ohmyarceus | JULY - AUGUST TEST DRIVE MEME

[G'rhyf blinks in surprise when Litten jumps up onto their shoulder, watching them settle before huffing out a soft laugh. Little brat, huh?]

I don't know, I think they're missing out with being so picky, myself. [They cast G'raha a little grin, nudging their knee against his. Litten does get a little scratch behind the ears, though.]

[Hmm, yes, scritch them more strange human, you have been granted the allowance.

G'raha chuckles softly, ducking his head down, but G'rhyf can likely catch the soft pink that blooms on his cheeks.] Perhaps it is, ah...a matter of perspective, then.

[Look he can accept they're both going to hype each other up like this, even if G'raha's never going to quite feel like he deserves it. It's nice to hear and nice to cherish.]

[Is it really hyping him up, if they've only ever spoken the truth?]

...yeah, I guess it is.

[Seeing G'raha's blush has G'rhyf suddenly fighting a lump in their throat, and for lack of better words they reach over to put their hand over his. A pink tinge has taken over their own face, and they slow blink with a small, shy smile.]

[The touch makes his ears twitch in attention - towards G'rhyf - and the hand that takes his is squeezed softly in return.]

...You know...as much as I have always wanted to go on a grand adventure...I truly am grateful that I get to go on this one with you.

I am, too. [They can feel their words nearly catch in their throat, a nervous warmth tingling under their skin, and they squeeze back.] I have to admit, I'm glad to have something I can share just with you. Mayhap it's selfish, but...I'd truly hoped that our first adventure together would be like this. Just you and me, and a mystery to uncover.

[They did? Really?

His heart buoyes at the thought.]

Then I shall have to endeavor not to disappoint.

[It might not be the most grand or life-changing adventure G'rhyf has ever taken part in, but if G'raha can make it one of the most memorable, then...could he truly want for anything else?

(He might want for other things; he could admit that a touch of the headstrong boy he was will always be with him, certain he could pluck the stars from the heavens.)]

[They laugh and shake their head.] I can't imagine how you could!

[And truly, he never could. They love him, all his faults and virtues, all the little pieces that make up the whole of who he is. And every day they still learn ever more about him, tiny details that fill in the gaps of his image they'd not even known were there. Saving the world, fighting gods, that had a thrill to be sure. But nothing could ever replace the joy of being at his side.]

[On impulse G'rhyf leans forward, catching G'raha's lips in a soft, brief kiss. They pull back with a bright blush and an embarrassed smile, forcing down a flash of panic that they'd pushed too far.]

[G'raha doesn't have but the briefest of moments to contemplate just how he could, somehow, disappoint, before G'rhyf's lips meet his, and he - he gasps softly in surprise, for it feels as though all the breath in his lungs has left him just from the contact of lips upon lips.

And that smile.

That blush and that smile would undo him, every time. It was more than just seeing a side of the Warrior of Light that no one else could have - it was seeing G'rhyf in ways not many might see, and sharing that feeling, being in that feeling together. Together, when a younger G'raha thought he would always be alone, and an older Exarch had done his best to make peace with that loneliness so long as he could follow through.

G'raha Tia, here and now, would take not a single heartbeat of time for granted.

So, G'rhyf has time for a breath before G'raha chases those lips with his own, kissing back. A little firmer, but no less brief or shy, just a brush of something that said yes. Yes to this, and to him, and to them - yes.]

[They make a soft sound of surprise when he closes the distance between them again, though G'rhyf is quick and eager to return the kiss. He steals away their breath, and it feels as if their heart would swell to bursting within their chest--knowing that he felt the same, that he would trust them with something so precious.]
[Even after they had failed him in the worst way possible, leaving him so bleak a future to awaken within.]
[Words nearly fail them in that moment afterward, looking into ruby-red eyes so warm and kind, their hand shifting to hold his just a little more firmly. They've never been one for speeches or great proclamations, despite their erstwhile profession; it was far easier to simply be the symbol, to let others look upon them and see what they needed to hold onto hope. And especially now, in moments like these...no words could truly express the whole of their heart, what G'raha meant to them. Warmth, comfort, home...safety. Could anything they spoke ever be enough?]

I love you, Raha.

[They say it in a whisper, just barely loud enough to hear. It's a horrible thing, how scared they are to speak it into the world, make it real. So often the world tore away those they held dear, and they'd already lost G'raha to fate's cruel mercies before. Irrational, an illogical thing, they knew, and yet...]

[He has not felt so keenly the loss of his ears and tail as in that moment - his ears ought to twitch and swivel towards G'rhyf, as if they could hear those words again and again. His tail ought to sway and curl. So much more of him should express and emote and feel what he's feeling.

What he's got will have to do - the warm shine that comes to his eyes, the hitch of his breath, the heat in his cheeks...

G'raha has never entertained the idea of hearing those words from someone else. Not like this. And to even presume them from G'rhyf was something he never once allowed himself, no matter how much he might've yearned in those private moments, in the wee hours of dawn when his thoughts were his only company.

His hands come up to cup their face, gentle, reverent.]

I...

[Oh, it's scary to even go this far. But there's a thrill in it. G'raha presses his forehead to theirs, the tip of his nose to theirs. His voice is soft, low, just for the two of them.]

Rhyf, I love you, too.

[It's amazing, how such simple things could mean so much. His hands leave a tingle on their skin, the press of his head to theirs too much and not enough at once. They want to cant their ears to listen to every sound, to curl their tail around him, to pull him close and bury their face against him and never let go. Even were their body as it ought to, there's just too much emotion within them to ever hold.]

[And then he says their name, and they nearly come undone.]

[G'rhyf's breath catches in their throat, tears pricking in their eyes, and their throat tightens against--what, they don't know. A sob of relief, an apology, a litany of gratitude...it all tangles up into a storm that could sweep them away in a moment, words blown away in an unforgiving gale. But they have to do something, have to show him--]

[Their hands reach to rest at G'raha's waist, hesitant for a moment before G'rhyf finds their resolve and wraps their arms around him properly to pull him close. Hells with it, who on this or any star could judge them for this? For leaning into his touch, closing their eyes to lose themself in this moment?]

Thank you...Raha, thank you...

Edited 2021-10-06 09:17 (UTC)

[Ah-

They're crying, and there's a flicker of worry, deep and sharp - had he misstepped? Misinterpreted? His thumbs come up to brush the wetness gathering at the corners of their eyes as G'rhyf embraces him, and he gasps, the thrill of the touch and the surprise catching him off-guard. But oh, he lets it soak into him, this closeness...so, so much more than he would have asked for or expected.]

Rhyf, there's...you needn't thank me. [He ought to be the one thanking them.] I'm merely following my heart.

[For the first time in ages, he is free to do so, and he shall, asserts his thoughts, as his arms shift down to return G'rhyf's embrace.]

[G'rhyf shakes their head, the motion slight and brief, and takes a few deep breaths to try and steady themself. Focusing on the feeling of G'raha's arms around them, the sound of his breathing.]

But that it would lead you to me...even after everything you've been through. [They open their eyes, blinking quickly to try and clear the wetness and only partly succeeding. Gods, they must look a mess--red face and weepy eyes over something they've been wishing for for so long now. G'rhyf scrubs at their eyes with one hand to wipe away at least some of it, anxious tension clear in their movements; they don't want to make this all about them.] I--I'm sorry, I know I'm being ridiculous...

I can't imagine it leading me anywhere else.

[After all he's done and seen, across lifetimes, space and time and bodies and souls, G'rhyf being at the end of that long road (or would it simply be a place to stop and rest along the journey, to continue on in company rather than alone or letting the road drop off to its end?) made the most sense. Even if the warmth in his chest was not nearly as strong as it was, even if they were fated only to be friends, G'raha can't consider a future that G'rhyf isn't part of. It just wasn't how things could ever be.

He pulls back slightly only to help G'rhyf wipe those tears away.]

It's fine, don't - please, don't apologize. If this is how you're feeling...should you not express it?

I--

[G'rhyf laughs weakly, leaning unconsciously into his touch. The hand at their eyes moves to rest on G'raha's arm, and the other tightens just a little bit into the fabric of his vest.]

...I was scared. Scared you'd find some part of me that proved I wasn't enough, or that--that as soon as I said anything, something would take you from me again. Or if you didn't feel the same and I just soured it all, or...any number of things. I felt like anything I might do would ruin this.

[The shy twining of their hands, tails brushing together by calculated chance. The way his ears wiggled in his delight, the sound of his laughter in voices both tired and so very bright. They remember the soft, worn smiles he gave as the Exarch and their heart twists once more--had he suspected? Held a flame of hope in his chest, to the very end?]

I'm so sorry it took me this long to say it.

[See, there's a thing about G'raha Tia - a duality that has persisted within him. A desire to be what is needed, and a persistent thought that he could never be enough. It's nothing unique to him, but it is there at his core, attitudes entertwined and at-odds even now, with so much he has seen and experienced. With so much that could be expected of him in the future.

There's still some of that with G'rhyf, but it's not...it isn't...it finds kinship there, in the doubts voiced, and mellows somewhat. He's not the only one who's nervous. He's not the only one afraid to make one mistake and shatter it all.

He just. Sighs, softly. Brings his head forward again, to rest his forehead on their's. Because he wants to.]

If you are sorry, then I...I should apologize as well. No doubt my actions only made things more difficult for you.

[The secrets. The hiding. Right up until the end, pushing and trying and hoping beyond hope for the smallest sliver of G'rhyf's...anything, beyond just saving them and two worlds at once. He'd have taken anything, so long as it was offered. Even the barest whisper on the wind of a memory in the Warrior of Light's mind.

That didn't mean he hadn't been cruel, in a way. That didn't mean he thought he deserved a scrap of anything, let alone this.]

I intend to make up for it. All of it - lost time, and lost chances, because...I find myself feeling much the same.

[Oh. Of course.]

[G'rhyf lets out a soft breath, not quite a sigh but neither a laugh, and their eyes fall gently shut as they lean their head into his.]

We really are just a pair of fools, aren't we?

[Maybe that's why it feels so right, to be here at his side.]

[Never, never would G'rhyf have blamed him for hiding himself the way he had. The force of a hundred years of habit, a century holding the weight of his burden--they knew only too well how those things could scar, leave behind fractures in the better parts of yourself. They both danced around the truth of what was between them for this long, coy and guarded and neither daring to hope...what a pair they made.]

[At least now they can start a dance that won't leave them both in heartache.]

[They reach up again, brushing the backs of their fingers against G'raha's cheek before leaning in for another kiss. They let it linger a while longer than the others, and pull back again with a warm, loving smile.]

We'll make it up together. Now, and...as long as you'll have me at your side.

Perhaps so.

[But he's okay with that. He's okay with being a fool, if it means he's with someone who's charted his course for so long.

And he's certainly okay with foolishness if it means more of this. More closeness, more gentleness, more...more than he deserved and more than he'd ever dared to dream of. He sighs into the kiss, meeting it softly, eagerly.]

I...would stay for as long as you would have me.

[For as long as he still drew breath, if G'rhyf let him.]

[G'rhyf leans to let their noses touch again, heart light and fluttering in their chest. G'raha is so...it's cute, his hesitance and soft kindness, how he nearly asks permission to say he wants a lifetime at their side. It hurts in turn, of course, that he thinks he needs to ask at all, and they resolve in that moment to silence that doubt in his heart. No matter how long it took.]

I've no intention to ever let you go.

[...then a piece of phrasing comes to mind, and their smile grows a touch embarrassed.] ...ah, metaphorically I mean. I, um, I probably shouldn't carry you everywhere.

[~~Unless...?~~]

[Why wouldn't he ask? He couldn't just assume, that...G'rhyf's life should be about G'rhyf's choices, as much as they can do so. G'raha had done enough imposing. He wants to do this right.]

-!

[His stomach drops in that good way, the way that comes with the thrill of leaping across a chasm or down from incredible heights, with the rush of wind and the anticipation of a successful landing tingling in his limbs.

I've no intention to ever let you go.

Please, he wants to say. Please don't ever let go.]

A-Ahah, well...yes, that might be inconvenient, wouldn't it? I am no longer residing in a, um, pocket-sized vessel, after all?

[Just make a joke it's fine just joke about it, it's fine, ignore how deep that flush goes on his cheeks it's fine]

[A laugh bubbles out of them, weak with relief and...just. All of the emotions they've barreled through in the past few minutes. They feel like they should be exhausted from it, but they're just giddy. A spark of mischief lights in their eyes, and they can't help but grin.]

Perhaps a bit! But then...

[G'raha doesn't get much more warning before G'rhyf shifts to quickly scoop him up into a bridal carry, popping up to their feet and smiling their fool head off.]

A hypothesis has to be tested first, right?

[The sound G'raha makes is undignified and startled, and he wiggles a bit out of shock, but not enough for G'rhyf to lose hold of him.]

A - A hypothe - Rhyf!!!

[Water u doin to him where we goin]

[G'rhyf laughs and spins around for a moment before they start pacing around the clearing, hefting G'raha a few times as if testing his weight.]

Hmm, not terribly heavy, and easy to carry besides... [They meet G'raha's eyes, and while they're definitely trying to talk smooth here there's no hiding that they're blushing just as hard as he is.] Though I might have trouble keeping my eyes on the road!

[ohgodthatlinewassodumbwhataretheydoingaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Gods take him now, his entire face and neck must be just as red as his hair.]

C-Come now! You're just...I h-have full faith in your abilities to...

My ability to...?

[G'rhyf can't stop a helpless little giggle, leaning to touch noses with G'raha again.]

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goobers. losers. i love them both.