ohmyarceus | MARCH - APRIL TEST DRIVE MEME

[These kids and their...hashtags and selfies...and text. How things changed from the 90s.

...They really don't say "my sponge in the sky" but Eridan is an alien so this kid must be too.]

Don't worry about it, either way I couldn't possibly miss a Snorlax. I'll be there soon.

I'd like to keep talking though just to be sure you haven't lost consciousness, if that's all right? Why don't we start with your name? Mine's Botan.

(By the way you are definitely absolutely not a bother.)

of course its fair dont forget your place here
youre requestin your better to take time outta his BUSY night to savve your meaningless existence
its only fair that you spend wwhat short remainder of your life servvin me proper
wwhat is xully and finny are they your pokemon or somethin

[what a coincidence it's the 90s too! well on an alien planet but still]

oh yes i am trying to stay conscious i have had a lot of training and practice but im still a useless grub at it by comparison
my nubs are starting to feel like bileslaw from the weight of the snorlaX X:D
sorry you asked for my name not about my nubs
my name is Xefros X:D nice to meet you botan sorry you have to help me

oh no i am definitely a bother sorry if i was more capable i wouldnt be needing to bother you with all of this

i thought my place was trainin these slowbeasts since this doesnt look like alternia anymore X:(
sorry for the assumption

Xully and finny are my beasts and they are trying to help me too but they are pretty slow
well Xully is slow finny is flopping around but he is trying his best X:)
i am used to this kind of help but at this rate i will probably die from these Xcruliating circumstances

thats the place of those wwho aint dumb enough to get themselvves stuck under a snorlax
youvve forfeited your right to that by needin to be savved
you gutterbloods I swwear left alone for a fuckin second and youre gettin yourself culled pretty pathetic imo

wwell youd be of no use to be in this wworld if your beasts are shit so thats fine
tell me wwhere you are but in the meantime heres a possible solution before you lose your bloody nub
use your beast to attack the snorlax it cant bloody sleep while bein attacked and thus youll be freed
wwish i could say im surprised you didnt think of that on your owwn but that sponge of yours is runnin off inferior blood so

X:( we dont need Xtra help we are pretty capable i think lots of culling is all for fun from the higherbloods or um they make a good selfie backdrop for the heiress but i am not an expert on the subject i just listen to what my moirail tells me
he seems pretty knowledgeable on this kind of stuff X:) i miss him X:(
but if i cant train them anymore whos going to train Xully and finny?

Xully is trying but this snorlaX is dead set on his nap and Xully is looking ready to sleep again himself
i dont even think finny has the capacity to attack anyone hes so sweet X:D hes doing a good job keeping up the morale here though maybe thats from the lack of blood gushing in my frond now X:D

you WWILL train them
but only under my command and not all on your owwn cuz clearly you aint bloody capable of bein tasked with freedom
also wwho the fuck is your moirail
actually nevvermind i dont wwanna knoww and quite frankly it doesnt matter cuz hes not here and might nevver be so you basically dont havve a moirail

[Eridan might be a lil touchy over the subject of moirails, oops.]

wwoww
your beasts sound about as useless as you
alright wwhere are you so i can come and savve your pathetic ass

[oopsie.]

D:X hell never ever be here
but tetrarch cares about me X:) even if hes not here hes probably out there doing the good work as hed say
er i probably shouldnt have said that sorry
please disregard everything i said

oh right i was supposed to tell you my location
well i think im on route X but it could also be route 16 because i was too Xcited about these beasts its like fiduspawn came to life X:)
i am aware that sounds Xtremely pathetic
sorry for all of this

Yeah? Okay. Good. Are there a lot of people around here who'd theoretically know about taking care of them?

[A strangely accusatory finger is pointed at the screen]

You. Are you some kinda Pokemon expert?

[NETWORK]

Question.

_{[JW doesn't bother with a greeting or an introduction. He's seated in what appears to be a Pokemon Center and his Doduo's heads peer curiously over either of his shoulders.]}

How do I delete somebody else's post?

[ACTION-On Some Random Route]

_{[It's evening and JW has stopped traveling for the day. Camp is pitched and a small canned fire is burning, but there is still work to be done. He has set the scene for two of his Pokemon. There are fake flowers scattered on the grass, a nice pillow that was absolutely stolen from the last hotel he stayed in, and even a few meant-for-human chocolates on said pillow. The critters in the scene are a disinterested-looking Doduo and a fidgety Farfetch'd. The Farfetched sits on the pillow twirling her leek while the Doduo squabbles with itself over one of the fake flowers.]

[JW stands nearby, arms folded. He's read the book cover to cover. This is how it's supposed to work.]}

C'mon! We're wasting daylight and if I don't have eggs to sell by the time we hit town, I'm going to be sleeping outside again!

_{[In response to this, the Doduo's heads share a look and then look to the Farfetch'd who is pretending to be somewhere else. JW grows impatient and snatches up one of the fake flowers before throwing it at the Pokemon.]}

HURRY UP YOU THREE! I WANNA WITNESS A MIRACLE!

Noooo, no no. That's not how you do it.

[Who the fuck is this guy? He sure did just appear out of the trees, an unimpressed-looking Drowzee at his side. Probably drawn by the fire. Probably hoping the fire belonged to a hot babe. But this is fine too.]

You're going about it all wrong, pal.

_{[um excuse u JW is very attractive]

[He whips around and makes a noise that's only slightly masked by the twin squawks of surprise given off by Skipper and Gilligan. JW narrows his eyes as this know-it-all moseys his way right up into his camp.]}

The fuck are you supposed to be?

Oh, my name's Larry. Larry Laffer.

[Insert that trademark awful giggle. The Drowzee rolls its eyes conspicuously.]

And I, uh, know a little something about love. So you're lucky I'm here, huh?

[His eyes sweep over JW's camp. Let's just see what's lying around. No reason. Definitely not going to try to take any of it if he gets the chance, not at all.]

_{[JW kept his eyes narrowed and stood tall and still like an irritated scopes owl as he took in this...being. That had walked into the firelight.]

[JW's camp is modest, what with him being a newbie trainer and all. His bedroll is out. There are some rations leaned against his bag, and of course the makings of his fire pit.]}

Look, Runty, if you're lookin' to make a buck, you're fresh outta luck. Why do you think I'm doing this in the first place?

['Runty' is honestly one of the nicer things Larry's been called in his long life of being being called unflattering things. It kinda just rolls off the polyester at this point.]

Oh, my friend, you misunderstand me! [He puts a hand to his heart. Look how sincere he is.] I'm offering my advice based on years of experience at no cost whatsoever!

[A faint deep, male voice says experience with what? in the most deadpan tone possible. Larry waves a hand at his Drowzee. Shut up, Narrator, he's about to close the deal here!]

But if you wanted to let me and my friend here share your fire, well, that'd just be real kind of you, wouldn't it?

_{[James sloooowly tilts his head as he considers Larry's offer. He's not too proud to admit he needs help right now. He's in a weird world full of weird animals that he REFUSED to call Pokeymon and he needed to make them do the fuck if he was going to make enough money to live in this place.]

[But then he heard THE VOICE and it startled him right out of his lean. He set his teeth in a snarl and rubbernecked in search of what was obviously yet another intruder.]}

Is it NORMAL for this many people to be in the woods? Where the hell were yall when I skin't my knee, huh? COME OUT!

_{[Zoro promptly decides that she isn't in the mood to deal with either of these clowns and left her pillow behind to waddle over to the fire, but not without giving the Drowzee a quirk of her very very good eyebrows.]}

[Zoro is the only person here who has any sense, probably.]

Oh, no, see, that's just my buddy here. He's one of those psychics, y'know.

[He wiggles his fingers in a way that is clearly supposed to demonstrate how psychic his psychic type is. The Drowzee's expression gets more and more withering by the second.]

'Buddy' is a strong word. I'm just responsible for making sure this buffoon doesn't get himself killed sticking his over-large nose where it doesn't belong.

He's such a kidder, this guy!

_{[With his attention now squarely on Narrator, he all but ignores Larry's words. Narrator sounded...pretty dang sentient. His mismatched eyes slide back to Gilligan and Skipper who are now trying to eat the pillow that Zoro abandoned.]

[Maybe the Psychic ones were just extra smart. Maybe he...shouldn't get any of those. He's not sure he can handle another Deuteronomy right now.]}

Gotcha. Well. Ugh, whatever. Fine. You stay on your side of the fire and I'll listen to whatever you've got to say.

_{[Meaning he would probably listen to Narrator instead.]}

[The network option]

[What a beautiful ocean shot--looks like Cherrygrove's shoreline. The view pans down to show...a Wimpod skittering around in circles. What's it doing?

Whoever's holding the camera seems to have the same question as a giggle is heard off-screen.]

Is that you cleaning the beach, Zoomba?

[As if to answer her question the Wimpod stops, showing off the fruits of its labor: a nice and shiny seashell. The camera holder gasps and reaches out to take it, eventually turning the camera on herself--surprise, it's Xion. She seems...well, quite healthy for having been gone and as of a few days ago very dead and in oblivion. Happy, even, as she turns her gaze back to the camera with a smile.]

Uh--hey! I'm back. I guess I forgot to say anything. It doesn't really matter much, right? [Click click click says Zoomba.] Yeah, I know, we need to find more shells right away. Don't worry, Zoomba!

[The action option]

[Xion can be found on any route or any place that there's water, of course. She'll be fishing or watching her Wimpod skitter around trying to figure out of it should swim or not. It's all very peaceful, and they both look content Gross.]

[The I don't know wildcard option]

[You need a clone girl, there's a clone girl.]

[Of all the people he was expecting to see on the network...Vanitas hadn't been expecting to see her. Not after her disappearance. He knew it meant that she went home and while he'd been told sometimes people come back...

He manages to look disinterested, rolling his eyes with a scoff as he props his chin in his hand. Flood is perched on his shoulder looking extremely pleased as she giggles and waves at Xion. You're back!!]

Zoomba? What the hell kind of name is that?

[About time.]

Hi, Vani--missed you, too.

[She says that without skipping a beat, waving back at Flood with a smile.]

Zoomba's amazing, she's like a little vacuum and she moves really fast. You don't have to be jealous of her.

[Vanitas just scoffs.]

I didn't miss you.

I did, I did!

[The Phantump giggled again and pushed at Vani's head before pretending to lean close to the 'gear.]

So did he!

Shut up, brat. And I'm not jealous of your vacuum bug.

Aww, is big bro still shy about his feelings? Come on, it's just me, I won't tell anyone you had one whole feeling.

[Or, she won't until it's prime to embarrass Vanitas, much like Flood is doing now. Proud of u, small ghost, keep pushing the edgelord.]

You should be, she's the best vacuum bug. She can find shells better than anyone.

[Alex meanwhile is in the woods. Her own pokemon is LOCKED IN THE BALL WHERE IT WILL STAY FOREVER. BECAUSE IT'S EVIL.]

Aw, that's cute. Are you going to make a castle out of them.....can you even make a seashell castle?

I've never tried that before, but a castle sounds really cool. I usually make bracelets and stuff from seashells.

[But it's not a castle. She sits down on the sand to be at level with Zoomba, focusing the camera fully on it now.]

What do you think, Zoomba? Wanna be queen of Cherrygrove shore castle?

[It's a girl vacuum bug, okay. She also looks delighted by the idea, rearing up and wiggling her many little feet.]

MARCH - APRIL TEST DRIVE MEME

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Video (sorry for the sporadic tagging RL has been hectic this week ah)

JW | Original Character

[ACTION]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Xion | Kingdom Hearts

Network - Video | Private

no subject

no subject

no subject

Network

no subject