TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

[11121_assumption]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

Loving stolen from bakerstreet. You know how this works.

If you don't here's the game; browse through the Texts form Last Night site and pick a couple. Post them as texts your character would send and people will respond! PROFIT!

Comments

[11121_assumption]

1: I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

2: yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho

3: I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.

4: Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way

5: Text him!

3

[purramedic]

You should pick one and let me know how it works out so I can make an informed decision for myself.

[beastofasister]

i.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, and mini-cupcakes.

ii.
Well, I've consulted some psychics, but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming.

iii.
You left a paper here that says "to do list," but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times.

iv.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad.

v.
[ Text her! ]

3

[thedifferencebetween]

...yeah. Yeah that sounds about right.

Also explains the taste in my mouth and why I can't get crappy sitcom theme song music outta my head.

1

[11121_assumption]

Why do you have those things?

[moneylogues]

1. extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry

2. dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me

3. i have no morals, kinda like you have no standards.

4. i take paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. you choose.

5. [ text him! ]

4

[11121_assumption]

I do not owe you payment for anything.

[secondhandsome]

1. I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.

2. As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.

3. So I just watched a seagull attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.

4. So unmotivated today.

Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.

5. [ text him! ]

2.

[a_sin_for_him]

In my defense, that explosion was supposed to be MUCH smaller and not actually DEMOLISH the bathroom of that tacky themed singles bar that moved in next to my gym.

Just make people think a ghost the blows things up lives there. It was a flawless plan.

[in4apounding]

1) As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.

2) We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Furretos in your bag just in case I got hungry

3) You have to do what you have to do. Like how I have to walk in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just have to.

4) I woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you yelling at Kricketots. Good night or bad night?

5) I have in my possession one Pokélele-shaped package.

6) Wildcard.

5

[purramedic]

And what is that, exactly?

[cyan_maid]

1: Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle...

2: I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

3: Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires!

4: I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.

5: [Text her!]

1!

[in4apounding]

I'm sorry! I woke up after a weird dream and then remembered that there were those Exeggutor-o waffles in the freezer with the chocolate chips in them and they just sounded too delicious to resist at 3am.

And then I might've dose back off while I was waiting for the toaster to finish, I'm not sure.

[shiro2hero]

1. I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely like always.

2. I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out from exhaustion and you had to come in and get me

3. Blame my PTSD and move on?

4. we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

2 because I'm horrible

[styxiedust]

[.........................]

I don't think you meant to send this to me, and I appreciate the consideration, but you don't have to worry about that. I've seen worse.

[better2do]

1: I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.

2: This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.

3: Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my Xatu as he devoured a single macaroni

4: I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.

5: [Text him!]

1

[11121_assumption]

I don't think I can be a 'Mom Friend'. Nor do I know any.

[agent3]

1: Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire

2: yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho

3: I have 35 pounds of P10 coins. Need any?

4: fallin asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person

5: [Text her!]

[brocrux]

1: Shut up. You had me at killer robots.

2: And I was all, "Fuck your joy. I just want more string cheese in my life."

3: Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

4: You narrated your Pokemons' thoughts for two and a half hours last night. I was enthralled. I didn't say one word. I just listened.

5: [ Text him. ]

4

[charcoalfeather]

Oh

Was it really that long?

[a_sin_for_him]

1 . There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

2. I screamed at him badly because I thought he was going for my chocolate, forgetting it was in my hand.

3. Can you believe it? He called me a stupid bitch. I'm a highly educated bitch!

4. WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THE LOAF OF BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE THEY LEFT???

5. I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF CHOCOLATE!

6.I madly want someone to kiss me and pet my hair and tell me I'm pretty and pay for all my drinks, why does that have to be so complicated?

[Or text her!]

6

[purramedic]

You poor dear. I don't think it's too much to ask!

[thedifferencebetween]

1. She makes me feel like im THAT guy in the Taylor Swift song.

2. Got stoned and went to Walmart once. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

3. I can't sleep. Send Llama pics and stories.

4. He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable.

5. It happened to me once. But i washed off in a decorative pond and walked home naked.

4

[moneylogues]

ugh, feelings

gross ಠ_ಠ

[atlasrising]

1. I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.

2. I said "one day" and that day is not today

3. STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE

4. I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?

3

[thedifferencebetween]

Then answer your friggin messages in a timely fashion.

Consequences, cupcake. They're a thing.

dear god thank you for this meme

[purramedic]

1. How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one of those.

2. But I don't know if I cried about life then banged her or banged her and then cried. Chicken or the egg?

3. Yes and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing.

4. She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe vomit off her face.

5. No, I don't need a babysitter, I have my cats. Cats can dial 911, you know.

6. [your text]

2.

[laughingstawke]

Both. You did both.

[brokencode]

1. I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.

2. I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

3. I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.

4. [Wild card]

3

[purramedic]

Mamanders to the rescue. Who am I immolating?

[laughingstawke]

1. Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
2. Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
3. I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
4. [Wild Card]

1

[purramedic]

I'm game.

[meteorman]

1. Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void

2. He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother

3. Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight

4. I once took a shot of lighter fluid... That's not a secret just a fucked up story

5. [Wildcard!]

4

[cyan_maid]

Mister Ford, did I really need to know this?

[harlequinhater]

1. as your friend, who loves and cares for you, i have to be honest. i am judging you so hard right now.

2. fuck you, and fuck your stupid hat.

3. i have in my possession one ukelele shaped package.

4. yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it, though.

5. this is a mass text. does anybody know where i am?

6. [wildcard!]

5

[cyan_maid]

Uh...no???
John, should I be worried?

[charcoalfeather]

1. Where are you and why are you fighting with a Pidgey?

2. as your friend, who loves and cares for you, i have to be honest. i am judging you so hard right now.

3. Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

4. I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.

5. I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my Dodrio. Can you come over?

6. [Text her!]

4

[styxiedust]

I'm not that old but I can serve as such anyway, what do you need?

[quadrangle]

1. I DON'T NEED INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES. IF I'M GOING TO BE MOTIVATED, IT WILL BE BY ANGER AND SPITE.

2. SELF CARE IS BREAKING INTO NASA AND LAUNCHING YOURSELF DIRECTLY INTO THE FUCKING VOID.

3. IT'S A RAINBOW OF FUCK YOU.

4. [Wild Card]

2

[cyan_maid]

I would actually prefer it be launching people I don't like into the void.