DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (for Team Rocket's glory)

[indigo_league]

TEST DRIVE MEME

➞ Post with a character you wish to test drive in this game's setting.
➞ Tag other people's starters and thread out shenanigans!
➞ Invite your friends! Try out new characters! Come play with us!
➞ Have fun!


NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN YOUR TEST-DRIVE JOURNEY?
CHECK OUT ALL THE LOCATIONS WE HAVE AVAILABLE IN:

JOHTO | and | KANTO


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OTHER USEFUL LINKS:
NAVIGATION | RESERVES | APPLICATIONS

Comments

[Video]

[grifterinpink]

[The glowy box opens. The last thing Fiona remembers is standing next to Rhys, gazing into the blue light as it filled the entire Vault. She'd made it - against all impossible odds. Somehow she'd managed to break out of the shit town of Hollow Point and not only found a real Vault but had punched, shot, and sweet-talked her way into being the person to lay claim to the treasure inside. Sure, so what if Rhys was next to her. He wasn't so bad... sort of... as long as she didn't have to watch him make moon eyes at her sister any longer. Sash could take care of herself. There were more important things to worry about right now. Like shiny treasure, for one.

The blue light disappears. Instead of looking down on an awesome alien artifact, she finds herself standing on the side of a road surrounded by far more green than she's ever seen in her life. Something is on her back. She shrugs off a backpack, growing more irritated as time passes. She has a feeling someone set her up and she knows just who to blame.

She opens the pack to find a device that looks a lot like something Atlas would have built. The symbol on the back resembles Gortys and that makes her smile, a little. Still, it could all be a sick joke. It wouldn't be the first time she had been betrayed and she doubts it will be the last.

Fiona turns the device on and scowls down in to the screen.]

Rhys! What did you do?

[Video]

[thedifferencebetween]

[Traveling's still a bitch. Ass-Gore isn't nearly big enough to ride, and Mafuyu has yet to make with the fire horse he's been asking for for months. This? This is why he doesn't do eggs. It takes too damn long.]

[So he's stuck with his bicycle. And while it's a sleek, bright yellow and black model, top of the line...it's still a bicycle. There's a friggin' basket on the handles. That's currently filled with an alarming amount of fat houndour puppy. Cattrap may be able to run alongside, but Doom Boner barely understands the concept of 'running'.]

[But none of that matters right now. Jack sees the woman as he crests a rise, traveling along the road ahead.]

[That? That's a hot chick. With an awesome hat. Now that is a sight to see. There aren't near enough women around here. Wow, that's a nice hat. She's cute. And that style...that's familiar. She looks like she could have stepped right off of an Eden transport.]

[While he's not dressed in his trademark outfit, it's his yellow Hyperion shirt he's wearing under a brown button down. And of course, his mask is fixed in place, as it always is when other people can see him. If she is another transplant from his corner of the galaxy, she'll recognize him. And probably swoon. Like the ladies do.]

[He coasts down the hill and pulls the bike up in a dramatic skid on the dirt road beside her, grinning already.]

Well this beautiful day just got a whole lot more beautiful....waitaminute...

[Had he heard that right?]

Did you just say....Rhys?

[grifterinpink]

[Fiona narrows her eyes the moment she sees someone riding up the road. She can't make out the figure until the person skids to a stop in front of her. She's having a "YOU!" moment as the person on the bike cannot be who she thinks it is. Handsome Jack is dead - twice over. What the hell is he doing here riding some ridiculous looking bike?

The moment he opens his mouth to speak she knows it's true. She also knows that the last time Handsome Jack spoke to her was when he threatened to shoot her full of bullets while he watched through a monitor. And now he's asking about Rhys. Oh-ho, she'll show him what she thinks about that.]

Sonofabitch!

[She balls up her fist and swings, connecting with that oh-so chisled jaw of his. She wants to knock his ass onto the ground before she shoots him - after a little interrogation of course. Rhys said that Handsome Jack had been in his head before. Maybe this had been their plan all along.]

[thedifferencebetween]

SON OF A TAINT!

[What the hell?!?! Jack goes tumbling off his bike, sprawling onto his back in the dirt. The bike topples over, Doom Boner yelping as he's tumbled out of the basket in an oozing blob of fur and puppy fat.]

What the hell's the matter with you!?!? Is it 'cause I mentioned Rhys? What did that idiot do to you? Whatever it was, I had nothing to do with it! Go punch him! I'm a friggin' innocent bystander just tryin' to be a nice guy...

[Because hey, she'd said Rhys. He'd said Rhys. Then she'd punched him. Rhys is an idiot, and probably the type that pisses women off. Ergo, it makes perfect sense that he's getting socked hard enough to make his vision blur because that dumb friggin' kid made an ass of himself over Pink Stripe here.]

[grifterinpink]

Don't nice guy me, asshhole. You know, the puppies aren't about to fool anyone. Well, maybe an idiot - speaking of idiots...

[Fiona walked over to Jack, fully intending to point her gun in his face. Because, let's face it, when a guy threatens to riddle you with bullets, you don't let him off easy the next time you see him. She stopped inches from where he sat on the ground and pointed her finger at him, jerking her right arm so that the pistol would slide into position.]

I know you and Rhys were working together. Where is he?

[Only nothing happened. She tried again with the same result. Stepping away, she patted the arm of her jacket and was shocked to find that her gun wasn't jammed - it wasn't there at all.]

[thedifferencebetween]

Hey, don't bring Doom Boner into this!

[Upon hearing his name - and noticing the predicament of his Trainer - the houndour waddles over to place himself between Fiona and Jack. He plants his legs widely apart, taking a squat, intimidating pose....]

[And promptly begins to wiggle and loll his tongue out.]

Yeah, some great guard dog you are. Look, lady, of course Rhys was working for me, he's Hyperion. He's back in Goldenrod, I guess, I dunno! He's a really crappy employee, doesn't even pick up half the time I call...

[Great. A hot chick shows up. A hot chick with balls. And a cute hat. And she's Pandoran. Bandit Pandoran. Why does this planet keep dumping in people who hate him?]

Uh...we're not on Helios, babe. I...I don't know why you're doing that at me...with the finger. You wanna let me get up? Or do you wanna keep acting like a crazy lady in the middle of the road?

Uh...the right answer's that first one.

[grifterinpink]

[It's the dog that does it. She's never seen a dog like that before - so fat and squashy she wants to pick it up and smother it with adorable puppy hugs. This is the sort of thing that Fi would have expected to find draped over Handsome Jack's shoulders in some weird Corporate Villain suit jacket, not as a pet.

Of course, there was that weird crystal unicorn in his office. That bled. Ugh, she really shouldn't have thought about that. Now she feels bad.

She puts her hand down and steps back, giving him space to sit up. She doesn't trust him, but for the moment he didn't seem seconds away from pulling a gun on her. Also, he didn't seem to know who she was, either, which was equally strange.

Time to get some questions answered.]

So, Rhys is here in a town owned by Hyperion. That... doesn't make any sense.

[Video]

[kissmyaspis]

[The list of "people Athena will admit to liking" is a short list. Very short. As in she can probably count every member on that list with one hand. Fiona? Fiona is definitely on that list, so when she gets a response from her mentor, she actually gets what passes for a smile from Athena.]

Believe it or not, it's not his fault.

[Video]

[grifterinpink]

[Fiona blinks, surprised to see Athena on the other end of the weird Atlas device. Maybe it was one of the goodies that fell from the Vault Guardian pinata?]

Everything is Rhys' fault, one way or another. How did you get one of these comms? Guess that means I'm still on Pandora, anyway.

[Video]

[kissmyaspis]

Actually, as far as I can tell, this is not Pandora. [She jabs a thumb up, gesturing to the sky.] Take a look at the sky once you get out. No Elpis, and the moon you can see at night isn't scarred to hell and back. I don't even think this is one of the Edens.

[And god, does the way her expression set back to her default frown show just how much she dislikes this situation. She's been all over the place, working for the Lance and working as a lone merc. But this planet... she's never seen anything like it.]

I woke up in a house that was definitely not my place in Hollow Point, grabbed a pack on my way out, and found it inside. Bet that's what happened to you too, huh?

Re: [Video]

[grifterinpink]

Something like that.

[Fiona looks up. Nothing but blue sky. How long had she dreamed about getting off the shit hole planet and now that she had she didn't know how to feel about it. New place, new surroundings - she'd adapt. She always did but at least she knew how Pandora worked. This place? Still too new to get her bearings.]

Sounds like whatever was inside the Vault managed to teleport us all to a new planet. Is Sasha with you?

[Video]

[kissmyaspis]

She's not.

[... Unfortunately for Fiona, Athena isn't really one to hide things that she doesn't think should be hidden. There's no point in being dodgy about it, because Fiona will find out one way or another that Sasha isn't here, so it's better to get it out now, rather than later.]

When I woke up, I was alone. A few hours later, I spoke to Rhys, and he's been traveling with me since then.

[A pause, and then her voice... changes. It's a bit less harsh than it usually is.]

As far as I can tell, she hasn't returned to Hollow Point since the incident with that Vault.

[Video]

[grifterinpink]

What?

[That was impossible. She had just seen Sasha, gleefully gathering up all of the weapons that had fallen out of the Vault Guardian. Had something happened while she and Rhys opened the Vault?]

No, that doesn't make sense. She was there. She was fine when I left. How could she not have returned to Hollow Point?

[secondhandsome]

[Well, that's definitely a newbie. It's always pretty easy to recognize them, if not from their general confusion, then because of them being upset. Yeah, this whole thing is kinda... really... super annoying, Timothy wasn't exactly thrilled about it himself.

He's watching from a little bit away and... yep, looks like she's accessing the network? Even so, uh. Maybe he should help her out? Or offer to, anyway. It sucks being thrown into all of this. He knows that better than anyone.

So carefully, Timothy is just gonna... approach.]

Uhhh. Hey.

[Wow, yeah, so smooth. Well done, Tim.]

Do you need some help?

[Clearly the fact that he looks exactly like a certain Hyperion dictator isn't gonna cause any awkwardness, right.]

[grifterinpink]

[Strangers asking if she needs help? Sounds suspicious to her. She narrows her eyes as the guy walks closer and...ohshit. She knows him. Not in any intimate, went-out-with-the-guy-once sort of way, but in the he-tried-to-kill-her-once kind of way that a person just doesn't forget. She raises her hand and slides out her elemental six-shooter. Only this time the pistol doesn't slide easily into her hand. In fact, nothing slides in at all!

Double shit. Play it cool, Fiona. By the tone of Jack's voice he doesn't recognize her. Plus, he's sort of strange looking - but that could just be the fact he isn't blue and currently weilding a giant spacestation as a weapon.]

Nope, I am just fine, thanks. Fine. Nothing wrong here.

[secondhandsome]

[Okay, see, that sounds about as natural as...

...Well, actually, it sounds about as natural as he does most of the time. Still. That doesn't mean he can't tell when someone else is acting off. Not that he's got a clue as to why. Maybe she's just like that? Yeah. Probably just like that.]

Oh, uh... You sure? I mean, not that you don't look capable or something! But you seem new and I just figured, hey, maybe you could use a hand. Or... something.

[grifterinpink]

[He's getting closer. Fiona is not at all buying the awkward 'oh, i'm just here to help' act. It's fishy. She reaches in to her backpack and finds a strange small red and white ball. She has no clue what she's supposed to do with it but having something to throw is better than not having any weapon. She holds it in her hand, keeping it by her hip just in case Jack makes a move.]

I've got two hands. Pretty much all the hands I'm going to need at the moment. Thanks for the offer but you might want to keep on walking by. Probably the best for the both of us.

[secondhandsome]

[Ooookay, the fact that she took out a pokeball makes him just a little nervous. Oh god, what if she has something super powerful in there? Aw geez, that'd be just his luck.]

Er... Okay. Didn't mean anything by it, I just... know it sucks ending up here all of a sudden, that's all.

Just um... Yeah. Didn't mean to bug you? Sorry. I mean, I'm not, like, up to anything shady or whatever. If... that's what you're worried about.

[Or maybe she wasn't worried about that until he decided to bring up the possibility, in which case, hey, way to go genius.

Still kind of nervously eying that pokeball, cause... that's probably the closest thing to a weapon available here, let's be honest.]

[grifterinpink]

[Fiona watches as he babbles awkwardly, glancing down at her hand every so often. Now, she never really had a chance to meet Handsome Jack face to face before - but this seems way out of character for him. Where was that infamous charisma she'd heard about? He almost sounded like Rhys, strangely enough.

Still very suspicious. She wasn't going to let her guard down that easily.]

Hey, a little advice. If you don't want someone to suspect that you're up to something shady, maybe you could start by not stumbling over your words. And what's with all the apologizing? That makes me even less certain you're on the level.

SLAMS THE DOOR OPEN also video

[atlasrising]

[ Rhys has his 'gear open, letting it play the latest feeds from the network in the background. It's good background noise when you're out camping in the middle of nowhere and trying to not freeze your ass off. A part of him wants to bitch about this, but after living on Pandora for like, a week, he won't. Even if Fiona and Sasha's camper had heat. Which he definitely does not have here.

He's warming up his soup when Fiona's newest post loads on the network. One second he's just about ready to start eating his (very hot) soup, the next he's spooked hard enough for a good half of it to spill onto his lap.

In a few seconds, he's screaming his head off, his two Pokemon are running around because they're startled, and he's beelining for his tent because his pants are searing hot and he's not going to wear these right now, hell no. They were way too pricey for have food spilled on them anyway, even if it was chicken soup. Or what Rhys hopes is chicken soup.

Best thing about all of this is that it was probably being shown to Fiona the entire time.

Rhys reappears, half wrapped in his sleeping bag because he has to at least keep some of his dignity while his pants dry off. ]

The hell do you mean "what did I do"? Seriously? I just washed those pants...!

[grifterinpink]

[It's difficult for Fiona to keep from smirking at the video footage of Rhys hopping around with hot soup on his pants. That's an image she is going to keep in her head to cheer her up whenever she's feeling sour.

The amusement is short lived as she remembers why she's on this alien planet in the first place and whose fault it most likely is that she's standing here and not next to a gigantic pile of glowing alien treasure.]

Nice sleeping bag. Good to see you had time to pick up some camping gear while deserting me in this place. One minute we're sharing a moment and opening the Vault and the next I'm alone on another alien planet without my guns. Want to give me a little insight on how all of this happened?

[atlasrising]

Wh-What, what? What Vault? [ He squints, shaking his head before peeking out from the bag enough to point a finger at the camera. ]

No no, I didn't desert you anywhere! The last thing I knew, you were taking off in that spaceship with everybody else while I was stuck on Helios. I don't know if you saw the bottom of the base opening up or anything, but I'll let you know that I saw you in that thing Scooter built, leaving me behind. So I'm not sure what you're mad about!

[ Rhys is mad now. Oooh, is he mad. ] Things got...bad, sure. But if I was in your position, I wouldn't leave one of my teammates stranded on a spaceship that was on a crash course to Pandora. Do you even know how low that is?!

[grifterinpink]

I deserted you? Did you sleep through the last few weeks when our asses were dragged through the desert by Loader Bot? I already told you - I didn't leave you on Helios. Vallory's minions jumped us, grabbed Gortys and Sasha and left in the caravan. What's low is using the Vault to drag me half across the universe only to dump me in a strange place surrounded by weird creatures that fit into balls! What the hell is that all about, Rhys?

[Fiona is equally as pissed. She really doesn't care that she's standing off the side of the road shouting into a small communicator. She's only just sorry Rhys isn't there so she can vent her anger with a few well placed punches.]

[atlasrising]

Dragged through the desert by who? [ Rhys still is angry, sure. But when Loader Bot's mentioned, his expression softens quite a bit. The last he saw his bud, he was being shot away in an escape pod. One of Vallory's goons had knocked Loader over after one of his arms got blasted and them riddled him with bullets.

Hearing Loader Bot's name is enough to make Rhys shut up and listen. Something isn't right, here. It's hard for him to remember that time doesn't work right here; somehow, Handsome Jack is in the land of the living. Fiona is...somewhere. Being dragged by a loader bot, or his Loader Bot, or something.

Rhys shakes his head. ] Okay, okayokayokay, back up. Time gets weird here. Something's not adding up right.

When I first came here, we crashed on Pandora. After Helios' power core...failed. [ After Rhys more or less busted it, more like. ] That's where I came here from. The last thing I remember is hitting some weird mountain in the escape pod, and that's it.

I don't know about traveling around the universe, or being dragged through the desert. As far as I know, Loader Bot's gone. [ Ouch, does that smart. ]

[grifterinpink]

[It's difficult not to believe Rhys is telling the truth. His voice has this tendency to waver whenever he's emotional. It's different from his 'fake crying' voice. Somehow he was from the past, or at least, her past. Could Vaults mess with time as well as space? Considering she knew little about what was in them other than it would make her rich beyond her wildest dreams, she supposed it wasn't out of the question.]

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Loader Bot is fine. He gets off of Helios - or rather, what's left of it - and comes to find us. So don't go all Gloomy Gus on me. Things turn out all right in the end. At least... I think they do... We both end up here. I'm not entirely sure what that means.