ohmyarceus | JANUARY - FEBRUARY TEST DRIVE MEME

♥ ONE || ACTION

[ It can be pretty rough out there on the roads between towns, all tall grass, trainers, and wild pokemon. Generally if you have a good head on your shoulders and a solid team to back you up, there's nothing to worry about!
Well. Almost nothing.

There's a scuffle going on further into the treeline - a lot of PG-13 yelling at the tamest - so loud as to scare off a lot of the wild pokemon population.

A little further in and there's quite the scene: a nerdy-looking young man with glasses as thick as bottles arguing with a smaller blonde woman in all black (two guesses what organization she's part of), all wild gesticulating between what can be assumed as the Nerd's fainted team scattered around the clearing.

Panty (because hell yeah she's like an Ace Rocket Grunt ok) has a bored expression on her face that's somehow perfectly mimicked by a Salazzle at her side, crossed arms and all. A Krookodile looms menacingly over the Nerd where the trainer kneels protectively over one particular pokeball. ]

Yeah, yeah, I get it, shitheel. That's enough yapping. I've got other stuff to do. [ The angel crouches down to get on the Nerd's level, a shit-eating grin on her face as she crooks a finger in a come-hither gesture. ] You knew what you were getting into, got your ass kicked, and now you're gonna fork that fucker over. Unless you can pay up, capisce?

[ The Krookodile rumbles threateningly, snapping its jaws shut about a foot above the Trainer's head once with a clearly audible clashing of teeth to drive home Panty's threat.

Yep. That's definitely a robbery in progress. Is it a good idea to step in, or would it be better to notify the authorities? She might be long gone by then... ]

♥ TWO || WILDCARD

[ Bring your own prompt, the more ridiculous the better! ]

Edited 2018-01-21 22:32 (UTC)

[The commotion is enough to get anyone's attention, honestly. It just so happens that Eridan isn't exactly on the victim's side here, so his approach gives false comfort to the poor guy—until that flash of the infamous red R on his black sweater identifies all too clearly this rambunctious and foul-mouthed lady is far from not having back up.

Not that she needs Eridan's help, it's pretty obvious she has this, but Eridan can't help himself, because he loves when the helpless get stomped on. It's just part of his nature, ok!?]

If you know what's good for you, you'll depart with your shitty pokèmon, and scram. 'Less you lookin' to piss off more than me and she, gettin' a hoofbeast's eye right on your back—and when that happens? You got more fuckin' bloody shit to worry about than your horns gettin' handed to you so embarrassin'ly easily an' losin' one measly pokèmon.

[Eridan stands tall (as tall as 5'4 can allow) as he looks down at the poor guy, not a shred of mercy in his scathing look. Probably a shred of enjoyment... ok, a lot of enjoyment, but shhh!]

[ O shit look what the Skitty dragged in

Shooting Eridan a cursory glance to make sure it's not some rando trying to play hero, Panty turns back to her cowering victim, straightening up and dusting herself off. ]

Nerdboy's got some shit luck, huh? Now he's got two Rockets to deal with.

[ Man, the irony of an Angel deciding it's more fun to be a criminal than a law-abiding citizen is just bonkers. Garterbelt's really the only living soul to be able to keep the Anarchy sisters in line, and without him... well. Things are just going straight to hell in a handbasket at mach speed.

Seeing as the Nerd is being uncooperative, Panty cocks an eyebrow at the waiting Krookodile. ]

Aight, you know what to do, Jockstrap. Shake this fucker down for everything he's got, and we're going for pizza. I'm fucking starving.

[ Yes. Yes, she did in fact call her Krookodile "Jockstrap". And her Salazzle's name is "Thong". Don't ask.
Not bothering to look at her fellow Rocket over her shoulder, she instead snaps her fingers a few times to get his attention. ]

Yo. Pizza good with you, or you want something else?

[Eridan folds his arms over his chest as he watches the nerd get his comeuppance for not complying. Really, what an idiot, and here they were being more kinda than what was needed of them.

The offer of pizza, however, definitely gets his attention.]

Pizza's fine. 'Specially when this dumbfuck here is payin' for it anyway.

[A cursory glance at the man as he gets dumped on the floor with the tenderness and care of a raging bull. Seriously, what did he expect when his pokèmon were so weak? It's truly his own fault.

GIT GUD OR GIT REKT, SCRUB.]

The name's Eridan—Prince a' Hope.

[Says the guy who just backed up a robbery. Real hope-like, that.]

Good. 'Cause that's what we're getting.

[ AND THE SPICIER THE BETTER. Like Carolina Reaper levels of spicy. It just hurts so good and Panty can't get enough.

ANYWAY back to the mugging...

Jockstrap is in the process of dangling the Nerd trainer by the seat of the pants while Thong rifles through his pockets, tossing aside miscellany and keeping anything worth selling. It's not much (like ₽500 at the most) but while Nerd boy is getting shaken like a rag doll, Panty swoops in and scoops up the pokeball he was protecting, stuffs it on her belt, and saunters back up the trail towards Eridan.

Never mind the 'POFF' of dust and grass as Jockstrap unceremoniously drops their victim on his face to stroll off after the Rocket grunts, Thong slithering along in Panty's wake with her claws full of various shiny things and supplies. ]

"Prince", huh. 'Cause you're a royal pain in the ass, or 'cause you got booted out of the ivory tower?

[ Nothing personal. Insulting people is how she makes friends. 8') ]

[Eridan's far more accustom to food with flavor beyond red-hot regret and molten mistake, thank you very much. But, if he's gonna be challenged to eat that spicy shit, there's no way he's gonna back down. Not when his pride's on the line.

Beyond the aforementioned glance as the guy gets dumped, Eridan doesn't spare him anymore attention. Introductions to a tough team member who he's totally scavenging a meal from is hella more important!

—particularly when she's gonna go and insult him like that. It's not something he isn't used to, her rough demeanor is somewhat reminiscent of a certain cerulean pirate.]

Psh! I suppose simpletons and those below me—which bein' practically eweryone— may think a' me as a pain in their nook, but more so the latter of sorts. I'm a royal blood, a pedigree far exceedin' that of the common rabble.

[As he speaks, he waves his hand—which is covered in gold rings with purple jewels embedded in them. As if they themselves give some weight to his claim.]

Truly this grunt work is far below my station.

[yet he seems to do it with some enjoyment! He doesn't like the idea of being an underling, but the unlawfulness? On Alternia, it certainly wasn't seen as that, he's just doing what's in his right to do: defeat the unworthy, display his dominance, and steal their shit.]

[ Accepting the wad of cash Thong offers her in exchange for scratches under the Salazzle's chin, Panty stuffs the loose change in her uniform pockets and starts leafing through the rest of her ill-gotten gains with a frankly appalling lack of remorse. So... business as usual, basically.

It's not like she's stealing some mega strong pokemon anyway. Just the least-shittiest one her victim had at the time. No big deal. ]

Blah blah blah holier than thou, I get it. Stuff a cork in it already. [ MEGA BORED TONE c'mon guy don't pretend to be the top of the pecking order when you're doing "grunt work" just like she is - Panty can confidently claim to come from CELESTIAL BADASSERY and you don't see her kicking up a fuss about it. (Yet. She isn't kicking up a fuss yet.) Everyone and their dog claims to be related to royalty nowadays anyway. ] Besides, if you're looking for more chumps to beat the royal treasury out of, you're shit outta luck, sugartits. Nothing left worth bothering with.

[ A.k.a Panty's gone and kicked the shit out of most of the trainers along this route, sans the really young kids with neither the money nor the pokemon worth her time. Priorities. ]

[Eridan rolls his eyes at her dismissal. It's so easy to cast off the woes of the mighty, when they're so difficult to comprehend. He can't truly fault the biologically inferior, after all.]

Eh, I ain't too worried about that shit. Ain't like I'm hurtin' for beetles. [what] Besides, I got no interest in someone's sloppy seconds.

[That's not quite...]

You gonna giwe me your name, or you gonna play the mysterious card, 'cos I'll hawe you know, that shit ain't cute. Newer been, newer will be.

Beetles? The fuck...

[ No wonder you ain't getting jack diddly squat, my dude. Not if you're limiting yourself to just Bug pokemon (and they're shitty anyway). ]

You're pretty damn pushy for some shitpickle with an attitude. Try running your mouth about sloppy seconds AFTER you actually get some action and it might be believable.

[ And she knows aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall about getting action. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Girl's like an olympic gold medalist at tapping ass.
Anyway. What were they talking about again? ]

It's Panty. The fuck haven't you heard of me yet?

—Or whatewer it is you hairless banana-creatures call your monetary notes.

[Another eye roll.]

Excuse the fuck outta you, I get plenty of action, eff-why-aye.

[Not what she meant, Eridan. Not the right kind of action.]

Panty? No, I hawen't heard of you before, an' why the fuck should I? You look about as run a' the bloody mill as the rest of our useless teammates that ain't worth half their weight in salt.

[beat]

Well, I suppose that's jumpin' the fuckin' gun a bit too quick on judgment, 'cos at least you seem to hawe the damn globes to kick the shit outta these pisspoor ignoramuses that call themselwes trainers. Credit where it's due, or somesuch.

[This girl must be new...or newish. Jinx has only been out of Team Rocket for a month or so but already they have such big personalities like this filling her place? It's almost insulting really. But then again Jinx was never really a good member of team rocket. All ambition but no followthrough.

With a sigh the pink haired trainer palms one of her pokeballs. Jinx is fairly sure she can take her in a pokemon fight. But something just feels so...cheesy about rushing to the rescue. Is there anyway she can make this cool?]

Hey...you know that you can actually make WAY more money just getting a regular job then the pathetic bounty Team Rocket pays for stolen pokemon right?

JANUARY - FEBRUARY TEST DRIVE MEME

Anarchy Panty | Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt

no subject

I'm gonna beat u to death with Garfemon you ass

It's exactly the thing you've always wanted

GARBAGE??????

I figured you needed the company!

Wowowowow unfriends immediately

Then you'd have NO friends. Guess you do need that company after all...

no subject

no subject

1