TEST DRIVE MEME

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[Sasha hears the grass rustling, but for the moment, she ignores it because arguing with the Deerling seems to be more important. Besides, it's probably just another Pidgey that will get chased off as long as this Pokemon keeps shoving its snoot in her face.

Or rather, on her face, as it runs its cold wet nose across her jawline, making Sasha shudder in disgust.]

Ugh, stop that!

[She wipes the streak of Deerling spit off her cheek with her shirt sleeve, frowning all the way. Never has Sasha seen a creature so insistent on being so stubborn. Doesn't it know she's a hunter? The greatest hunter this side of Wall Maria? Doesn't it know that not only will she shove it into these tiny red and white balls people have given her for free, but she'll crack said ball open like an egg and fry the Deerling up?

She's considering various ways of how to get such a big creature inside such a small space when a flock of Pidgeys suddenly flutter up into the sky and far away from her and Deerling. It's almost like someone (or something) scared them off. This just adds to Sasha's frustration and her hand holding the Pokeball drops into her lap.]

Look at what you did now. I don't know what you did, but stop doing it. How am I supposed to catch another Pokemon if you keep scaring them off?

[Poor Deerling. It whines a bit because it's innocent! It's not whatever creep is lurking in the bushes!]

[They suspect nothing. The Deerling has perhaps gotten a prickle of fear, running up its spine, but the girl has no idea. Her senses are weak, like all humans, and she doesn't yet know of the legend of the Death Ball.]

[She will learn. But her knowledge will come at a great price, and her only solace will be the short amount of time she'll have to suffer.]

[The Death Ball shifts, starts to roll forward. He will even allow the grass to crunch and crackle under his rolling belly as he moves forward. He will be generous today, and give the girl and her Deerling a sporting chance. It will avail them not, but they've caught the Death Ball in a good mood today, and so their lives will be extended by a few minutes.]

[If the Deerling could talk, it would probably scream out a warning or five about the encroaching enemy in the grass, but alas, it doesn't aside from maybe its name and a bunch of snorts and whines. This works out terribly for Sasha for she has no clue what's about to happen to her. Her former life didn't train her to deal with strange creatures such as Pokemon.

The crunching pulls her attention away from Deerling and onto its source where Sasha glances over in the direction the sound has come from. The Pidgeys have all flown away so it can't be them (unless it's one slow Pidgey who doesn't realize his own kind has abandoned him.) Maybe it's a person? Another human who can tell her how to best handle a Pokemon that won't leave her alone?

But no, it's not a person, but a Pokeball? A pretty big one, one that looks big enough to fit a Deerling comfortably. Sasha glances at the small one in her hand and back at the ball somebody must have dropped and then back at Deerling. The choice is clear. Never turn down a freebie Pokeball.]

Well, look, if you're not going to listen to me, you can just get into this ball where you belong. It's bigger than the others so you'll have room in there.

[She's far too busy with lecturing Deerling on it's rude behavior to really see that this Pokeball has eyes. Eyes that are steely and watching her every move as she gets up to reach for it, unknowingly stepping into her own execution chamber. Someone please save her! She is a good person! She doesn't deserve this!]

[What? WHAT?! The fuck is going on here! She thinks the Death Ball is a Pokeball? A POKEBALL?!]

[The Death Ball crackles loudly, and the Deerling probably understands the several curses he spits at the human girl in Pokemon language. When the girl reaches out to touch him, the Death Ball unleashes a curse from the heavens, splitting the world asunder and proclaiming his vengeance on all those who would dare doubt him.]

[A line of electricity arcs from Blitz's surface to Sasha's hand and lands with a loud popping sound. No touch the Death Ball.]

[Well, if it looks like a Pokeball, rolls like a Pokeball, etc. and so on and so forth into infinity.

But the grumbling only comes a second before the zap, a second too late, and Sasha jumps back from the shock, eyes wide open.]

Owww.

[Deerling whines and stomps again, but this time, there's no complaining note to it. No, this time it sounds angry. How dare you hurt her human, you bootleg Pokeball?! Sure, said human has scolded her and hasn't really paid attention to her needs, but there's a learning process with these two legged creatures. That's not the point! The point is how very dare you!

Sasha shakes her hand, hoping to get that tingling feeling out of her fingers. That was weird. Maybe it was static electricity. Maybe it was... nope, she notices the eyes now. That is definitely not a Pokeball. It's so much not a Pokeball that Deerling cuts in between it and Sasha, looking like it wants a fight and for the moment Sasha lets her.]

What is that?!

[That's right, human, feel the wrath of the Death Ball! Try to touch it again, and you'll get more of the same!]

[Blitz narrows his eyes in a squint that should look very familiar to Sasha, considering who he learned it from. This is one very mouthy Deerling, standing up to the Death Ball in such a bold fashion. If the Death Ball were feeling merciful today, he'd let such insubordination stand.]

[He is not feeling merciful. The Death Ball is many things, but merciful is not among them.]

[Blitz lunges forward, readying an attack that would almost certainly one-shot the lower level Deerling, but he draws up short when someone shouts from behind him.]

Blitz, don't you dare!

[Blitz rocks back and rolls his eyes, turning and crackling grumpily at the human who spills out from the underbrush.]

You know the rules, unless the trainer challenges me you can't just go attacking whoever...

[Jean stops, his eyes widening as he sees exactly who Blitz had been menacing.]

Sasha?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

March-April Test Drive Meme

TEST DRIVE MEME

action; o shit it's the deathball! have mercy, deathball!

action; the deathball is not familiar with this concept of mercy

action; deathball please. you aren't as much of a badass as you're convinced you are

action; YES HE IS YOU KNOW NOTHING

action;

action;