ohmyarceus | Test Drive Meme

At least the Crustle is getting in trouble, which gets an impish grin creeping onto Joseph's face.

Until the Pokemon's name clicks.

Then he glances from Jotaro, to the Crustle, back to Jotaro, a few times. And the outrage is right back.

"What the hell, man? Did you name a crab after me? What the hell did I ever do to you!?"

His mechanical hand has started clicking, fingers jerking back and forth in ways that normal fingers really shouldn't. He can't use his Hamon, but oh it's so tempting to try and rearrange Jotaro's face even without it. Especially since Rush is also laughing at him, and doesn't stop even during the lecture.

The Crustle does plead with Jotaro but doesn't even get the satisfaction of watching Joseph realise his namesake. Jotaro returns Joe into his Pokeball and stashes the Pokeball in his pocket. He sighs but even before the concept of an apology can cross his mind, Joseph is already growling at him. Good grief, his grandfather really is a punk, isn't he?

Jotaro rolls his eyes.

"You're not special. I've named Pokemon after my friends and my father already." Wow, Jotaro. "And it's not because it's a crab. It's because it's a hermit crab. Like Hermit Purple." Wait, does his grandfather even have that power yet? No, he wouldn't, if it only manifested when Jotaro himself was a teenager.

"...It makes sense when you're actually my grandfather."

Edited 2025-04-04 14:44 (UTC)

He has to really process that for a few seconds, trying to make sense of it. Hermit Purple... hermit crabs.... um.... nope, he can't think of any connections. Jotaro must be right, that it will make sense in the future.

"But a crab?" He grumbles, "Why not something cool like a dog, or a dragon, or... anything else? And can you hand me my stupid lizard back?"

He reaches for Rush, and the Charmander hisses a warning, fully ready to breathe fire at him again.

"There's no such thing as a hermit dog. Or hermit dragon. That just makes no sense." Duh, Joseph. "And hermit crabs aren't even real crabs anyway. They're Anomura. True crabs have four pairs of walking legs. Hermit crabs only have three pairs that can walk, the fourth usually being too small to walk."

That, and crabs are definitely cool, excuse you, gramps.

"What did you do to piss this guy off anyway?" Jotaro asks as he pets the Charmander gently to calm it down. "They wouldn't attack you unless you gave them a good reason for it..."

Even as he gives a derisive snort, he is filing that information away. It's interesting trivia, even if he's annoyed by it in the moment.

"I don't know, he just came like that." Joseph rolls his eyes, but he does slow down and just offer his prosthetic hand for Rush to sniff. "That strange woman who handed him to me was handling him just fine, and then as soon as I grabbed him he got all pissy. He won't follow me so I had to drag him around, and he keeps getting loose and hiding."

Rush does sniff his hand, still hesitant but unable to fully shake the bond between trainer and Pokemon. But one of the mechanical fingers twitches suddenly, and he reacts by biting Joseph again.

"God damn it! See?"

"Well, for start, you grabbed him. If a strange man grabbed me, I would be upset. And if he dragged me around, I'd punch him to hell and back. Pokemon are not unlike children: while they can be reasoned with and talked to, they're usually just driven by animal instinct. You startled Rush so he bit you."

Jotaro sighs. He pulls the Charmander back gently but firmly, signalling to the Pokemon that he should probably let go of the metal.

"On the other end of the scale, have you tried to do anything to gain your Charmander's trust? Or have you just subjected it to your whims as usual?"

Rush releases Joseph's hand, although he's left a few minor dents in the metal. Joseph is going to have to find someone who can take a look at it soon, the way things are going - although he'd rather that than deal with a Charmander bite on his flesh.

"Okay, well, maybe I haven't put much effort into making friends with him. That just means I got the wrong pet, if he was a dog he'd just trust that I have good intentions."

This is a lie, and Joseph has definitely gotten bitten by dogs before. But he is at least taking Jotaro's feedback on board, even if he's struggling to put it into action.

"How am I supposed to get his trust? He's already impossible to handle... although he seems to like you just fine."

"Hmph. Doubt it. Some dogs can be real assholes," Jotaro says, smirking as he thinks of a certain coffee-loving dog.

"Well, you got off on the wrong foot. It's easy to like someone after you team up with them against a common enemy." Jotaro pauses and puts his bag down. "Get some berries out of there. Feed it to your Charmander. Peace offering and all."

Joseph hesitates, but does as he's told. He grabs a berry sort of at random at offers it to Rush, with his prosthetic hand just in case. The Charmander hesitates, but takes the berry and calms down a little bit more. Even if he keeps eyeing Joseph's hands suspiciously.

"I did hear 'Mom' mention something about them liking to battle - at least we have something in common, there."

Rush's eyes light up at the mention of battles, and he starts staring eagerly at Jotaro as if begging for one to start, with the tip of his tail wiggling excitedly.

"Well... Battling is the fastest way to build a bond with someone." Jotaro puts Rush down onto the floor. He would have passed him directly to Joseph but he figures that the Charmander should go to Joseph when he's ready.

"I'm guessing this is one of your first trainer battles then, Gramps," Jotaro says, digging into his pocket and taking a Pokeball out. "But I won't go easy on you. It's better to lose against me than humiliate yourself in a gym."

"Jean. Don't show mercy." Jotaro tosses a Pokeball out and out emerges a Scraggy. The Scraggy gives a lazy yawn and looks at Rush. So they're doing this?

Joseph moves back to give the Pokemon space, although he's watching Jean with the same open fascination he's been giving every new species. Rush was already wiggling out of Jotaro's arms when he's put down, and scrambles over to take his place in front of Joseph.

"Sure - my very first one, actually. So- give me a moment, would you?"

He has to open his Pokedex and figure out what the hell Rush can actually do. Please stand by... okay, got it.

"Rush, use Ember!"

Rush rolls his eyes, but Ember was already his plan anyway. And he's very eager to aim it at the Scraggy.

Jotaro patiently waits and his Scraggy stretches to wake up properly. Jean is about ready to go by the time the battle starts and as soon as Joseph gives the command, Jean lets loose his hidden ability, Intimidate.

"Close the distance between you two! Rock Smash, Jean, and stay close," Jotaro commands. The Scraggy gives a cry of affirmation and takes the Ember. He roars and bounds up to Rush, punching the Charmander square in the face.

Rush tries to dodge out of the way, but he's far too slow and the Rock Smash hits him directly. Joseph winces, but Rush does his best to shake it off.

"Alright, try another Ember-"

Nope, Rush isn't interested in instruction. He opts instead for a Growl, while backing up to try and make more room between himself and Jean.

"-that works, too."

"Hey! Don't back down! Leer and show it who's boss." The Scraggy winces with the Growl but takes strength from Jotaro's orders. It tenses and leers at the Rush. "No mercy. Use Strength!"

The lax Scraggy smirks at that and tenses. With a tremendous cry, it charges at Rush and slugs it as hard as it can with its fist.

Rush takes the hit, toppling to the ground with an angry hiss. He's still awake, but badly hurt. And this time he doesn't wait for a command, shaking himself off and breathing his best Ember at the Scraggy.

Joseph, meanwhile, has been trying to figure out a way to give Rush can edge... but without Hamon to heal him or a good understanding of the rules of combat to play around in, he ends up just having to let Rush handle himself. It is surprisingly stressful, to not be the one doing the fighting. He's just going to be busy checking his bag for the Potions Mom packed for him.

Jotaro looks up at Joseph and frowns. He can't blame the not-old man for scrambling but he did say he wasn't going to hold back. Jotaro shakes his head and turns his attention back on the Pokemon.

"Jean, watch your right!" Jotaro calls out. Jean pulls back instinctively. Rush's Ember still hit but the damage doesn't send the Scraggy sprawling back, even with Rush's ability likely flaring up. "Low kick!"

The Scraggy rushes forward one more time and does a football slide, tackling Rush's legs before slamming his head against Rush.

Rush just barely manages to dodge out of the way, stumbling as he does so. For the first time since the battle started, he glances back at Joseph, who crouches down to call him over. "Here - let me patch you up."

There's a moment of hesitation, where the Charmander glances at Jean and has to really consider before running over so Joseph can spritz him with the Potion. It lightens the bruises on his scaly skin, but it also seems to help his mood a bit. Rush finally checks in with Joseph, looking for instruction.

"Alright, try a Scratch - aim for his eyes."

"You're doing well. Make sure you keep on your toes," Jotaro calls to his Scraggy as it pants. Jotaro could heal Jean up too but he wanted this to be fair, especially for Joseph's first battle.

There's a moment where Jotaro hesitates. There was a strategically correct decision to make here. He knows a Counter here will do the trick... but at the same time, he's not that interested in beating his grandfather into the dirt. And that would be punishing Rush for listening to Joseph.

Jean looks back at Jotaro, looking for orders, and Jotaro makes his decision.

"You're better at close range than Rush is. Let him get close then use Payback!"

Payback. Joseph can make a few guesses about what that moves does, and only has a few seconds to decide how he wants to handle it.

"Hold on, stay back-"

The conflicting orders just make the Charmander hesitate, staying in place too close to dodge out of the way of the Scraggy's Payback. When he inevitably gets hit, Rush lets out a frustrated charrr! and just tries to bite Jean.

At least Rush's hesitance does stop Jean from getting the extra power boost as the Scraggy punches the Charmander square in the face. Jotaro frowns as he watches Rush disobey and sighs.

"Good grief. Now you can Counter, Jean."

Jean gives a triumphant yell and lets Rush hit him. Then, he turns and hoists Rush up before he slams him into the ground.

He is learning how this works, slowly but surely... although it's much harder to translate that into strategy for someone else. Joseph winces again as Rush gets hit, although the Charmander barely seems to care. Rush is struggling the whole way to the ground and tries to pop back up right after, although he's stumbling and dazed.

They're definitely not going to win. Even after the Potion, Rush has another hit or two left in him before he's unconscious. So the question becomes, should he give up now or keep pushing forward anyway?

"You've got this, Rush! Just one more Ember!"

No amount of bluffing is going to convince anyone in this room, but it's at least enough for Rush to obey him.

There's a learning curve and Joseph is doing well, all things considered. If Rush trusted Joseph a bit more, they could have easily won. Joseph is an expert strategist (not that Jotaro would admit it to him).

Joseph's doing the right thing, though. A loss will help them learn and a critical hit may win this for them, especially with Charmander's ability powering up its fire. But Jotaro points at Rush.

"Payback! Finish this!" Jean grits his teeth as he braces through the fire and then slams into Rush.

Rush tries to dodge out of the way, but he's too slow. He gets hit, and rolls tail over head before falling down unconscious at Joseph's feet. Joseph hesitates before picking him up - and grimacing at how uncomfortable it is to hold an animal that is completely limp.

"Good game." He's very frustrated, but manages to force an upbeat tone anyway. "I'll definitely get you next time."

Jotaro gives a tired sigh. However, he forces himself to smile when Jean looks back happily at him.

"You did great, Jean. Good job." The Scraggy beams proudly at Jotaro and lets Jotaro recall him to his Pokeball. With that done, Jotaro nods to Joseph.

"Good game. You're not bad for a beginner. A little experience and work with Rush, and you'll get there." Jotaro grabs a revive from his bag and offers it to Joseph.

"Use this to get Rush back up. You'll need to have a conscious Pokemon with you at all times in this world." Else you'll white out!

He is actually very thankful that Jotaro isn't rubbing the loss in - Jotaro's a better man than him, and Joseph can definitely appreciate that. He takes the revive, and his shoulders relax a bit when Rush wakes back up and immediately claws his way out of Joseph's grasp, even though it's also accompanied by a few quiet curses.

"...Thank you." He huffs quietly. "We'll definitely have to try this again later - I'll let you know when he cleans his ears out."

Rush is, at least, not hiding from him anymore. The Charmander has instead parked himself behind Joseph, making a point of not looking at Jotaro. Apparently he's taking the loss even worse.

Test Drive Meme - Spring 2025

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