ohmyarceus | Test Drive Meme

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Test Drive Meme - Spring 2025

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"He'll be hard to miss at least, you both look pretty similar." Like, same size similar.

Oh, anyway-

"Mn? Oh, yeah...a long while actually. It's part of what led me to build my Gym the way I did, lots of time to see people arrive in the middle of December without a tent," he notes.

Ahem. "Anyway- uh, 17. I'm 17 right now. Probably? ...Probably, it was hard to...guess, back where I was..."

"Right." Yeah, there was probably no good way to check his birthday in prison. Great topic choice, Jojo. "Well- if it helps, I think we're in a different month than it was back home, so I'm not sure when to put my birthday either. But I know I'm 18, at least for now."

It's not actually a huge jump. It was early June back home, and it's late March now. But he's doing his best to relate to someone who has had a clearly worse go of things.

"Well, I'm sure you know a lot about the Pokemon world, then. I mean, spending almost a third of your life here and all. I hope you don't mind me leaning on you for help while I get my bearings. And, er- if you know where to get more of whatever that food was you gave Rush, I'd greatly appreciate it."

Given Emporio's shrug, he's not too bushed about it. "We're in the start of April, so possibly? I was close enough to the month it had been for me when I arrived here that I just kept the birthday I came up with...I'd say worst case, just stick with what's easy to remember?"

He does grin a bit, though. "Heh, seems we're pretty close in age though huh? ...And well, it's like I said, this place is here for a reason right? Not much in the way of places to stay, but I can make some room in my boat for that. It's better to leave fully prepared than not at all I think."

...

Heh. "...And as for the poffins...you can actually learn to make those, if you want."

"That's very kind of you - and I'd love to take you up on it. I'll try my best to be a good house- or, boat-guest."

This, at least, is very genuine. Lisa Lisa has definitely kicked his ass into keeping his laundry off the floor and his dishes in the sink (although actually washing either of them is a different issue).

"And I'd love to learn how to make poffins, although... I don't know much about cooking in general, to be honest. But if it makes Rush more comfortable, I think it's worth the effort."

"Hehehe! I can show you where it is once I'm done here then! Or, mostly done anyway. I need to fly out to the end of the course later, so that I can be there for the challenger..."

Ahh, but before that. "Hmm...well, now that you're here, there's probably no better time? Uh, in general I mean. Once you're on the road, you'll have to cook for yourself after all- the towns are all days of travel apart, and even 'instant' meals need some input..."

"There are Pokemon big enough to fly on?"

At least he assumes Emporio can't just do that.

Even more importantly, his eyes light up at the mention of instant meals. He gets the sense that he's about to discover something wonderful about the future.

"Right, right... when you say 'instant meals', what exactly does that mean? Not meals in a can, I assume."

"Oh yeah! Plenty, actually."

So many.

"Your charmander should eventually get that big even- once he becomes a Charizard, that is. I can-"

Can, what? Whatever it is, Emporio cuts short, blinking at Joseph for a moment.

"....oh huh...that's right, 1938 would be..." He furrows his brows, thinking it over. "Yeah, cans were about as good as that got. ...Hehe. I guess I get to show you what an MRE is then!" he cheers, "...but for real, you don't want to rely on those, it's pretty much the same as relying on meals in a can..."

The gears have to turn for a while, but he settles into the best guess he can manage. "What, like war rations?"

It sounds about right - they are for traveling and cooking on the go, after all. And it does make the idea of instant meals a lot less exciting. He'd been hoping for something more along the lines of 'instant burger, just add water'.

"Oh, well... I guess I'll have to cook either way. At least if I can get Rush to cooperate, I won't have to carry a camp stove around."

"Oh huh, good guess." He's a bit impressed.

"Yeah- Meals-Ready to-Eat. They're a good bit better than the cans but uh..." He gives a bit of a laugh. "Still not there. Frozen dinners will probably be more exciting, but for obvious reasons, you really can't bring those reliably on the road," he laughs, moving to get his coat and things off the front counter.

"Up to you what we do first, as long as I get back here in time to fly out though; I can show you the camp food before or after showing you where I live."

And, by extension, where he'll be sleeping tonight.

Frozen dinners also sound like an exciting option, but definitely not while he's traveling. Maybe he'll be able to bring some back to the house-boat, while he's bumming off of Emporio.

"Let's see the camp food first - you've piqued my curiosity."

And Rush's - the Charmander had started perking up at the talk of more food, and now seems surprisingly willing to follow them around. He ends up climbing up Joseph's leg to get up to his shoulder, which doesn't hurt (much) but makes Joseph wince when one of his clawed feet digs into the bare skin on his lower back.

"Hehe, alright! That's an easy walk in that case- we're right in the store already after all."

Indeed, all the displays are...well, around them. So Emporio just gestures to them as he moves for the shelves with the food stock. "I keep a basic stock here; the idea isn't to make profits or sales or anything, it's about making sure people can be prepared heading out. That way, if they see a tent or something they like from another store they're not completely out of pocket, heh..."

Anyway, the food shelves! "Here we are! There's MREs as you can see," and he does hold out one such pack. "They're pretty self explanitory- there's instructions on the packs, everything's included...honestly, they're probably easier to throw together than some of the other stuff we stock," Emporio laughs.

And they do of course stock other things- obvious snack type protein bars aside, there's at least a few 'just add water' type meals- rice, ramen, biscuits and gravy...yum.

"A lot of it is freeze-dried, so it lasts...pretty much as long as you need, albeit with a cost."

The Cost is the Flavor.

Joseph takes one of the MREs and starts reading the instructions on the back, absolutely fascinated by it. They're much lighter than canned food, and have a lot more variety... even if they don't taste amazing, the effort required is worth that price.

"Freeze-drying? That's... incredible. If you can get rid of all the water content, then you don't have to carry around that extra weight..."

He holds one of the packets of freeze-dried food up for Rush to sniff. Which is a mistake, because Rush immediately bites it and rips the bag open so he can investigate the food (by eating it).

"Yep! It's really useful, and while it's nothing compared to..well, fresh food, it does the trick! They use it for astronaut food too-"

A thought occurs.

"............oh. ...They haven't been to space yet in '38..."

Right well, before he can really dive off on that tangent, he has to rush (heh) to stop Rush from actually eating the pack. "NO-! Don't, that's not safe if it's not prepared properly!!"

"Hey- you heard him, let it go!"

Rush hesitates, but he does understand what he's being told and lets it go. Although the bag is already mangled. Joseph inspects it carefully, and glances at Rush with a melodramatic sigh.

"For shame... you broke something and you have no money to buy it with."

He definitely hasn't forgotten about space travel, though, he's going to be dragging them back to that topic as soon as this is dealt with.

"Hahaha...well, we'll call it a demo-pack and put it on the house, how's that?" Emporio laughs easily now that he's at least certain Rush won't be making himself sick.

"Really, most of this isn't anything you necessarily have to pay for- no one arrives here with money, so it'd...kind of be cruel to do that?" The teen grimaces at the very idea. "It's definitely appreciated when people pay with something, but stuff like this runs on an honor system. And even with the bigger equipment, there's no deadline for payment- if you need a tent you...need a tent, you know? Which reminds me..."

Holding the pack still, he drums his fingers along the sides of it, looking over to a large bin of clothes.

"If I'm right, you have two outfits to your name right now and nothing else. Am I wrong?"

Wow, this place really is whimsical. He can't imagine being trusted with no deadline for payment back in New York, and he's definitely going to take full advantage of that. Although he's not going to say that.

"Um... yeah. I guess you have to pack lightly when you're traveling through time and space."

Like he has any idea how it works.

To be fair, the amount of people who actually show up here is really small.

He does crack a smile though. "Heh...something like that. Realistically, people don't wake up here that often; there's definitely other trainers who stop by, normally with more to spare for themselves but... ...well, everyone who wakes up here, has the same story to tell. Backpack with lunch, spare clothes, and a new pokemon. And dish soap, of course, but..."

He does not need to finish the statement.

"Anyway- what I'm saying is, if you want, that bin of clothes is there for a reason; it's all washed and dried, donated for people to take what they need."

Joseph pauses, training his face to not look ungrateful. Because of course, he's going to need some hand-outs while he's here, without the Joestar fortune to fall back on. And he's pretty sure Granny Erina would twist his ear off of she saw him turning down things he needs, just because they're free and pre-owned. So he hesitates, but does walk over to check it out.

"That's very thoughtful of you, keeping this around." And honestly, the whole Gym's concept is very thoughtful.

It does take some effort to find clothing that fits on his frame - he's pretty used to that back home, too. But he does manage to find a gem, too, a red-and-white jacket that reminds him vaguely of one he left back in Venice. If nothing else, it should help protect his midriff from Rush's claws.

Ahhhh, well. Emporio has to rub his head, a little flushed. "...It's...like I said right? Everyone starts the same way, and I was tired of seeing no one do anything."

He waits, while Joseph goes through the clothes. Makes sure the rest of the store is still in order, and so on. When Joseph does find the jacket, or whenever he draws attention back to himself, Emporio turns his head though.

"Oh hey! Nice find!" A jacket's a good idea right now after all- it's still pretty brisk in the twilight hours.

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Test Drive Meme - Spring 2025

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