Test Drive Meme - Spring 2025

[indigo_league]

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Joseph Joestar | Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (Part 2)

[prodigaltrickster]

[ooc: he has a permissions post here, which includes an opt-in for his deductive reasoning skills / pseudo mind reading (he's just really observant).]

i. New Bark Town

So, Charmanders. Normally they're pretty sweet when you first get them. Normally it takes until they evolve, or at least outlevel your abilities as a trainer, before they stop listening to you. Not the one Joseph was handed, though. He'd thought it was so cute, until it bit him and curled up for a nap right when he was trying to leave Mom's house to go exploring.

"Come on, Rush~! I'll give you a.... lizard treat... if you just work with me for a second-!"

The Charmander does not care. It opens one eye, and then closes it and pretends to be asleep. After a while, if no one intervenes Joseph is just going to grab it again and start exploring the city with Rush under his arm, one hand clamped over the Charmander's mouth so it can't bite him again. And it will definitely be trying to.

ii. Petal Gym

Rush is still being carried under his arm, although the Charmander has finally stopped struggling and just accepted that he's coming along. He won't stay in the Pokeball either, so neither of them are enjoying the process of adventuring together so far. Joseph has been wandering around in random directions, just taking in the sights and staring at every new Pokemon with that classic mixture of confusion and awe, until he finds his way over to the Petal Gym.

He's not sure what to make of it - it looks pretty unimpressive, especially to his wealthy tastes. He's been told about Gyms, although he's not sure if he fully understands the concept, but... 'petal'. This one must be easy, right? He's smart, maybe he could just kick their asses with Rush and have a shiny new badge to work with. Assuming he could get the dumb lizard to do what he wants.

And as if on cue, Rush manages to get his mouth free and breathes an Ember at him. Joseph manages to mostly block it with his prosthetic hand, but the glove he uses to mask it sets on fire and he drops the Charmander with an unceremonious thud and a whole lot of choice swears.

"God damn it, now I have to buy more gloves... you little bastard, get back here!"

Too late, Rush is scrambling away to hide under a bench and hiss at him reproachfully.

PETAL GYM OH MY GO DDD also shout out to roll of 19

[seacub]

There's a whole pile of things Emporio has seen over the years in this place, and while this isn't the weirdest he's seen, it's definitely a chaotic thing to see unfold in the store-front area of the Gym. It's a simple place, with simple offerings. Simple offerings that are, unfortunately, pretty flammable, so it only takes the teen a moment to really think about what he needs to do here.

So, setting his admittedly intimidating jacket and cap aside so that he just looks like some lanky young man in black and khaki, he gets a few poffins ready and heads for the bench.

He can handle the trainer later. Right now, there is a lizard who can burn his whole building down! So down he gets to his knees, poffin held out-

"Hello... ..hey. It's not really safe under there...but if you come out, I can probably find some good charcoal for you..."

[prodigaltrickster]

The Charmander glances at Joseph again, lashing its tail like an angry cat, before darting over to Emporio. As soon as Rush takes the poffin, there's an immediate attitude shift, and he makes a happy little charrr noise before eating.

Joseph, having managed to pull his glove off and stomp it out, watches their interraction with what can only be described as quiet, jealous rage. That's cheating! If he had actual lizard treats on hand then he'd be able to control his new dumb pet!

"Excuse me, that's my lizard. You'd better not be planning to steal him." He's going to walk over and loom over Emporio - after all, being tall and terrifyingly muscular is usually enough to command respect from everyone he meets.

[seacub]

"There you are! Aw, you look pretty young huh..." Right, the charmander has his poffin, he's distracted, the tail is not near anything flammable...

And Emporio stands.

....Joseph is definitely taller, and physically larger than he is. If he's eyeballing it, he'd even wager it's around where Dr. Kujo stands. ...Actually, he kinda looks like the Doc, if he squints.

Which he does, because, huh.

"Huh..." That's distracting. Right, well, he'll just blink that thought away.

"I've got more than enough pokemon to worry about, trust me- but I also have to worry about the wooding building we're standing in. Also all the supplies for new trainers," he adds, tossing in an edge to the tone to carry a hint across. "...Your lizard isn't really a lizard though, you should probably know- this is a Charmander. They're more like dragons, actually! ...Though I guess at this age that's not really easy to catch..." Emporio mutters, and you know what, if the little guy gives him a look over that remark, fair enough.

"If he's yours, what set him off that badly though?"

Well.

[prodigaltrickster]

Dragons are also lizards, he bites back, and just lets out a quiet grumbling noise. But... that is a solid point, he hadn't really thought about the flammable things around them, and the fact that Rush's tail is a serious hazard to everything around them.

(And Rush must not have realized it himself, or he would have used it to burn Joseph by now. For now he'll just make a mental note of it, and keep an eye on where the tail goes.)

"I don't know, he's the one that started it." Amazing how this full-grown man manages to sound like a petulant child being lecture. "As soon as that floozy in the house I woke up in handed him over, he bit me."

Could it perhaps be because Joseph grabbed him like a stuffed animal, because he has no idea how to handle animals? Of course not, it must be something else. Meanwhile, he's taken a step too close to Rush and the Charmander is moving to hide behind Emporio.

[seacub]

"Uh."

Uh.

First of all- "....'Mom' is..." He waves a hand. Look he can't be mean to 'Mom', she brought cookies over when the Gym opened! "...She's interesting? She does that to everyone, it isn't just you."

This is meant to be comforting, he swears.

Back to Rush, though. He won't make a move to get out of the way- not yet. Not when he's apparently become the 'shield' here. "...Your pokemon seems at least a little nervous about you though, so I can't imagine he didn't bite without a reason. I mean..."

He scratches his head. "...They're smart, but they are animals. Animals bite when they're scared. How were you handling him exactly?"

[prodigaltrickster]

"I'm handling him like an animal, it's not that difficult."

He takes a step to one side, and when Rush backs up he quickly fakes out to the other side so he can grab the Charmander. He's fast for his size, but Rush is smaller and faster, and he dodges backward before Joseph's hands can close around him. Instead Joseph is rewarded with another burst of Ember aimed toward his face.

"See, look at that! He's just an asshole!"

[seacub]

Right, nope-!

With wide eyes, Emporio moves to more properly stay between the two after watching that. He gives an incredulous look to Joseph- the other doesn't seem cruel, or mean, after all, but with a move like that?

"...Or maybe you're handling him like you're the asshole- since when was charging any animal to grab them a good idea..!?"

[prodigaltrickster]

Joseph straightens back up, looking Emporio up and down with an expression that clearly states I'm deciding how best to kick your ass. He probably won't follow through on it, but intimidation is the best weapon against most people. It gets you in far less trouble after all.

"Well how else am I supposed to get him? He won't come when he's called, and I don't have any food to lure him with... why don't you get him and hand him over, if you're so good with 'Charmanders'?"

He's definitely still scheming while this conversation happens... taking stock of everything in the room, seeing if anything could be used to trap the Charmander or to use as a leash. Maybe he should just pickpocket a poffin from the shorter man... because asking would be admitting that he's out of his element and he can't have that.

II Hello Gramps

[phdepression]

Jotaro travels a lot but he always makes a point to visit the Petal Gym to check on Emporio whenever he can and catch up. Jotaro is pretty calm as he walks out of said gym, his Crustle behind him chittering happily, as if Jotaro can understand him. It's been a relatively peaceful day so far...

Ah. And not anymore. The man frowns as he hears Joseph's loud yells. His eyes furrow as he sees the chaotic scene.

"Oy you, punk," Jotaro calls out, walking over. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

[prodigaltrickster]

This scene is happening for the second time today - because despite what he said in front of Emporio, Joseph was absolutely willing to grab Rush's mouth again as soon as the Charmander started disobeying him. And now he has no gloves, so he's greeting Jotaro with a wave from a clearly mechanical left hand.

"Training, obviously." He stands up properly, looking Jotaro over as he speaks. "As soon as I can get him to come when called I'll be out of here."

He's staring for a little longer than feels socially appropriate. After all, he's not used to other men being quite as tall or as well-built as him. He has a few questions on his mind, but he's waiting for slightly more information to trickle in before he risks sounding crazy. His Charmander, meanwhile, lets out another hiss at Joseph and crawls backward, further under the bench.

[phdepression]

Don't worry. Once he's there, Jotaro will be staring right back at him. While Joseph may only have a hunch of who Jotaro is, Jotaro will know exactly who this is. Even if he had never seen a photo of his grandfather when young, Jotaro would recognise him: Mechanical left hand? Same height as him? Idiotic look on his face? There's no mistaking...

"Good grief. Guess I can't really call you gramps now, can I?"

Without elaborating further to his teenage grandfather, Jotaro kneels down to the Charmander. He's not surprised the poor creature is skittish - animals don't seem to like his grandfather for some reason.

"Easy now... No need to be angry. You're okay..." He says gently to the Pokemon, trying to calm it down.

Next to him, Jotaro's Crustle waddles up and chirps a reassurance. Hey friend. It's okay. No need to hide... The bad man can't hurt you if they're here!

[prodigaltrickster]

That's it, that's all the confirmation he really needed. After all, he may not know Jotaro but he can see some of the family resemblance. It's hard to miss, especially when he knows to be on the look-out for it.

"No, I guess not. Maybe I should be calling you gramps."

The Charmander, who at this point seems to like everyone except for Joseph, carefully crawls back out from under the bench and sniffs Jotaro. He seems immediately more relaxed, maybe because he realizes there's no way for Joseph to snatch him back with an equally large man protecting him.

"Emporio mentioned you were older than me, I didn't realize you'd be this old - I guess Hamon stopped running in the family."

[phdepression]

Short of pulling down their shirts and showing off the Joestar birthmark, it's as good as they're going to get. Jotaro honestly resembles his grandfather more than he would like too - neither his mother or father have the height or the gains Joseph does.

Jotaro extends his hand for the Charmander and when it's a little more comfortable with him he reaches out to scratch it gently. As he does so, he frowns.

"...How old do you think I am?" Jotaro asks. It's a strange feeling, being older than your grandfather. He can't quite describe it but it's definitely bizarre weird.

The Crustle behind Jotaro begins to slink behind Joseph. Don't mind the walking hermit crab please. He's a bit of a prankster and Jotaro isn't watching...

[prodigaltrickster]

Jotaro should be proud of him, he manages to bite back his first instinct of just the largest number he can think of. Joseph puts some actual thought into it, mumbling aloud as he does.

"Well, let's see... I was born in 1920, I was going to turn 19 soon when I ended up here. So the earliest your father could have been born is probably 1939... And more than likely you were born around 1960... Well, maybe a little later so let's say you're around 55? Assuming there was no more time-traveling involved."

He's busy enough with this train of thought that while he sees the Crustle moving, he hasn't actually clocked what it's up to. He's too focused on watching Jotaro for a reaction, and trying to quell the jealous outrage of Rush trying to crawl into Jotaro's arms for attention.

[phdepression]

That's good logic. Unfortunately... Ouch. Somehow, this hurts more than just picking a really big number. Not that it shows on Jotaro's face...

"Good grief, Jiji. I'm only 41. ...Since you're so bad at guessing ages, I'd better tell you that your great-granddaughter, who's been here 5 years, is 25."

Jotaro can't see that Joseph is getting upset about Rush but he can guess it without turning around, knowing his grandfather. Jotaro readily accepts the Charmander and picks him up into his arms, stroking his back gently.

"There you go, you're alright."

The Crustle smirks behind Joseph and holds up one of his claws. Without warning, he gives Joseph a hard nip on the ass. Nothing too hard, just enough to make Joseph jump.

[prodigaltrickster]

"...What, did you have her when you were- FUCK!"

OUCH. Joseph does jump, kind of shockingly high, and turns around to aim a kick at the Crustle. He is doing his best to make it light, partly because he doesn't really want to commit to his leg being in pinching distance, but he's also become sharply aware of the fact that he can't feel his Hamon moving through him. And that's... going to be lodged in the back of his mind for a while, maybe until he tracks Emporio down to ask him about it. He has to look cool in front of his grandson (which he's definitely succeeding at).

"Holy fucking shit, why are you letting that stupid crab just wander around!?"

ii, ish!

[loopsiedaisy]

It's later in the day, by which time hopefully Rush and Joseph are getting along a little better...? Maybe?

Regardless, Loop's missed all the fuss - they've been out doing some cleanup work for Emporio on the gym arena. And now they're back, balancing a rake and shovel over their shoulder. (Their Metang is floating behind them, lugging some tools herself.)

Loop is also surrounded by an absolute swarm of itty bitty squeaking Skitties, courtesy of another New Bark Town resident. The kittens seem convinced that Loop will have food, and are bouncing along and generally getting underfoot while Loop determinedly trudges along. (Maybe they made the mistake of feeding one or two earlier?)

When the Skitties see Joseph and Rush, you can practically see their eyes light up with the thought of a potential new target. Loop just isn't being cooperative this time! The whirling swarm abandons them and charges at Joseph - think fast.

!! <3

[prodigaltrickster]

After getting lectured by one of the two people whose opinions he's willing to fully absorb (sorry Emporio), he has finally stopped grabbing his Charmander's mouth. And Rush in turn has stopped breathing fire at him, at least for now. Joseph has been pretending to look at things in the store front, just because Rush still won't follow or come when called, and Joseph doesn't really want to leave the gym without him.

"Oh, what now?"

What now is that there's a stampede of tiny pink kittens zeroing in on him. Joseph lets out an undignified yelp and hops up in the air, landing gracefully with his feet on the arms of a nearby chair. It's impressive for someone his size, but not enough to stop several of the Skitties from jumping up into the chair with him.

"God d- Rush, do something, please?"

Rush is definitely doing something. That something is moving far enough away that he can watch the drama in peace, curled into a lizard loaf.

[loopsiedaisy]

Loop notices the new person as all but a few Skitties abruptly abandon them. For a moment they're tempted to just let this happen - it means they get a break from the kitten swarm! But... Emporio probably wouldn't appreciate it if the mass of Skitties chases off a customer, or a challenger, or whoever this is.

They abandon the tools against a wall and wade back in.

"Hey, hey! Leave him alone, he doesn't have any food!"

The Skitties seem unconvinced, beeping joyously. One that made it to the chair jumps up to start clawing its way up Joseph's pant leg - Loop manages to snatch it out of the air before it makes contact, but misses a second one. They do grab a third, but then they're out of hands.

Orrery the Metang wants to help, but she's still stuck where Loop dropped off the rake and shovel, divesting herself of all the stuff she was carrying. Please hold.

[prodigaltrickster]

"Yeah, I don't have any food- hey!"

Joseph grabs one of the Skitties by the scruff, and they squeak in protest as he pulls them off his leg, and drops them onto the chair. He is trying to be careful with them - they're babies after all - but that just emboldens them to keep climbing up his legs with their tiny little claws.

"Why do you even have this many cats!? OW!"

That second one that Siffrin missed has gotten up far enough to dig their claws into the exposed skin on his midriff, and he doesn't manage to be careful with that one. He shoves them off hard enough that they fall to the floor, not seeming to take much fall damage from it but making Joseph wince.

[loopsiedaisy]

Loop also flinches when the Skitty hits the floor, watching it with concern until it bounces back to its feet, unbothered. They give Joseph a bit of a look, but... well, he clearly didn't mean to do it.

"They're not mine," they say, without further explanation. The two kittens they're holding get deposited to the floor, and Loop uses their freed hands to try and peel another kitten off Joseph's leg... which is easier said than done.

Fortunately, here comes Orrery to the rescue, finally! She hovers directly behind and above Joseph's head, looming over all the Skitties, and uses Scary Face.

The kittens poof up and scatter. They peek out from behind various shelves and other hiding spots, watching the two trainers and the Metang with wide, still-curious eyes. Loop releases the single last kitten they did manage to retrieve - it darts off and hides behind Rush.

[prodigaltrickster]

Joseph also flinches at the Scary Face, instinctively moving his hands up into a martial arts stance. But he lowers them a moment later, and tentatively hops back down to the floor.

"What the hell is that thing?"

He doesn't really sound afraid, more-so genuinely curious, and he raps his knuckles against Orrery's face as though she's a machine and not... a creature.

Rush, meanwhile, has sat up, just so he can sniff the Skitty that's hidden behind him. It looks like he's fully uninterested in any danger his owner might be stumbling into - although he is keeping an ear out, in case anything serious happens.

[loopsiedaisy]

It's almost impressive how quickly Joseph has edged into getting on Loop's nerves - they're a lot more defensive of their Pokemon than they realized, as it turns out! Nobody else has ever called Orrery a thing, so it's never come up.

"What, it's not easy to guess? She must be a kitten repellent~" Their tone sounds cheerful and joking enough, but they're definitely bristling a bit, behind it.

Orrery, on the other hand, doesn't seem too bothered. She waves Joseph a hello... and then reaches out to gently rap her knuckles against Joseph's face playfully. Or, well, the metal rim of her hand. No actual knuckle-analogue to be found.

Loop, seeing this, relents slightly. Orrery is one of the odder Pokemon out there, though not the oddest. (They've seen a trainer with a living ice cream cone, okay. And a ghost balloon!)

"She's a Pokemon like yours, not a thing. Her name's Orrery."

[prodigaltrickster]

Joseph flinches and rubs his face - a little melodramatic, since it didn't hurt that much, but he's curious if he can fool Orrery into thinking she hurt him for real. "Ow... well, they're animals, which are things."

It's always something new with these weird little creatures. He tips his head, inspecting her a little more and making a few mental notes. He's going to have to read through everything his PokeGear will tell him later - these creatures are so alien to him, he can't begin to categorize them on his own. He's making a few notes about Loop too, while he's at it - so far he can tell that they're not from his world (unless fashion gets crazy in the future), although he doesn't know enough about this world to know if they're a native.

"...Mine is Rush. He's a...." he snaps his fingers a few times, "...Charmander. And a real bastard."

Rush yawns, and settled back into a loaf.