ohmyarceus | Test Drive Meme

There's a whole pile of things Emporio has seen over the years in this place, and while this isn't the weirdest he's seen, it's definitely a chaotic thing to see unfold in the store-front area of the Gym. It's a simple place, with simple offerings. Simple offerings that are, unfortunately, pretty flammable, so it only takes the teen a moment to really think about what he needs to do here.

So, setting his admittedly intimidating jacket and cap aside so that he just looks like some lanky young man in black and khaki, he gets a few poffins ready and heads for the bench.

He can handle the trainer later. Right now, there is a lizard who can burn his whole building down! So down he gets to his knees, poffin held out-

"Hello... ..hey. It's not really safe under there...but if you come out, I can probably find some good charcoal for you..."

The Charmander glances at Joseph again, lashing its tail like an angry cat, before darting over to Emporio. As soon as Rush takes the poffin, there's an immediate attitude shift, and he makes a happy little charrr noise before eating.

Joseph, having managed to pull his glove off and stomp it out, watches their interraction with what can only be described as quiet, jealous rage. That's cheating! If he had actual lizard treats on hand then he'd be able to control his new dumb pet!

"Excuse me, that's my lizard. You'd better not be planning to steal him." He's going to walk over and loom over Emporio - after all, being tall and terrifyingly muscular is usually enough to command respect from everyone he meets.

"There you are! Aw, you look pretty young huh..." Right, the charmander has his poffin, he's distracted, the tail is not near anything flammable...

And Emporio stands.

....Joseph is definitely taller, and physically larger than he is. If he's eyeballing it, he'd even wager it's around where Dr. Kujo stands. ...Actually, he kinda looks like the Doc, if he squints.

Which he does, because, huh.

"Huh..." That's distracting. Right, well, he'll just blink that thought away.

"I've got more than enough pokemon to worry about, trust me- but I also have to worry about the wooding building we're standing in. Also all the supplies for new trainers," he adds, tossing in an edge to the tone to carry a hint across. "...Your lizard isn't really a lizard though, you should probably know- this is a Charmander. They're more like dragons, actually! ...Though I guess at this age that's not really easy to catch..." Emporio mutters, and you know what, if the little guy gives him a look over that remark, fair enough.

"If he's yours, what set him off that badly though?"

Well.

Dragons are also lizards, he bites back, and just lets out a quiet grumbling noise. But... that is a solid point, he hadn't really thought about the flammable things around them, and the fact that Rush's tail is a serious hazard to everything around them.

(And Rush must not have realized it himself, or he would have used it to burn Joseph by now. For now he'll just make a mental note of it, and keep an eye on where the tail goes.)

"I don't know, he's the one that started it." Amazing how this full-grown man manages to sound like a petulant child being lecture. "As soon as that floozy in the house I woke up in handed him over, he bit me."

Could it perhaps be because Joseph grabbed him like a stuffed animal, because he has no idea how to handle animals? Of course not, it must be something else. Meanwhile, he's taken a step too close to Rush and the Charmander is moving to hide behind Emporio.

"Uh."

Uh.

First of all- "....'Mom' is..." He waves a hand. Look he can't be mean to 'Mom', she brought cookies over when the Gym opened! "...She's interesting? She does that to everyone, it isn't just you."

This is meant to be comforting, he swears.

Back to Rush, though. He won't make a move to get out of the way- not yet. Not when he's apparently become the 'shield' here. "...Your pokemon seems at least a little nervous about you though, so I can't imagine he didn't bite without a reason. I mean..."

He scratches his head. "...They're smart, but they are animals. Animals bite when they're scared. How were you handling him exactly?"

"I'm handling him like an animal, it's not that difficult."

He takes a step to one side, and when Rush backs up he quickly fakes out to the other side so he can grab the Charmander. He's fast for his size, but Rush is smaller and faster, and he dodges backward before Joseph's hands can close around him. Instead Joseph is rewarded with another burst of Ember aimed toward his face.

"See, look at that! He's just an asshole!"

Right, nope-!

With wide eyes, Emporio moves to more properly stay between the two after watching that. He gives an incredulous look to Joseph- the other doesn't seem cruel, or mean, after all, but with a move like that?

"...Or maybe you're handling him like you're the asshole- since when was charging any animal to grab them a good idea..!?"

Joseph straightens back up, looking Emporio up and down with an expression that clearly states I'm deciding how best to kick your ass. He probably won't follow through on it, but intimidation is the best weapon against most people. It gets you in far less trouble after all.

"Well how else am I supposed to get him? He won't come when he's called, and I don't have any food to lure him with... why don't you get him and hand him over, if you're so good with 'Charmanders'?"

He's definitely still scheming while this conversation happens... taking stock of everything in the room, seeing if anything could be used to trap the Charmander or to use as a leash. Maybe he should just pickpocket a poffin from the shorter man... because asking would be admitting that he's out of his element and he can't have that.

"The poffin was because he was already clearly scared- because I didn't have time to work on an actual bond," Emporio adds calmly.

The calm is only surface deep. Emporio hasn't been in any fights personally...but he's seen them, or at least, he saw them before coming to this place. There is a tension inside that coils at the look on Joseph's face, something that can't help but make him grateful Jotaro turned to him one day and said, very simply, 'I'm teaching you how to throw someone.'

He would like to not do that though.

Even if practicing on Jotaro makes him pretty confident he could pull it off if he had to.

"Listen- I only know as much as I do, because I've lived here as long as I have. But step one is...you can't be so forceful. You need to be a figure of comfort. Care. They're living beings, like anyone else. ...You probably wouldn't be keen on someone multiple times your size chasing you down either, I'm sure."

Joseph pauses, and lets out a slow and measured breath. Emporio is... actually right, and that's another solid point. Begrudgingly, he has to accept that, even if he doesn't have to like it.

"Fine. I guess you're right."

It takes some effort to redirect the angry momentum he had going - being gentle and friendly is less fun, and far less comfortable. But he does put some genuine effort into thinking about how Rush feels, having been carried around for an hour or two with his mouth clamped shut. Actually, he probably feels a lot like Joseph did during his Hamon training, with that stupid breath restricting mask on his face.

"I'm sorry for treating you roughly, Rush." It does not really sound like he means it, even if he does. "I promise not to grab your mouth again if you stop biting me."

Rush does not believe him, but does seem to be calming down a bit. At least he isn't actively in fight-or-flight mode anymore.

There's a small, encouraging smile- C'monnnnn it's not that bad is it?

And...well, it's not perfect, but after all Rush did just spend a few hours being hauled around with his mouth clamped shut. Emporio moves out of the way a bit though, just to help encourage the reconciliation.

"If he's not keen on being in a pokeball at least, he's probably fine walking on his own. As long as you have the ball, he shouldn't get lost- the two are paired after all."

With a bit of panic out of the way though, he is now staring at Joseph. Seriously, that resemblance is uncanny...

"...What's your name, anyway?"

...Ah.

"I'm Emporio," he adds as an afterthought.

"Really? Well, he sure wasn't walking with me before, but maybe he'll change his mind now that we're making friends."

This is pretty much how he makes friends, after all.

Joseph pauses, committing Emporio's name to memory. And now that he has an excuse to talk about his favorite topic (himself), he cheers up considerably.

"Joseph Joestar is my name. I come from a wealthy family back in England - you know where that is, right?"

Because the townsfolk here sure didn't seem to.

"It might take a bit, but I get the feeling it'll be easier to let him come to you in any case..."

That's how friends work probably, whatever.

"Oh- yeah of course I do. I mean I say 'of course', but I guess you haven't had a chance to get the run-down on 'falling from another world' and..."

Hold on a second, while the rest of his brain catches up to that name. Emporio pauses. Blinks.

Blinks again.

"............This is going to sound weird, but what year was it for you?"

That's an odd reaction. Joseph pauses, and for once his expression is somber and deeply pensive. It... actually makes him look quite a bit like his grandfather.

"1938, last I checked. There's all sorts of technology here I'm not accustomed to, but with the whole 'new world' thing I hadn't really considered if this was a different time. Although that does make sense."

It sounds like he's wandered away from the topic, but his gears are still turning and he's watching Emporio intently. After some more thought, an impish grin passes over his face.

"You're about to say 'You're Jonathan Joestar's grandson', right?"

"You're Jonathan Joestar's grands-"

hey wait

Emporio blinks. "...Yeah that was about it..." He's honestly too stunned to be shaken by the prediction, at least the way most would. "This could make things interesting..." the teen mutters further, albeit with a frown to the side. "...Would that make it weird if..."

Hmm, not thinking about that any further, nope.

"Uh, well anyway- 'new world' is only partly right. It's more like an 'adjacent' one- and anyone coming here, wakes up at Mom's, with a pokemon, a backpack, and some music playing."

A pause.

"...And that's about it, which is why I started this place up actually. Still... ...I wonder if I should show you the cottage up north then. Your grandparents used to stay there, but then it went to Hermana, who gave it to me for a while..." Crossing his arms as he mulls the matter over, Emporio eventually has to just shake his head. "Ugh. Later, maybe. The lake's a little far out to be thinking about that... ...Anyway, welcome to 'Johto', in their year 2025. It's..."

Hmm. "...It's kind of like Japan? A little at least."

That's all a lot to take in. Thankfully, Joseph has a lot of head-space for dedicating to ideas that might not make sense to him yet, but he can figure them out with enough chewing. He's in an alternate world, which seems fairly whimsical compared to what he'd call the 'real world', and he's also been transported nearly a hundred years into the future. And... wait...

"....My grandparents have been here?"

That thought takes over any other questions he might have had, like a stuck record playing the same few words on repeat. What does that mean, when did they come here, how long did they stay, why doesn't Granny Erina ever tell him things?

The young man's response is an immediate wince. Followed, of course, by a nod. "...People don't...remember this place, if, or when they leave. I know Mr. Joestar at least had technically died just before arriving, so I at least hope wherever he went it's at least somewhere but..."

But if Joseph's grandmother said nothing, it's not her fault. That, at least, is the point.

He wonders to himself, what else he can say though. What else he can do, really. What he can...

".........you know, technically you're a grandparent yourself."

Nailed it.

"WHAT?"

Screw everything else they were talking about, now he's stuck on this. Of course, it makes sense, if a hundred years have passed, and he and Suzi Q are definitely going to have kids, then he must have grandchildren. But if this kid knows about them, then-

"Do I have grandkids here? How many, what are their names, do they like me?"

The energy he's bringing is making Rush nervous again, but at least the Charmander has realized he's no longer the focus of the chaotic energy. Rush has started slowly creeping closer to Joseph, willing to at least sit between the two of them and turn his head back and forth as they talk.

Oh, good! That was the best thing to get the topic rolling, wasn't it? Emporio can't help but muffle a laugh at the rapid questions, even glancing down at Rush with what he hopes is an encouraging look. Don't worry buddy, it looks like your trainer is just really high energy.

Still, he nods. Nods again. And ehhh...

"Well, he hasn't mentioned you much... ...but that might be because he's older than you are right now," he adds with a snort behind the hand. "You have a grandson, and a great-granddaughter. Hermana- that is...Jolyne, she's the one who left me the cottage. Your grandson though..."

Oh, hm.

"...He might be in town? ...He was going to travel with a friend of mine for a while, but he did say something about wanting to take a look at my boat..."

Rush returns the look, a little encouraged and a little sceptical. But he's calmed down considerably, and settled down to watch the incomprehensible drama happening.

Joseph's eyes are wide, and he takes all the new information in with rapt attention. His grandson, who's older than him... by 2025 he would be over 100, so that makes sense. And a great-granddaughter, who is old enough to own a house, so she must be around his own age (unless she's also experiencing some sort of time dilation). Meeting them both has shot right to the top of Joseph's to-do list, especially if his grandson is in town.

"Wellll, aren't you helpful! Thank you, Emporio, I would be lost without you." He does mean it, even though his tone makes it sound less than genuine. "Oh, right - you wouldn't happen to have his PokeGear information would you? And Jolyne's, of course."

Of course he managed to figure out the concept of a PokeGear before he figured out how to handle his Pokemon. It's technology, which is much easier to blunder your way through, and hand-held telephones seem like a logical improvement over the existing landlines back home.

"Hahah! It's my job now, so I better be!" He does not miss the implied shenanigans that come with asking for numbers.

He also does not hesitate to pull his pokegear out so that he can trade said numbers. "Heh- of course! Hermana might be in the middle of a fight whenever you call her, but she'll answer if she can. That or a rotom will do it, so you might want to be careful about timing that...she is married..."

And rotoms lack all sense of privacy-

"But here's hers, and here's Dr. Kujo's- though if I spot him coming over, I can just give you a heads up so that you can find him in person. You figured these things out pretty quick though, huh?"

From the tone, he's not surprised because of any technological disadvantages being perceived- it's more, pokegear are Weird.

My great-granddaughter is married already. The thought gets filed away, to chew on later when he has time to really consider it. So does the fact that Dr. Kujo doesn't share his last name - neither does Jolyne for that matter. That stirs something in him, a mixture of disappointment and curiosity. So this is his daughter's son, most likely - he isn't sure why, but he feels distinctly bothered by the whole thing. Maybe just from the worry that his family name is dying out.

"Sure, it's just a pocket telephone. Sooner or later we were bound to figure out how to get rid of all those pesky wires - the telephone itself works with radio waves, so it just needs enough electricity to power itself. I assume nowadays, batteries must be much smaller and stronger than they used to be."

He does copy down their information, and he's pretty happy to have his first few contacts be family members. If he can manage to get along with them, that will make the transition to this new world much easier.

Hell yeah she is, and to a hot girl at that. Get Ready.

He looks up though. "I guess that's true. I always found the shape a little weird...they're not really made to fit a person's hand..."

And that's probably a good point, they are certainly...Shaped. Anyway.

"They do a lot more than just call people though, so have fun finding those features!" Emporio cheers. "Part of the battery in these is actually kinetic- the technology here is... ...Honestly it's amazing. It's way beyond what I think the world would've actually come up with by 2025; and it's a little easier to take a guess at that having come from 2012 initially," he laughs quietly. "But they have teleporters, most of the energy is solar... ...I mean, even the gym's yard would have been impossible anywhere else!"

He says that like it's impressive. Maybe it is???

Joseph's eyes widen with excitement, and he grins as he clicks through a few other apps on his PokeGear just to inspect it.

"Teleporters, and solar energy... Technology all seems to move so fast these days. Just within my grandmother's lifetime we went from horse-drawn carriages to automobiles and fighter jets, and I can only imagine how mush things will change within my lifetime- well, I guess I don't have to imagine now. Hmm... I wonder if that means I could power the batteries with Hamon."

He does try. And the Hamon energy just.. doesn't happen. He knows he's breathing right, but the more he tries the more naked he feels. It feels like something integral to him is missing, more sharply than his actual missing limb.

"...Well. That's disappointing." And shocking, and terrifying, but it's important to look cool and composed in front of other people.

"Hamon?"

Not a clue what that is, other than evidently sun related but- uh.

"...Oh. ...Is that like a Stand?" No wait fuck-

"Sorry, like a superpower? About twice a year we can get access to those kinds of things again but..." Emporio just shakes his head. "...Whatever doesn't quite fit with the laws of reality here, it doesn't make it through."

PETAL GYM OH MY GO DDD also shout out to roll of 19

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