TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

[11121_assumption]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

Loving stolen from bakerstreet. You know how this works.

If you don't here's the game; browse through the Texts form Last Night site and pick a couple. Post them as texts your character would send and people will respond! PROFIT!

Comments

[thedifferencebetween]

You're insane.

That's your hangup, Rhys. I'm your friend. Practically your roommate! And I CAN get them for myself, but I like it when you bring'em to me.

C'mon. I'll make it worth your while. Beyond stopping the below the belt snapshots.

But you gotta admit...

[atlasrising]

Quack

Well I don't like getting them for you especially when you send me dick pics so

Ok so no offense I didn't enjoy your pics so I don't know

Admit what

[thedifferencebetween]

Stop acting like I traumatized you by exposing you to a penis besides the one that hides somewhere in the deep recesses of your boxers. Not 'cause it's small, I'm not going for the easy joke here. But because it's sad and ashamed of you.

Admit that I've got a friggin great dick! I mean, it's like...anatomy textbook example perfect.

[atlasrising]

Uhh don't talk about my dick. Please

Especially when you make it sound like a person Jack please stop

UHHHHHH no I'm not going to admit that because it was a dick all dicks probably look the same

Not sure why you want me to say that????? Uh??????

[thedifferencebetween]

Then make with my pops, puddin'.

...wow, I can tell just from that that you've never seen another dick before this. No, they don't all look alike. Some of them look awful. Or are laughably disproportionate. Hell, I went home with this one dude once, holy shit, it looked like a sick baby snake that needed a chiropractor. It bent.

Because perfect and amazing things deserve respect.

[atlasrising]

NO

OK THAT IS TOO MUCH PLEASE STOP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? TOO MUCH INFORMATION IS A THING

I'm not going to priaise your dick because it's A DICK it's not like some trophy it's literally a part of your anatomy I won't do it

So stop

[thedifferencebetween]

I AM TEACHING YOU IMPORTANT THINGS! NOT ALL DICKS ARE MADE EQUAL!

You can admit 'hey, nice dick, it's very proportionate and healthy!' without it being weird or meaning anything other than you can appreciate a fine anatomical specimen.

You know what you have to do to make me stop. Keep this up and I'm just gonna start texting you my sexual memoirs.

And trust me, kiddo, I got sexploits that'll take WEEKS to relay.

[atlasrising]

WHY DO IHAVE TO KNOW THIS
WHAT GOOD WILL THIS DO ME IN THE FUTURE

please don't answer that actually

Ok oh my god fine your dick looks very proportionate and healthy THERE are you happy?

No

You have fun texting me your adventures with your girlfriend because SPOILER ALERT your AI already told me everything I don't care

[thedifferencebetween]

I dunno, maybe the next time you see another dude's dick, you'll react like a sane person.

Oh, there's no way that elaborate pixel pet told you everything. I've been married twice, I've had more than one girlfriend, and that doesn't even cover the literal hundreds of flings and one night stands I've had.

You wanna hear about the contortionist twins, Rhys?

[atlasrising]

Maybe the next time someone say sthey don't want to get your junk food you're get up and get it like a sane person instead of sending dick pics because they don't get it fo ryou

Ok yeah it told me you were married twice I didn't know about yourg girlfriend and

WHAT HUNDREDS how are you not sick??? Seriously??????

Uhh no I don't but thanks.

[thedifferencebetween]

This way is way more fun.

For me.

It's called protection, Rhys, and not banging dirty people. And having access to a doctor that could just give me a shot and knock out ANY infection that might've been thinking of making itself at home in my pants.

I'm as clean as a virgin nun.

[atlasrising]

Yeah glad to hear I'm happy for you I'm 2 seconds away from blocking your number btw

GOOD well i'm glad to hear after having sex with like a thousand people you're not dying. Good. Glad.

Better you than me.

[thedifferencebetween]

Go right ahead, I know where you sleep.

That's a part of being very sexually active, taking care of yourself. I like sex. I like life. I'm careful to make sure I can continue to enjoy both. But it has been a crazy long time since I got laid...

Yeah, you just LIVE like a virgin nun.

[atlasrising]

Yeah so?

That's great ok good for you can we just change the subject please. Why do you like cake pops so much

WHO CARES maybe I do maybe I don't that's my business so

[thedifferencebetween]

You've obviously never had a cake pop, they're friggin delicious.

It's not a debate, kiddo, you do. I'd put good money on betting that the most action you've gotten on this planet is that time I strangled ya a little. And that wasn't even the fun, sexy kind of strangling.

Do yourself a favor, cupcake. Get yourself a girlfriend. I'm assuming that's what you're into, based on your reaction to any mention of dudes having sex or equipment for sex.

[atlasrising]

ok so why else do you like them

UM who cares? You shouldn't. Not any of your business.

And who I do or don't like is also none of your business


So

[thedifferencebetween]

Why does that need further expanding on? They're DELICIOUS.

Sure it is! As your friend, I may meet somebody and think 'wow, this person would be great for Rhys!'. I can't set ya up if I don't know what ya like.

Plus, you'd be way more chill if you were having regular sex, and I like you a lot better when you're chill.

[atlasrising]

Ok maybe so but
You are obsessed js

No it'/ not because I can find someone for myself thanks

Nobody here got my eye and I'' perfectly fine without getting laid but thank you for the concern. Can we please stop talking about this now
We should go drinking how does that sound

[thedifferencebetween]

I have a craving!

Ehhhhhh....that sounds like something not true. But yes. Yes, absolutely. We should one hundred percent add alcohol to this conversation, let's do it.

[atlasrising]

Well if we're going to continue this conversation with alcohol I don't want to drink anymore

This is ridiculous

[thedifferencebetween]

Your face is ridiculous.

C'mon, you know you love this.

[atlasrising]

Really???

Love what? Because I guarantee you're wrong.

[thedifferencebetween]

This! Us! Our banter. Me joshing ya!

[atlasrising]

So wait wait

How much of this has been you kidding me