ohmyarceus | JANUARY - FEBRUARY TEST DRIVE MEME

[Newt nods seriously.]

Dreams can be really, really bad. My dreams are bad too. ...but I have to sleep.

[Her own dreams are of the monsters, her family dying in front of her. Dreams where she's not quick enough or isn't rescued in time. Dreams when she wakes up trying hard to breathe because she's sure that something is going to tear out of her chest....]

....why don't you have to sleep?

Um... I-I can, but I just don't sometimes.

[Even on nights where Ragnarok doesn't wake them up every hour just to spute them... they're used to not sleeping.]

I don't know how to deal with some of those bad dreams.

Oh.

[Newt tries to think it over.]

I used to talk to my doll a lot....after bad dreams. That made me feel better sometimes.

Ummm... well, I guess you'd have to fight it then.

But I've never seen an egg turn into an animal that wasn't my friend.

Not even Mad! She bites me all the time, but that's just because she can't see and has 'anger management issues'. She can't help it.

_{[He bends out of the frame, then straightens back up with a snapping, snarling shiny Deino, which waves its stubby legs and makes disgruntled croaking noises.]}

This is Mad! She's my daughter.

_[BEAM.]

[That? That is is the sound of a device being thrown away for a moment because, no eyes and the colour just scream xenomorph/monster .....wait no. Newt gets out of the bush and picks the device carefully to look at it better. It's clearly not one of them, it's two small and if it had bit him, the acid would kill him. Okay so not monster she knows.

Still standing far away from the egg.]

......she's not trying to kill you?

[This child --Pieck is certain it is a child, of sorts, though certainly more spoiled and well-fed than the lot she generally sees-- is ridiculous. Even Pokko at his worst and most surly isn't as ridiculous at this. It'd be easy to let him be, perhaps let experience teach him that such attitudes don't tend to get many results, but then... where would the fun be in that?

Pieck messages laying in an odd tangle of limbs on what seems to be some sort of couch. Her long hair, while not unwashed, has been left to fall down to frame her slightly sallow face in loose tangles, as if her appearance isn't much of a concern to her. Visible, just at the edge of the frame, are a great quantity of greyish-brownish fur that is sharing the divan with Pieck (maybe a pokemon?) and a crutch leaning against the back of the couch.]

It is a little rude, bringing us all here like this. But maybe they just wanted to meet a stunning royal like yourself.

[Immediately he perks up at her compliment, and it's clear he's just that easy. While he might not be too impressed with how she looks, he can't complain if she's got a working thinkpan in that drab skull of hers!]

And what would you be? Merely a member a' the audience brought here to beholdin' my stunnin' and jaw droppin' existence?

[A pause as he looks at what else in on screen, eyeing the crutch for a moment.]

You some sorta gimp.

[The way it's said is more an accusation, than a question.]

It seems I was brought here same as you. Perhaps I am also some sort of royal.

[When Eridan asks her about her crutch (quite rudely) she glances at it for a moment, before returning her gaze to him.]

It's just that it seems I've forgotten how to walk on two legs for the moment.

[That is announced completely casually as if people routinely forget how to walk on two feet.

Of course, it might be a little more understandable if Eridan knew she had just spent her last few months as a giant, four-legged titan, but alas. Quite ignorant on that, he is.]

I think it will pass. Or maybe not. We will see.

[It will absolutely pass. It has always passed. But why be more exact with this child?]

Psh! If you ain't aware a' your royal lineage then you likely ain't no bloody royal. Don't kid yourself.

[Rude is how he rolls, unfortunately.]

Wait, how the fuckin' shit do you just forget how to walk? You got a broken sponge in that pan of yours or somesuch?

[He asks as if that's not rude at all. His skyhorse did a poor job teaching him manners, it seems.]

[Pissbaby recognize pissbaby, player, and here comes the biggest one of all.]

Well, hi there, Stripe!

[The voice is cheerful, bright, and just the slightest bit grating. The face that goes along with it, leering up into the camera, is... yeah. It's cheerful, certainly, but beyond that, it's something to behold. One beady, yellow eye, bloodshot and bulging out of the man's skull, peers at Eridan; the other one is sealed shut somehow, through an injury or bad hygiene or self-afflicted surgery is anyone's guess. Straggly, greasy hair falls over Bill's bulbous forehead, and his mouth... good god, his mouth. He has mouth for daaaaaays, and all those days look like ones at the end of the world. And that thin-lipped, brown-toothed mouth is the one right up and in the camera.]

Glad to see I'm not the only one who's new at this! What've you figured out so far?

[Eridan visibly reels back as he sees... what he assumes is a human, but most certaintly the lowest end of whatever spectrum humans have for themselves.

Now, to be fair, it's not like Eridan is a master of human knowledge, nor does he care enough to learn all the different types. So he feels it's just as fair to lump this guy with the being nothing more than the human equivalent of troll society's degenrate rust bloods, and other equally biologically unappealing people.

His eyes linger on his hair for a moment, before he takes in the nickname he was just bequeathed. Stripe....]

Euugh... You'd think you would know how to present yourself before askin' your better for adwice, but I suppose you humans are always lackin' in means of decorum.

[There we go, throw some insults to calm that rise of bile in his throat, even if no one would blame him for his resolve breaking in the face of this monstrosity.]

Also, who the fuck are you to ask me? I ain't sharin' no secrets, especially not when I am making a request here and you ain't got the basic decency to pony up your own deets.

[Ah, gotta lean back to take in all the majesty of it, huh? Bill understands that. Such a fine specimen such as himself can't be taken in all at once, and he leans back a little himself. There you go, now you can see his extremely fashionable bowtie and the way his chin blends right into his shoulders. No useless neck here!]

Presentation is very important.

[Nod nod nod, sending all those multiple chins jiggling. No disagreement here!]

But I'm not a human! This is just the meat suit I'm wearing right now!

[Slightly unhinged laughter.]

Being in three dimensions is a trip, isn't it?

[His jaw tightens as more of this amorphous blob of a person presents himself to be regarded. The lack of a neck is almost as disturbing on its own than the rest of him combined.

Okay, maybe not that disturbing, but it's new and fresh and he can't stop staring at the jiggling chins...]

Fuckin' fuck, you're like a skywhale mated with a load of rottin' rubbish, you know that?

[Not human, tho? That means whoever brought him here gave him the worst meat suit they had. Who did he piss off? Suddenly, Eridan feels a whole lot more content with his human suit.]

Uh, sure whatewer about the third dimension. Full time resident and such, so can't say it's anythin' outta the ordinary. But, uh, you should probably find a new human suit than the one you're currently bein' saddled with, it's fuckin' somethin' awful.

[Was that supposed to be upsetting? If it was, it completely misses the mark as Bill just laughs, loudly and uproariously. Congratulations, Eridan, you get treated to the sight of that gaping maw, and all its spitty, brown-toothed glory, up close and personal again. You know how sometimes, you see something so terrible and gross, you swear you can smell it?]

[That is Bill's mouth right now.]

Are you getting angry? Why? Don't like how you got the human suit with the emo dye job... Stripe?

[And as if that horrible smell were wafted straight into his face, his nose scrunches with repulse.]

I ain't so easily bothered, giwe me a bit more credit.

[God!]

And eff-why-aye: this pink, fleshy, downright inferior sack a' meat they dare to call a suitable body for a bloody royal a' my pedigree is a bloody insult. But, if it were between what I got and what you got?

[He just lets out an indignant, humorless laugh.]

[The nose scrunch is weirdly endearing. Haha, he got a reaction!]

You're royalty?

[Bill perks up at that, his sparse eyebrows rising to his equally sparse hairline and his rheumy, running eye lighting up. He flutters his weirdly precise eyelashes at Eridan, and nods his head in what looks like an attempt at a bow. Kind of hard to bow properly when you don't have a neck.]

Didn't realize I was in the presence of... a prince? A future king? What'd they call you, my liege?

[Alright. This guy might be the closest thing to sentient guttertrash Eridan's gander bulbs have ever had the displeasure of being exposed to.

On the other fin, he seems to fucking get how to treat royalty. This? Eridan can get used to.

But why in the fucking hell did he have to look like a flesh golem made from people who were afraid of personal hygiene???]

I'm the bloody Prince a' Hope. The penultimate hue to none other than the Empress an' Heiress apparent themselwes. Kinda a huge deal, if you're catchin' my drift.

[A subtle pun. Just a little one. Look, he's being friendly kinda! Ignore how that look of disgust is still planted on his face, that's almost a default expression anyways.]

[Guttertrash is all in the eye of the beholder, buddy.]

I knew it! I knew it! Just one look at you, Stripe, and I could tell you were a Prince.

[Do you hear the capitalization of the word Prince? Because you're supposed to. It might be hard with all this mouth, though.]

The Prince of Hope, huh? Sounds important. And second only to the Empress and Heiress! Wow! That's a huge deal!

[A slight pause, and Bill's eye narrows ever so slightly.]

I bet she was pretty, wasn't she?

[Video]

[At first, the screen is dark, and all you hear is laughter. Slightly unhinged laughter, that sounds like the person doing it is laughing through a mouthful of suet. And then the camera switches on, and you get to see... this fucker right here. Behold him, in all his sweaty, wobbling, glistening glory. That's a mouth that goes on for daaaaaays, friends, and it's right up in the camera, cackling away.]

Well well well well well! So this is what it's like in meat space! Being three dimensional is great!

[Don't question. Just roll with it.]

Name's Bill, and I'm real glad to meet all of you! Come say hi, tell me what I know! I already know things, but I could always know more!

[Action]

[Are you hanging around Goldenrod right now? If you are, you might spot a sentient meat golem hanging around outside department stores. He has a tiny little stool with him, which he is usually sitting on, since how those puny little legs are supposed to support that massive, triangular shaped body is anyone's guess. He's hanging around outside the stores, and fast-talking anyone who gets close. If they get close enough, Bill will try to go through their pockets.]

[Doesn't matter how old they are: man, woman, baby, he doesn't care. He is literally stealing candy from preschoolers right now, and then eating it right in front of them.]

[No.

No, no, no, holy shit. Bill can't be here. He's supposed to be dead. Gone, erased, obliterated irreversibly from existence. Certainly he's not supposed to be in this idyllic universe where the standard for 'evil' is some bumbling attempts at robbery.

His first instinct is all-consuming, cold-sweat panic. The second is blinding fury. The third is perspective. He knows how this universe works, and he knows by now that everyone drawn here finds themselves human. Bill looks barely human, but the fact remains that he is clearly no longer an all-powerful being of pure energy. Bill is, theoretically, hobbled to a crippling degree. That's something.

He could not respond, but unfortunately he is Stanford Pines and is physically incapable of not bursting in and making a scene.]

I am going to find you. I am going to find you, and I am going get rid of you however many times it takes to ensure you stay gone.

[Charming!]

Sixer!

[Like Bill would ever forget that voice!]

Sixer, it's you! Did you miss me? It's okay, you can admit that you missed me!

[Because obviously he did! What's not to miss?]

Hey, you're in this world too? Where are you? We should get together! Catch up for old time's sake!

Edited 2018-01-18 09:24 (UTC)

_{[Unfortunately for Bertolt (really, both of them), he's in Goldenrod.

After spending some Quality Time with a few of his more... physical Pokemon, he had needed to stock back up on supplies that he couldn't get in Blackthorn as well as pick up a few TMs for the future. He had Plans, and those Plans required certain abilities. During his entire time spent in the department store, Bertolt had an odd, nagging feeling in the back of his head that something was wrong. Or about to be wrong. He did his best to ignore it though! He really, really did, but ignoring his gut instinct never did end very well for him.

He ducks out of the store through an incoming crowd, keeping his head down and ignoring the way a few people look off to the side in bewilderment. It's only when the Pokemon that had been in front of him vanishes that he stops, looks to his left, then to his right, and balks.

There's his Gible on all fours and as stealthy as she can be with her jaws open and ready to Chomp, creeping up to--

Oh, gods, that's a person. That's-- What. Should... Does he say anything? What does he do? He can't just run up and grab her, can he?

Just a little bit closer... Those sticks look like they'd be fun to chew on!

When Bertolt speaks, his voice barely breaks a whisper;]}

Coral, no--

The only time I ever missed you is when I failed to shoot a hole right through you.

[He knows this is bait that Bill is dangling in front of him and he shouldn't be taking it, but it's so difficult not to. For all Ford has liked to think of himself as a stoic hero, phased by nothing, he's always been more ruled by his emotions than he cares to acknowledge.]

I am not going to tell you where I am.

[As far as Bill is concerned, this is basically foreplay.]

Sounds like fun! You know how I feel about pain!

[I.E. it's hilarious!]

Aw, why not? Don't be a spoilsport, Sixer! Look at me! I've got a body now!

[Bill is currently munching on a handful of candy he stole from a preschooler--and made him cry, it was great!--but it's lucky that the Gible is approaching on his good side, and he notices it out of the corner of his eye. He arches his brow and turns his head, technicolored candy-dye drool running down his chin, and looks at the Pokemon before bursting into laughter.]

Look at you! You look like something from home!

[And then he kind of... waves his foot at it.]

You've got so many teeth!

[Said with the utmost approval.]

JANUARY - FEBRUARY TEST DRIVE MEME

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be gentle with me zorn

Gentle? You know me better than that, Dees!

I do. You dratted demon.

Damn right!

[video]

[video] I started this tag and black mirror devoured me

[video] hmmmm, gotta make some more icons

[video] You mean that Mona Lisa isn't a good enough one???

[video] it's pretty great, not gonna lie, BUT...

[video] I see you added more masterpieces to your gallery!

[video] fine art

[video] Or what us illustrators like to refer to as "Fart"

[video] only the fartiest of fart

Bill Cipher | Gravity Falls

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action;

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