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ohmyarceus2022-01-01 02:38 pm
indigo_events) wrote in ohmyarceus2022-01-01 02:38 pm
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[Lorenz makes a show of sighing heavily, closing his eyes lest he give in to the temptation to roll them and bringing a hand up to smooth over his hair as though Claude's very existence might literally have ruffled him.]
At the very least wait until morning. It will be late by the time you get here at that rate. I've managed to acquire a room for the evening if nothing else.
[Yes, sassing him is much easier than considering the implications of Claude deciding he's going to be "looking after him". ]
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I guess you wouldn't be interested in flying anywhere tonight...because that's how I'll be taking you back, you know. There's no wyverns here, but there are flying pokémon that are close enough, and they're one of the fastest ways to travel. So I hope you're ready to go up in the air with me.
[Lorenz probably did not realize this, and now he has to decide if what awaits him is a dream or a nightmare - riding alongside Claude on a flying mount, probably having to hold onto him for the flight...]
But are you sure you don't want me to at least come to you tonight? We've got a lot to catch up on, you've had a rough time, and you're still adjusting to this place. Having some company would probably be good for you.
CW: animal cruelty/death
[But instead of continuing his token complaints Lorenz pauses, struck by a thought that has him swallowing down his emotions again.
He could have his own mount again. One that was his and would never be at risk of being put down for the sin of obeying her master instead of his father. It had been a reminder, a show of callous cruelty just to drive home the point that The Count had no qualms about destroying something valuable if it was the slightest bit disloyal.
Just like him. ]
I... Will leave it to your judgment, Claude. Whether you wish to begin the trip tonight or in the morning.
[As though he's not struggling with his emotions so very obviously. As though Claude would be willing to let him suffer alone if he could stop it. When he speaks again he can't look at the camera and his voice is tight with the effort of restraint. ]
It would be a comfort to no longer be alone.
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[Unbeknownst to either of them, the countdown to Lorenz getting himself a Galarian Rapidash has begun.
In the meantime, Claude nods, looking completely sure of himself.] All right - six hours and counting it is, then. I'll be coming out of the pokécenter - it's the big red building with the nurses inside, you can't miss it - so keep an eye out for me. I just have to let the others know I'm leaving.
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Lorenz actually smiles, properly smiles, when Claude gets so defensive over his lack of lizard but his expression softens to something sadder, more hesitant when he carries on insisting he'll come to him tonight. He doesn't have it in him to argue, though, certainly not when Claude seems so sure of himself.]
Then... I will see you in a few hours. Perhaps we can have dinner when you arrive.
[It will be fairly late but... it's been so long since he was able to spend time with the other man.]
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It doesn't take him long to tell the rest of their group where he's going and why - a couple of them have talked to Lorenz already - and then he's off to catch a train with his team. It's a rather boring six hours...or it would be, if he didn't spend it amusing himself by texting Lorenz random wild facts about this world in order to enjoy his absolutely incredulous reactions.
He's missed a lot of things about Lorenz - not just over the past year, but even before that, when they'd lost contact - but teasing him is very high on the list. It's just natural that a guy as laid-back as Claude wouldn't be able to help gently needling a guy wound as tight as Lorenz is - partly just for the amusement factor, but also partly to encourage the guy to loosen up himself. Claude doesn't feel like Lorenz's virtues would lose anything if he eased up a little.
There's admittedly a secondary purpose to the teasing, though. The playful back-and-forth isn't just for Claude's benefit, and it's not without purpose - the things Claude does rarely are. It's settling them back into their old dynamic, a familiar routine that might help Lorenz feel more at ease and more at home. And if nothing else, it's a lighthearted distraction to keep Lorenz from brooding over...quite a lot of heavy, dark thoughts he's clearly weighed down with. Claude hates to think of the guy spending six hours in his own head, working himself up or tearing himself down or, possibly, both. He hates the thought of one of his Deer suffering and miserable while he's not there to do something about it.
So for now, he'll keep Lorenz in the now. It can't last forever - some things can't be avoided, only deferred - but whenever the full weight comes crashing down on Lorenz, Claude wants him to be among friends. Even just one friend might be enough.
And so it is that some six hours and change later, Claude is leaning on the desk of the pokécenter, fighting down the nausea of...going through the warps a little too fast. It's hard not to rush the end of the journey, though, when he knew it was only a matter of minutes between himself and Cherrygrove. While he breathes slowly, letting his stomach settle, he wonders absently if Lorenz is already waiting outside, or if he should give him a call to let him know he's arrived. In the end, he opts for the latter, opening up another video call.]
Hey, Lorenz! Your transportation has arrived! [He's starting to feel a little better, and he's usually good at only letting people see what he wants them to see, so hopefully Lorenz won't notice his passing nausea.]
no subject
What the hells is a qwerty? Is that a pokémon???
For all his complaints, though, Claude's plans work beautifully. Both in keeping Lorenz anchored in the present and also settling them back into familiar banter (something that is likely going to become a ceaseless ongoing texting habit). No, the flaw in Claude's plan is thinking for even a moment that Lorenz doesn't start pacing just far enough from the pokécenter's glass doors to not trigger the sensor...a good fifteen minutes before the six hour mark.
For all his attempts to be smooth and hide the nausea that comes with the quick succession warping Lorenz is marching into the building the same moment he's trying to set up the call, completely ignoring the chime, intent on the man himself. Surely the sound immediately behind him will have Claude redirecting his attention from the phone to Lorenz who, for all the determination in his stride, wavers at the last moment. He draws up short, smile wobbling just a little. The relief of actually seeing Claude nearly destroying all the work the other man's put into keeping him from brooding.
Ah but he seems unwell and Lorenz... should keep his hands to himself but some part of him can't resist a light touch to Claude's arm, delicate almost... as though he might crumble away with too much pressure.]
Are you... alright?
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He offers the other man his most charming smile, and if he's a little pale still, it genuinely is fading.] I'm fine! It's just - you know that Warp spell Lysithea has? This place has contraptions that do more or less the same thing that let you move from town to town quickly. I mean, you can only use them if you've traveled to the town normally at least once, that's why I can't take you back as quickly as I got here, but...well, anyway, if you use those machines to jump from town to town too fast, it can make you feel a little sick to your stomach, that's all. It'll fade on its own.
[Claude could lie about this, but he doesn't think Lorenz would buy it now that he can see Claude in person. Besides, he's been lying a lot less over the past year, and telling the truth really isn't that big of a deal here. Not really worth the effort of pretending.
In the meantime he leans forward, peering up at Lorenz.] What about you? You're the one I'm more worried about.
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Lorenz returns the smile as best he can, trying his hardest not to get too choked up just being in the presence of one of the few people he genuinely considered a friend after being isolated for so long. He's honestly hardly paying attention to explanation. Right, warping. Some of the deeper more.... unpleasant places in Fódlan have similar contraptions, though they utilize the same strange dark magics that the Agarthans use.
Just think of them has his already fragile smile wavering for a moment, the fingers touching Claude's sleeve so lightly curling just a little, like he might just cling to him but he doesn't allow himself to do it. If he lets himself do any of a number of things that might make him feel better he's afraid what little self control he has will crumble.]
Fine... I- I'll be fine.
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That settles it. Claude had kind of wanted to hug Lorenz anyway - he's missed him, perhaps more than he'd realized until he'd actually seen him again and the elephant in the room between them had been addressed - but he thinks Lorenz might actually need one. So, with a smile and a shake of his head, he steps forward and pulls the lanky idiot into an embrace.
...emphasis on the lanky, actually. Without that fancy armor in the way, and when Claude's actually got his arms around Lorenz, the slightly surprising ease with which he'd pulled in a guy taller than he is gets some context. He'd swear Lorenz didn't used to be this skinny...just how bad did the guy have it?]
C'mon, you can unbend enough to just admit you missed me. I mean, if you think you're actually fooling anyone right now, much less me, then I might have to be offended.
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Holding his breath isn't going to last as a means of self restrain but it gives him another moment of pretending like he's not a complete disaster. But Claude in his infinite wisdom decides to tease him and it startles a laugh out of him, or something that was meant to be a laugh. Except it comes out as more of a sob and then Lorenz half collapses against Claude, face buried in his shoulder. If he must cry then at least he can hide against Claude and wonder when he'd come to associate safety with a man that he'd once been so suspicious of.]
I did- [The words are wet and shaky but he keeps himself to sniffles and trembling breaths, able to keep himself from outright sobbing at the very least.] I missed you so much.
[Er... maybe able to keep himself from outright sobbing]
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Somehow, for all Claude's infinite wisdom, he hadn't actually expected Lorenz to break down like this, even though he'd known the other man was in a bad state. In retrospect, maybe that was uncharacteristically stupid of him. Whether or not it's accurate - Lorenz himself doesn't seem entirely sure anymore, and Claude is happy to cling to that scrap of hope rather than believe otherwise - Lorenz had thought he'd died. Alone, desperate and scared, full of regrets, trying to do what he believed was right all the way to the end but none of it going the way he wanted it to. Who wouldn't break down?
(Thinking of Lorenz dying with his regrets laying heavy on him...it makes him think of some of the more disturbing beliefs of Faerghus. And, for a moment, he almost thinks he sees a glimmer of sense in it. Not that preaching that kind of doctrine, thinking that the regretful dead are burning in a sort of hell until their regrets are resolved for them, is a good thing by any means, but...the way it makes him feel, he can see why those feeling the same might try to justify doing whatever they felt would help the dead rest easier. Less a service to the dead than a balm - and perhaps an excuse - for the grieving. Claude's never been a particularly vengeful or violent person, but...if Lorenz died like that, then Edelgard and Count Gloucester have something to personally answer to Claude for.)
Still...somehow, Claude hadn't seen this coming. Perhaps because he and Lorenz have rarely been this raw and vulnerable with each other - Lorenz rarely, Claude next to never. They're way off the map of their usual dynamic, and Claude isn't quite sure how to navigate it. It feels oddly harder than the emotional intimacy that he's developed with the Blue Lions here, despite the fact that he knows Lorenz far better than he initially knew any of them. Maybe it's due to most of the territory having been uncharted with them - with less familiarity, the unfamiliar hadn't felt so strange.
Lorenz has always been a difficult one, too - it isn't as simple as just pouring compassion and sympathy on him. The man has his pride, and as battered as it might be right now, Claude still thinks he probably has it in him to be offended if he feels Claude is coddling him. It's a delicate needle to thread, but...well, if his Deer aren't worth the effort, who is?
He chuckles a little, rubbing Lorenz's back with one hand. It's an almost familial gesture, not that Lorenz comes from any kind of family where he'd be likely to recognize it.] Jeez, wasn't expecting you to actually admit it...now I'm all embarrassed. But I missed you too, Lorenz. Seriously. And as much as I hate what you had to come through...I'm glad you're here.
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He can hardly recall the last time he cried never mind any sort of comfort offered for such unseemly behavior. A nobleman is not swayed by his emotions but instead logical and precise. Always. Something that had been drilled into him for as long as he can remember.
Don't get upset, don't get mad, don't show anyone that things affect you. You undermine your power with such needless emotions. You need to be untouchable. All pleasant smiles and polite nods and don't you dare question your father.
He'd never managed to be cold the way his father did but he could spout thoughtless pleasantries for days and that had been... acceptable.
But this? This was disgraceful. And here was Claude being kind to him, as though he wasn't making an utter fool of himself.
Lorenz sniffles again, swallows down another sob, and forces himself to take a step back. Distance, first and foremost. One hand comes up to his face, rubbing at his eyes as begins murmuring his apologies, voice still strained even though he's fighting so hard to get himself back under control.]
N-nonsense. If anyone should be embarrassed it's me. [One more attempt to scrub away any sign of tears from his face and pretend like his hold on his emotions is far more solid than it is (than it ever is, if he's honest.)]
My... apologies...
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[He shakes his head.] I think under the circumstances, you'd be more than justified in cutting yourself some slack here...but despite my sterling example, you've never really learned how to do that, have you? Not that you've had much freedom to follow that example, with Count Gloucester always looming over you. But now that we're here...just remember that you do have that freedom now, okay? I know you're not going to unwind all at once, but...you can still loosen a little.
[He reaches out to lightly touch Lorenz's wrist.] C'mon, let's go grab some food. I'm not feeling sick anymore, and you feel like you've missed a few dozen meals.
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But that doesn't make it any easier to accept his own spiraling thoughts as being in any way reasonable.
I'm not the one you feel like you're letting down here, am I? Perhaps... perhaps not, logically. Still it's been so long and he's just so grateful to have Claude here with him that he can't help feeling like every little hiccup is going to finally break the other man's seemingly endless patience with him. Surely there must be a tipping point that his failings will make Claude give up on him once and for all.
Maybe he'd already reached it. Maybe that was why Claude had never come-
He frowns hard, shaking his head, lip still trembling and eyes damp. No, he knows that's not true however many times he'd wondered when things were at their darkest... when he'd thought Father would get tired of his endless resistance and simply give him over to them.]
I'm- [Stop it. He's not some fragile damsel in distress that needed Claude to come rescue him and continuing to apologize for being bothersome is only going to grow tiresome and that's precisely what he's trying to avoid. He lets out a shaky breath and when Claude touches his wrist he finds himself clinging to his hand before he can stop himself.
Something he immediately remedies, releasing the hold he has on his friend and rolling his eyes at himself, huffing out an irritated breath so that he can do his best to act as normal as possible.] Must you really be so clever now of all times?
[You can't just call him out like this Claude, his heart can't take it.]
Dinner... would be nice. And I will do my best to remain presentable this time.
[A weak, half-hearted smile. A subtle reminder that perhaps eating in public would be even more embarrassing because of... everything weighing on him right now. Even if he does tug his jacket tighter around him as if he can simply deny the suggestion that he hasn't been eating if he somehow blocks Claude from seeing how much space there really is in what was a perfectly fitted suit.]
no subject
Okay, so Lorenz isn't able to relax himself or his sky-high personal standards here. Fair enough; it's a lot to unpack all at once, and it's not like Lorenz is in a great state for doing any kind of emotional labor. But Claude's a strategist. When confronted with a hard limit, he doesn't take that as an impassable roadblock; he looks for a way around. And he can work with this. It's not like Lorenz has ever been easy to unbend, and he's managed him just fine before.]
Well, if you're not going to take my hand, I'll just take yours. [He says this lightly, even as he reaches out and grabs the hand that just let go of his.] Now you're just enduring me and my ridiculous whims like always, right?
[And, without giving Lorenz any real time to answer, much less protest, he starts pulling him out of the pokécenter.] C'mon, we'd better get going! Restaurants and cafes don't necessarily stay open all night in a sleepy town like this. As for presentable, who cares? It's late enough that we might be the last customers of the night.
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It makes him seem needy, he's sure, but for just a moment he can't quite make himself care. Not when Claude offers him that flimsy excuse on a silver platter. He simply threads his fingers through Claude's and holds on for all he's worth.
Which turns out to be a good thing because Claude pulling him out of the pokécenter staggers him for a moment, his feet clumsy as he adjusts to the other man's pace.]
O-oh... If it's that late it would be awfully impolite... wouldn't it?
[Yeah he's absolutely one of those people that wants to be seated at least an hour before a restaurant closes or he feels like a bother.]
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We'll pay them extra. [Claude says this with determination, and also the casual air of a man for whom money ceased to be any object ages ago.] It's only rude to ask someone to do something if they're not being properly compensated for doing it, isn't it? If the compensation is worth it to them, though, then logically they'll be happy to trade their services for that compensation. That's the kind of logic you like, isn't it? An equitable exchange and amicable understanding between the served and the serving?
[Never let it be said Claude hasn't learned how to sell Lorenz on ideas.]
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But instead of finding it infuriating, just this once, he takes some comfort from Claude's unending confidence and allows the other man to just take charge of everything. Lorenz himself feels far too off kilter, like his heart's been hollowed out of everything that mattered and now, suddenly, that space is flooded over again and he has no idea how to contain it anymore.
So he simply lets Claude lead, squeezes his hand one more time, and when he speaks his voice is thick with emotion and the threat of tears again.]
Thank you, Claude.
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[But he squeezes Lorenz's hand back, all the same.
Claude considers their choices carefully, and soon settles on guiding Lorenz inside a bakery. He knows Lorenz is fond of cakes and sandwiches and pastries - namely the sorts of things that go with tea - but also he can tell this place serves heartier fare, too. He's specifically eyeing the soup bread bowls. Something nice and hearty and filling seems like it'd do Lorenz a lot of good right now.] This place seems nice. Why don't you go get us a table while I order us some grub?
[That word choice was deliberate. He wants Lorenz to be a little less deferential, and he figures the quick way to that is to low-key annoy him with a word as inelegant as 'grub'. Just something to get him a little huffy, stir up that banked spark of Lorenz's spirit.]
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Ugh. Must you?
[ Why do you have to be disgusting, Claude? Lorenz half rolls his eyes, turning away to huff off to find them somewhere to sit... only to turn on his heel and march right back as soon as he sees the glass case of pastries up front. ]
I'll forgive your horrible language if you bring me one of those nut rolls.
[ Whatever else Claude is planning to get him a maple and pecan topped cinnamon roll just sounds too heavenly to pass up. ]
Please.
[ A murmured afterthought, torn between the demanding huffiness that feels so natural with Claude and not wanting to be rude. Then he finally wanders off to claim a table near the front windows so they can see outside.]
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It was just...part of how their relationship worked. And because they liked each other, Claude had liked that - and he likes to think Lorenz did, too. So seeing that familiar dynamic raise its head again, even out of Lorenz's depression...it feels good. Great, even.
The fact that Lorenz follows it up with a demand is even better. (The 'please' doesn't detract from this, both because Lorenz would be polite and proper even when making demands and because the fact that it was made at all is the main thing.) That gets a bright laugh out of Claude, and he answers with a wink before heading to the counter.
Lorenz has made a grave mistake. He's let Claude order the food.
Claude, a man who loves feasts.
So when Claude brings over the trays of food...Lorenz is going to find out he's ordered way too much. For one thing, Lorenz definitely has two of those nut rolls, and they're not small. But for another...Claude seems to have ordered enough food for about four people, because it takes four trays to convey it all to their table. (In fact, Claude has to pull over a second table to set two of the trays down on.) Several large sandwiches, two bread bowls full of (different kinds of) soup, three chocolate-drizzled croissants, a large bowl of macaroni and cheese, a flatbread pizza(white sauce, like Lorenz), two chai lattes, and a large salad that definitely has a lot of chicken in it.
And Claude begins distributing the food between them as though this is totally normal and not something Lorenz is going to be aghast about. Especially since an awful lot of the food seems to be ending up on Lorenz's side of the table.]