TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

[11121_assumption]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

Loving stolen from bakerstreet. You know how this works.

If you don't here's the game; browse through the Texts form Last Night site and pick a couple. Post them as texts your character would send and people will respond! PROFIT!

Comments

[atlasrising]

1. I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.

2. I said "one day" and that day is not today

3. STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE

4. I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?

3

[thedifferencebetween]

Then answer your friggin messages in a timely fashion.

Consequences, cupcake. They're a thing.

OH MY GOD

[atlasrising]

I DO SEND YOU TEXTS IN A TIMELY FASHION THAT'S BULLSHIT

I really really hope you just got those off of a search or something because I don't want to know if that's actually you I really don't

[thedifferencebetween]

Obviously not, or I wouldn't have to spam you with my junk to get your attention!

Why would I do all that work?

[Yeah, that's clearly Jack's Trubbish in the background, glaring.]

Still waiting on the status of my cake pops, pumpkin.

[atlasrising]

Work my ass! Do you know how awkward it is to get pictures of you? Like I don't care if it's your face but this is crossing the line Jack

I looked up to you for YEARS and the last thing I want to see is your dick so just stop please stop

[ HE SEES THE TRUBBISH and he wants to cry. Mental scarring forever. ]

Fuck your cake pops, you're not getting them. Becaus eyou sent me pictures of your DICK.

[thedifferencebetween]

Oh my god, it's a dick, Rhys. You have one, you know. Or I assume you do.

I'm sort of amazed you've never seen it before, it's kind of on the ECHOnet. Like a lot.

...you don't really grasp how this works, do you? Lack of cake pops equals more dick pics. Whereas delivery of cake pops, or the texted promise thereof, STOPS the dick pics. It's very simple.

BRING ME CAKE POPS!

[atlasrising]

I don't care if it's just a dick it's YOUR dick. You're my boss and a guy I kinda looked up to for years so I really don't want to see that it's already bad enough I know what you and your girlfriend did on your chair. Because your AI told me when I touched it

Uhhhh I blacklisted anything labeled 'jack's dick' or 'handsome dick' or anything like that. So I wouldn't know

Or how about I just block your number and you get them your damn self I don't need to stand for htis

[thedifferencebetween]

Uh, yeah, the fact that it's mine makes it ten times more awesome than anybody else's. That's a legendary duck, Rhys!

Crap, I meant 'dick'. Friggin autocorrect.

I take back what I said about you being Prince of the Prudebegas. You're god damned Galactic Emperor of Prudebegas. You are the prudiest prude that ever needed smelling salts over hearing the word 'orgasm'. Your levels of discomfort and weirdness regarding penises is the kind of things psychologists write multi-part journals on. Are you getting the message here, cupcake? YOU HAVE ISSUES!

Sure. Fine. How about my junk gets to know something you put your face on?

[atlasrising]

Quack quack quack

Quack Quack Quack

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack ok NO I don't have issues with penises I have issues with YOUR penis because you're my boss and it's weird that you're sending me dick pics because I won't get you your stupid food when you're perfectly cabpible of getting them yourself so you need to stop being so goddamn lazy

or make Doom Boner get it he needs exercise he's overweight

NO

[thedifferencebetween]

Holy christ. See, if you have that much time on your hands, you have time to bring me home delicious sweet treats.

Hey, I'm not texting you as your boss, I'm texting you as your friend! Your friend who really wants cake pops!

1

[purramedic]

This sounds promising. Tell me more.

[atlasrising]

Well I mean

I wasn't being /serious/. Just frustrated.

[purramedic]

Oh, don't be a quitter!

What's bothering you?

[atlasrising]

Nothing! I was just um mad

Don't even know what a fuckboy is so.

[purramedic]

Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as having morals. Nasty business, that.

[atlasrising]

Tell me about it

Some days I wish I could just throw my humanity away. Stupid shit anyway

[purramedic]

It's certainly easier to only care about yourself.

What would you rather be? I wouldn't mind being a cat. I'd catch up on lots of lost sleep rather quickly, and if I broke something important, people would just call me cute instead of a menace.

[atlasrising]

I kinda like the cat idea. I could sleep for hours and nobody give a shit

Maybe a horse

[purramedic]

Why a horse? Sounds like a quick way to a life of servitude.

1 (it was either this or 3 tbh)

[11121_assumption]

What is a 'fuckboy lifestyle'?

[atlasrising]

[ rip rhys and his face because he's blushing like crazy ]

You don't want to know

Never mind

[11121_assumption]

It's not like a ...prostitute, is it? Or a temptress?

If it is then don't.

[atlasrising]

Oh my god no no no no no no no no no no no

[ Well, Rhys. ]

I mean it is but I was just kidding I wouldn't do that

I'm just mad ok

[11121_assumption]

Okay

What's upset you?

[atlasrising]

Just

A lot of things. I miss home but I know when I get there I'm screwed

Just really sucks