TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

[11121_assumption]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

Loving stolen from bakerstreet. You know how this works.

If you don't here's the game; browse through the Texts form Last Night site and pick a couple. Post them as texts your character would send and people will respond! PROFIT!

Comments

[11121_assumption]

1: I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

2: yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho

3: I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.

4: Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way

5: Text him!

[beastofasister]

i.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, and mini-cupcakes.

ii.
Well, I've consulted some psychics, but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming.

iii.
You left a paper here that says "to do list," but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times.

iv.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad.

v.
[ Text her! ]

[moneylogues]

1. extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry

2. dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me

3. i have no morals, kinda like you have no standards.

4. i take paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. you choose.

5. [ text him! ]

[secondhandsome]

1. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.

2. As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.

3. So I just watched a seagull attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.

4. So unmotivated today.

Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.

5. [ text him! ]

4

[11121_assumption]

I do not owe you payment for anything.

[moneylogues]

lol

that's what you think

[in4apounding]

1) As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.

2) We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Furretos in your bag just in case I got hungry

3) You have to do what you have to do. Like how I have to walk in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just have to.

4) I woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you yelling at Kricketots. Good night or bad night?

5) I have in my possession one Pokélele-shaped package.

6) Wildcard.

[11121_assumption]

What do you think I owe you for.

[cyan_maid]

1: Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle...

2: I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

3: Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires!

4: I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.

5: [Text her!]

[shiro2hero]

1. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely like always.

2. I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out from exhaustion and you had to come in and get me

3. Blame my PTSD and move on?

4. we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

[better2do]

1: I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.

2: This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.

3: Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my Xatu as he devoured a single macaroni

4: I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.

5: [Text him!]

[agent3]

1: Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire

2: yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho

3: I have 35 pounds of P10 coins. Need any?

4: fallin asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person

5: [Text her!]

1!

[in4apounding]

I'm sorry! I woke up after a weird dream and then remembered that there were those Exeggutor-o waffles in the freezer with the chocolate chips in them and they just sounded too delicious to resist at 3am.

And then I might've dose back off while I was waiting for the toaster to finish, I'm not sure.

oh god penny no

[cyan_maid]

Penny, we are all incredibly fortunate to have water Pokemon who love us far too much to let us burn up to a crisp.
Maybe it might be a better idea to wait until the part of the morning when the sun is up and other people are awake to have waffles?

[brocrux]

1: Shut up. You had me at killer robots.

2: And I was all, "Fuck your joy. I just want more string cheese in my life."

3: Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

4: You narrated your Pokemons' thoughts for two and a half hours last night. I was enthralled. I didn't say one word. I just listened.

5: [ Text him. ]

[a_sin_for_him]

1 . There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

2. I screamed at him badly because I thought he was going for my chocolate, forgetting it was in my hand.

3. Can you believe it? He called me a stupid bitch. I'm a highly educated bitch!

4. WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THE LOAF OF BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE THEY LEFT???

5. I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF CHOCOLATE!

6.I madly want someone to kiss me and pet my hair and tell me I'm pretty and pay for all my drinks, why does that have to be so complicated?

[Or text her!]

[thedifferencebetween]

1. She makes me feel like im THAT guy in the Taylor Swift song.

2. Got stoned and went to Walmart once. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

3. I can't sleep. Send Llama pics and stories.

4. He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable.

5. It happened to me once. But i washed off in a decorative pond and walked home naked.

penny yes

[in4apounding]

I know, I'm so sorry! I promise never to engage in late night breakfast-pastries again, no matter how delicious they are.

3

[thedifferencebetween]

...yeah. Yeah that sounds about right.

Also explains the taste in my mouth and why I can't get crappy sitcom theme song music outta my head.

[atlasrising]

1. I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.

2. I said "one day" and that day is not today

3. STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE

4. I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?

3

[thedifferencebetween]

Then answer your friggin messages in a timely fashion.

Consequences, cupcake. They're a thing.

OH MY GOD

[atlasrising]

I DO SEND YOU TEXTS IN A TIMELY FASHION THAT'S BULLSHIT

I really really hope you just got those off of a search or something because I don't want to know if that's actually you I really don't

[thedifferencebetween]

Obviously not, or I wouldn't have to spam you with my junk to get your attention!

Why would I do all that work?

[Yeah, that's clearly Jack's Trubbish in the background, glaring.]

Still waiting on the status of my cake pops, pumpkin.

[atlasrising]

Work my ass! Do you know how awkward it is to get pictures of you? Like I don't care if it's your face but this is crossing the line Jack

I looked up to you for YEARS and the last thing I want to see is your dick so just stop please stop

[ HE SEES THE TRUBBISH and he wants to cry. Mental scarring forever. ]

Fuck your cake pops, you're not getting them. Becaus eyou sent me pictures of your DICK.

[thedifferencebetween]

Oh my god, it's a dick, Rhys. You have one, you know. Or I assume you do.

I'm sort of amazed you've never seen it before, it's kind of on the ECHOnet. Like a lot.

...you don't really grasp how this works, do you? Lack of cake pops equals more dick pics. Whereas delivery of cake pops, or the texted promise thereof, STOPS the dick pics. It's very simple.

BRING ME CAKE POPS!