[Malfoy lets out a long it tired sigh. And there is alot of pain and sorrow mixed in his expression. It's honestly the first time he allowed anyone to see the suffering he's dealt with over the years. Especially current.]
I can't undo what I did or had said in the past. Or what he's done. I also think an apology at this point would be empty and meaningless. The damage has been done. What I had done was wrong, cruel, and repetitive of the old ways.
Did it ever occur to you that I may have been uncomfortable and pressured to do alot of what I said and did? I was a Malfoy. A Pureblood. Someone of the old line. Etc. There for a lot of pressure on what was expected of me on how I behaved and who I hung out with.
Sure you can preach about how I could have changed ways by disregarding that all together. Yet that would have cost me my family. I didn't want that. I still loved them, despite their harsh and old ways. I know clinging to the old ways wasn't going to help especially when change was necessary. But when you come from an old family like I did? It's hard.
I don't want to follow in his footsteps. I just wanted him to appreaciate me for who I am. One of these days I'm going to be forced to decide and what ever I do decide there will be hard concesequences. Either choice I'm trapped.
[He clapsed his hand over the wrist where the Death Eaters tatoo was placed on him. He had that carefully covered so no one could notice it while he was here. He didn't need Hermoine to see that either.]
no subject
I can't undo what I did or had said in the past. Or what he's done. I also think an apology at this point would be empty and meaningless. The damage has been done. What I had done was wrong, cruel, and repetitive of the old ways.
Did it ever occur to you that I may have been uncomfortable and pressured to do alot of what I said and did? I was a Malfoy. A Pureblood. Someone of the old line. Etc. There for a lot of pressure on what was expected of me on how I behaved and who I hung out with.
Sure you can preach about how I could have changed ways by disregarding that all together. Yet that would have cost me my family. I didn't want that. I still loved them, despite their harsh and old ways. I know clinging to the old ways wasn't going to help especially when change was necessary. But when you come from an old family like I did? It's hard.
I don't want to follow in his footsteps. I just wanted him to appreaciate me for who I am. One of these days I'm going to be forced to decide and what ever I do decide there will be hard concesequences. Either choice I'm trapped.
[He clapsed his hand over the wrist where the Death Eaters tatoo was placed on him. He had that carefully covered so no one could notice it while he was here. He didn't need Hermoine to see that either.]