn't just assume, that...G'rhyf's life should be about G'rhyf's choices, as much as they can do so. G'raha had done enough imposing. He wants to do this right.]

-!

[His stomach drops in that good way, the way that comes with the thrill of leaping across a chasm or down from incredible heights, with the rush of wind and the anticipation of a successful landing tingling in his limbs.

I've no intention to ever let you go.

Please, he wants to say. Please don't ever let go.]

A-Ahah, well...yes, that might be inconvenient, wouldn't it? I am no longer residing in a, um, pocket-sized vessel, after all?

[Just make a joke it's fine just joke about it, it's fine, ignore how deep that flush goes on his cheeks it's fine]

[A laugh bubbles out of them, weak with relief and...just. All of the emotions they've barreled through in the past few minutes. They feel like they should be exhausted from it, but they're just giddy. A spark of mischief lights in their eyes, and they can't help but grin.]

Perhaps a bit! But then...

[G'raha doesn't get much more warning before G'rhyf shifts to quickly scoop him up into a bridal carry, popping up to their feet and smiling their fool head off.]

A hypothesis has to be tested first, right?

[The sound G'raha makes is undignified and startled, and he wiggles a bit out of shock, but not enough for G'rhyf to lose hold of him.]

A - A hypothe - Rhyf!!!

[Water u doin to him where we goin]

[G'rhyf laughs and spins around for a moment before they start pacing around the clearing, hefting G'raha a few times as if testing his weight.]

Hmm, not terribly heavy, and easy to carry besides... [They meet G'raha's eyes, and while they're definitely trying to talk smooth here there's no hiding that they're blushing just as hard as he is.] Though I might have trouble keeping my eyes on the road!

[ohgodthatlinewassodumbwhataretheydoingaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Gods take him now, his entire face and neck must be just as red as his hair.]

C-Come now! You're just...I h-have full faith in your abilities to...

My ability to...?

[G'rhyf can't stop a helpless little giggle, leaning to touch noses with G'raha again.]

Your ability to focus on the-

[asdfghjkl you'll be the death of him, he just

he cannot resist nose bump when your face is right there]

[Boop!]

On the task at hand?

[G'rhyf grins and squeezes G'raha a little bit tighter against them, just for a moment.]

But Raha, isn't that you?

Edited 2021-11-04 05:45 (UTC)

[He meant the rOAD...!]

I-I...that's...m-mayhap it is? I don't...

[Oh he's so red in the face it's criminal]

[Oh, Azemya take them now, one of them is going to die from this nonsense and G'rhyf truly isn't sure which it will be. They laugh helplessly and turn to take G'raha back over to that fallen tree, brows creasing with apologetic concern.]

Forgive me, I just--I couldn't help but tease you a little. You're so cute when you get flustered.

[Ah, gods, their cause of death in this new future will be a terrible bout of puppy love. He huffs softly, nothing angry in it.]

W-Well...I suppose if that's all it is, then, I am sorely overdue for some...teasing.

[He doesn't mean it to sound awkward or to imply anything, and the half-moment from when it's left his mouth he wishes he'd said it different.]

I - wait, I mean - only that it's been ages since anyone's been able to...since I've spoken with...to converse with ease, and not formality...

[It takes...a few solid seconds for the accidental allusion to catch up with G'rhyf, by which point they've settled G'raha to sit on the log and had only just begun to straighten up again. They freeze in place, and there might well be stream coming out their ears from how fast their face heats up.]

Ah--n-no, I knew what you meant! I'm glad that I can, uh...

[Suddenly G'rhyf is extremely aware of how they're half-leaning over G'raha, one hand bracing themself on his knee, and they drop to just. Sit on the ground next to the log where they'd set him down, and fix their gaze vaguely off from his shoulder. For the first time they're glad for the lack of their tail, because it would be absolutely thrashing right now.]

...that you're comfortable with me. [Lamest end to that sentence possible, but at least it's something.]

[Did he just insert the innuendo into the conversation was it going to not be a thing had he kept his mouth shut??? Oh damn it...is G'rhyf's hand still on his knee? He'd. He'd like to sort of. Put his hand over theirs? Kind of in a half-pat, half-please stay there.]

Of...of course I am.

[A pause. How does he express it? The need for secrecy for so long, the nerves tempered only by assured resolve, knowing that if he was as transparent as he was used to being that everything could fall apart in a moment...and how much he cherishes that freedom now. With someone who meant the world to him.]

[He does manage to catch their hand before they pull away, and G'rhyf's hand stills before they relax and let it settle there. Leaning their head against G'raha's side, they turn their hand over to let him hold it, if he wants.]

...I know I can...be a bit much to deal with, at times.

[Absolutely he wants to hold their hand.]

What? No, no, that's...I never thought so. [A pause, and then a chuckle.] Though I've thought as much about myself lately - when reflecting on the past, I mean. It's not hard for me to look back and acknowledge that I was once...er...possibly a touch impetuous.

Only a touch? [G'rhyf laughs, squeezing his hand to take any sting from it away.] I found it charming, though. You dive into everything you do with so much passion, it's hard to not get caught up in it.

Though you could have tried to be a little less suspicious about the aethersand.

Edited 2021-11-17 15:28 (UTC)

[A flush of embarrasment!] I-I am trying to be honest without...sounding self-depricating!

[Because he really could be down on himself quite easily if he wasn't careful. And that made other people upset. Why, he can still feel Alisaie flicking his forehead for being so willing to die to send them home.]

Er...gods. Yes, I ought to have been much less...all of that. But I got caught up in the moment! Felling a dangerous creature, then actually seeing you in the flesh, the both of us looking for the prize I held...who wouldn't be, you know, a little...ridiculous?

[G'raha you sound ridiculous trying to justify yourself.]

[Well, at least that is a problem they both share. G'rhyf makes an embarrassed sort of grimace, shrugging their shoulders.] Ah, I suppose...I'd thought you must have been been angry at me at first, nosing in on a venture that meant so much to you. Like I was...trying to steal your glory, or something.

[After all, the expedition had started as just an interesting diversion for them. They were no scholar or master of magitech, just an adventurer with ten men's shares of good luck. When they already (and still) felt like an imposter using their own title, it was easy to make that sort of assumption.]

But it turned out alright in the end. I wasn't mad for very long, once I got the chance to actually meet you. Too charming of a man by half!

JULY - AUGUST TEST DRIVE MEME

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goobers. losers. i love them both.

catte dweebs for the win

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