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Alphinaud Leveilleur | Final Fantasy XIV

[stratezeitgeist]

[action]

[If you happen to cross paths with the young scholar today, you will find him up a tree, bruised, with an equally worn out looking Eevee. At the trunk is a Rhyhorn, circling and intermittently headbutting the tree to shake them loose. Alphinaud has taken to throwing berries to entice or distract it, but nothing seems to be working yet.]

Help! Anyone! Pray save us!

[video]

[A transmission comes in of a young man holding a journal open, pen at the ready.]

I've read what's been available to me thus far, but there still seems many a mystery involved with our monster friends. I have my theories, but they are fledgling, nearly baseless lines of thought.

I have my suspicions, however, that even with all these dedicated researchers, the mere basics elude us. The mechanisms of evolution, I believe I can understand as a gathering of aether. Yet the fact that these creatures breed, seemingly heedless of species, I believe belies some deeper conspiracy.

action;

[equietus]

[What's that? Someone in distress? A small elezen child(wonk) at that?

While Sidurgu might still be trying to get used to his hornlessness, and the balance issues that come with that, his hearing hasn't been terrible impacted from swap, much to Alphinaud's benefit.

Without missing a beat, Sidurgu releases his Sneasel onto the Rhyhorn, adequately distracting the monster from the tree. Taking the opening, he hurries to the trunk, looking up at Alphinaud, but staying aware of the fighting pokèmon not far from them.]

Climb down. We should take full advantage of the beast being distracted, whilst we can.

[stratezeitgeist]

Oh thanks the heavens!

[He gives a single, solemn nod as he moves to climb down with one arm- the other securely around his dear pet. He tries to land on his feet with decorum, but between his bruises and awkward angling, his grip slips off the branch and he comes crashing down, ass first.]

Oh, no—

[equietus]

[Alphinaud can give his praises to Thaliak, because Sidurgu happens to have some baller reflexes. The moment he sees the boy slip, he positions himself under him, arms open ready to catch him—

—and catch him he did. Even if it's not exactly the most heroic, or dignified, of ways. With a step too far forward, Alphinaud's ass did not land gracefully in the air, with an arm behind Alphinaud's back and one under his knees as Sidurgu planned—oh no, that would be far too kind. Instead, Alphinaud's supple young buttocks asschecked Sidurgu right in the face, while knocking the man backwards. His body splaying on the ground with an unceremonious flourish.

At least he broke Alphinaud's fall, it's poor fortune that it was Sidurgu's pride that played the part of the cushion.]

[stratezeitgeist]

[His heart drops out of him the moment he realizes what's happening. The moment they hit the ground, Alphinaud rolls off him, still bracing an arm protectively around the Eevee.]

Beg pardon! Are you alright?!

[He wasn't sure how he was going to live this one down. First getting chased up a tree, then falling out of it with his ass in a stranger's face. Oh no, no. This couldn't be much worse.]

[equietus]

[Couldn't be worse, huh? How about that Rhyhorn charging directly at them because it missed Sidurgu's sneasel?

Fortunately, Sidurgu can prioritize survival over most things, so once he's able to shake off the daze of being knocked down by 65lb boy-ass, he rises to his feet and grabs Alphinaud by the back of his shirt; effectively dragging him like a mother cat would her kitten behind the tree—just ilms out of the way of the rampaging pokèmon.

It takes but a moment for the sneasel to get its attention once more, and just as much time for the humiliation to sink back in.]

I'm bloody fine.

[There's an edge to his voice. A hint that he might not be the most patient of saviors.

A momentary pause as he looks beyond the tree, at the fight just a few yalms away. Then, quietly:]

If you never mention it, neither will I. We have far worse things to worry about right now, than that exasperating blunder.

[stratezeitgeist]

Right. [The agreement to never allow this moment to pass to another soothes his own ego somewhat, though it is plenty injured by being dragged around by the shirt.]

[Alphinaud's eyes quickly scan their surroundings. What options were available here? Climbing up another tree would be a disaster. The Rhyhorn was fast enough that outrunning it would be foolish. Defeating it might be the only choice.]

...I do have one other option available to me, but it is not... ideal. [He pulls a pokéball from his waist, releasing his Stunky. Immediately, a stench fills the air as the creature's paws hit the ground.] Go forth! Unleash your repelling odor upon our enemy!

[equietus]

[Look, kids don't get things like dignity, that's earned once they grow up!! Sidurgu's pride is the only one that took any damage, Alphinaud probably hasn't even learned what shame is yet!]

Yeah, but don't worry I'm sure that—

[Before he could finish, Alphinaud let out his stunky, and Sidurgu could feel seeping regret fill him. Well, almost. Not only did he get assaulted by a kid's ass, but now his stinky ass pokèmon? If only he could handle this on his own, without the aid of these monsters...

The sneasel, however, is not a fan of his newly added partner. As he fires off an ice wind, slowing the rhyhorn down while simultaneously doing a good deal of damage (type advantages yo), it leaps back out of the range of the stunky. But lets be real, unless you're a good mile away, you are not out of the range of a stunky.]

Is that truly all you have to offer in this fight?

[he asks, but then his eyes fall to the eevee that Alphinaud has been protectively holding, and he feels his question has been answered. Ugh.]

[stratezeitgeist]

Unfortunately, yes. But he is an effective measure. Go, spray our enemy! Make him regret his transgressions against us!

[The Stunky is decently obedient, turning to properly stunk the Rhyhorn. Even as the Stunky was released, the Rhyhorn became uneasy. One spray was all it took to send the enemy Rhyhorn for the bushes.]

[The forest grows loud with flight, then quiet, as the remaining creatures in the area fled the horrendous stench. Alphinaud braces himself against a tree, repressing his retching. He quickly calls the Stunky back, doing little to reduce the odor now that it had fired one off.]

[What a way to live. He stands a bit taller, trying to regain his composure.]

Mine apologies. I hope you are faring a bit better than myself. I should make haste to leave the area, at least I shouldn't encounter aught else before I reach town.

[equietus]

[Sidurgu's Sneasel vacates the immediately area of the Rhyhorn as quickly as possible, slinking over to their position to avoid the spray of that foul odor. Though, not the odor itself, mainly because it's hardly feasible without vacating the mile radius in which they were at the center of.

So, it scratches at Sidurgu's leg, begging to be put back into its ball, to which Sidurgu obliges while he's gagging and coughing from the horrendous smell. He feels rather blessed to not be burdened with such a thing...]

Pray, let us be off then—[a pause as he stops himself from retching mid-speech]—little do you need to be chased up another tree, nor should you be made to rely on that bloody thing again...

[This is Sidurgu offering to be your body guard till the next town. Because, he can't very well let this kid go off on his own, and also if he can keep that thing from ever being released again, Halone help him, he will.]