ohmyarceus | MISTLETOE MEME!

MISTLETOE MEME!

It's December guys! You know what this calls for:

A MISTLETOE MEME!

On purpose, by accident, accidentally on purpose...either way, you're under the mistletoe and you're going nowhere until there's been a kiss. Blame social standards, peer pressure...or magic. Pokemon magic. Of course it just be a peck on the cheek. Or not...winkwink~

Happy Holidays everyone!

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Has anybody ever told you that you're a shitty best friend before? Because you are.

[Jack crosses his arms and gives Rhys a dry look. He lifts an eyebrow, cocking his head at Rhys as he goes on.]

....wow. Ya know, kiddo, it says a lot about you that 'dressing up a pillow to make out with' is one of the first things you jumped to. I mean...wow.

I'd accuse you of sad virginity again but obviously I can't. Plus yu're way too good in bed to have never done it before. But...pillows? Really?

[Who the hell was Rhys dressing his pillows up like, anyway?]

I'm, I'm not shitty...[ That's not what Vaughn would say...

Rhys is trying to huff and puff and seem like a tough guy, but it's hard when your old boss is reminding you of past times you really don't want to remember. He's trying to get rid of this stupid goddamn mistletoe, but it's not working! Nothing is! ] And it's just a thing that came to mind. It doesn't mean anything!

A-and let's not...talk about that. Ever. I don't care.

What, uh, what about that lady from the gym that was checking you out? I'll give you the mistletoe, you go find her. Or I'll find her for you. How's that?

Except you kind of are? I mean...ya know I'm missing my wife. Ya know I'm far from home and trying to carve whatever kinda life I possibly can here. Ya know I'm dealing with a bunch of stress from people who've turned on me and want to make my life difficult....and I can't even joke around with ya, or get any kind of actual sympathy.

[Jack folds his arms, fixing Rhys with a pointed look.]

I just...I'm starting to feel like this whole thing is pretty one sided. I'm there for ya, I try and cheer ya up when I notice you're bummed out, I listen to ya and try and help with your problems...

I make a little joke about mistletoe with ya to ease my sad, hurting heart....and you're just concerned about the fact that...what? You enjoyed having a little one off fun with me? Or something?

Besides that, christ on a cracker, pumpkin, I'm married now. I'm not doing anything with any women that aren't my wife. One, she'd twist off my balls next time she sees me, two, I take marriage vows seriously. What the hell kind of dude do you think I am?

[ GUILT TRIP!

Rhys is quiet through Jack's whole speech, and wow, he is kind of a bad friend. Maybe Jack was just trying to poke some fun, and here was Rhys being mean and crazy, and tender about the fact that he did some questionable things the last time he got drunk. All when Nisha was gone. That wasn't cool. ]

S-sorry. I...didn't think about any of that.

[ Hook line and sinker? ] I didn't mean to piss you off.

...and after that baring of my god damned soul to you, that outpouring of honesty and vulnerability... [Wow Jack, way to be dramatic.] You think I'm pissed off. You think... ya'know, I really don't know how your brain works sometimes, Rhys. Does it work, or are you running on electric impulses and some sluglike survival instinct? Because most people would think 'oh, hey, I have clearly hurt my friend's feelings'.

[Jack throws his hands up. Seriously. What goes on behind those mismatched and unfairly pretty eyes of Rhys'? Does he understand how to friend? Does he know how friendships work?]

[Considering the last people he was calling his friends, maybe not. Maybe Rhys is just Friend Stupid.]

Because that's...you've hurt me, cupcake. My heart, you've stabbed at it, and other poetic expressions of dismay and....soul woundery....

You get what I mean.

[Most of that sounded awesome.]

[ Okay so just imagine a kicked puppy right now. That's Rhys.

Staring at his feet, shoulders slumped, maybe looking up with mismatched eyes to at least say he made eye contact once or twice during this episode. Jack is the definition of unpredictability, and this kind of just...shows it? Since y'know, Rhys wasn't sure whether he hurt his feelings, pissed him off, or worse. Both.

Thank god there's no airlocks here. ]

I, I get what you mean.

[ He looks up again, and I'm telling you kicked goddamn puppy look talk about soul woundery ] I uh, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I really didn't. And I'm sorry about everything else that's happened lately. [ It feels like he has to apologize, so. ]

I'll, um. I'll get something for us to eat for the house. To make up for the soul woundery. [ Rhys is trying to make this all stop while at the same time trying to avoid the subject of mistletoe... ]

Okay. But I hope that you're gonna take this little heart to heart to heart, ya dig? I'd hate to think that my best buddy wasn't as invested in this friendship as I am. That'd be a real bummer, doodlebug. For both of us.

[Jack's expression and tone might be all smiles and sunshine, but there's a dangerous tone underneath it all. He doesn't like it when he meets what he sees as resistance. And Rhys' behavior...it has gotten questionable. Not cool.]

[But hopefully Rhys gets the message.]

And I appreciate that gesture, that's real swell. I'm glad we got that all out there, ya know it's not healthy to bottle up your feelings. Leads to all kinds of unpleasant circumstances. Ulcers, insomnia...other stuff, whatever. [Jack chuckles a little darkly.] Anyway...

Chill.

[He leans over and smacks his mouth against Rhys' cheek, making an exaggerated kissing sound as he does.]

[ Rhys hears that in Jack's tone, and oh no. He doesn't want to hear that again. The last time Jack had such a warning tone in his voice, Rhys ended up getting strangled to the point where he passed out blank on his floor. Things just, just started getting better until now. What even started this?

Jack leans in to peck his cheek, and he doesn't move. Hands are at his sides, his gaze lowered. His face is redder than a tomato, but y'know. ]

I'll...I will.

D-do you need anything? I'm probably gonna...just go get takeout. Or something.

Oh, you should grab something from that burger joint over on Pikachu. I like that place, very generous with the pickles. I hate those fast food burgers that give you two measly little pickles - ya know, those thin, sick looking ones? What do those add to a burger? They're an insult!

[Clearly, Jack's moved on. He's satisfied that things are fine now, and Rhys is gonna clean up his act. He's a work in progress, that's all. He needs encouragement! Jack's more than happy to provide.]

[Good god, is he blushing over that?]

You're a weird dude, Rhys.

Yeah, I'll go get it. Won't take me long. [ Eesh, he'll make sure of it. And then maybe after that he'll take a nice, long walk to clear his head. And try to forget that when Jack got like this, it was at least nice to not share the same house with him.

He was gonna get going until Jack called him weird! That's rude... ]

Me? Why?

Oh kitten...there's so many answers to that, I don't even know where to start!

[Jack laughs and claps Rhys on the shoulder.]

I mean you're this big badass who's done all this surprisingly impressive stuff on Pandora, but you turn into a nervous wreck over the most mundane things! I can just give you the right look, and you're a mess! You've got the strangest bedroom double standards - I mean, I know what the inside of your mouth tastes like, but you still freak out if I mention anything close to sex. You're brilliant but you've got the common sense of a Pandoran house brick...

But no, no, ya know I love ya!

[Weirdness and all. And really, Jack could keep going. Rhys is one of a kind. Thank god. He doesn't think he could deal with two of them. One can be trying enough, depending what kind of mood the younger guy's in.]

[ Ugh, kitten. After recent events, Rhys is okay with never heard that nickname ever again.

My god, it's like Jack made a list. Where does Rhys even begin to try and justify himself? Should he event attempt it? The dangerous tone in Jack's voice still rings clear in his head, and he comes to the conclusion that attempting to try and prove anything wrong in the slightest it not a good idea. At all. ]

Sorry. I've, I've just...[ Rhys just shrugs. ] I'm going through a lot. I guess.

I'll work on fixing those things. How's that?

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MISTLETOE MEME!

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