NEW YEAR, NEW TFLN

[11121_assumption]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

1) Pick some texts from the site
2) Post in character
3) Reply to others
4) HAVE FUN

Comments

Jane Crocker | Homestuck

[cyan_maid]

1: WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?

2: Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party.

3: I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.

1

[harlequinhater]

those are just all of the hot new memes.
you obviously need to be caught up with the times, jane.

Asriel Dreemurr | Undertale

[better2do]

1: you know this is NOT how i pictured my life would be when i was younger and yet here we are

2: we need to borrow someone's rockruff just so we can non-creepily go to the department store and watch all the other dog pokemon take photos with santa

3: please tell me youre the one making all the weird noise in the yard...

2

[11121_assumption]

Do I have to go...?

[ A few moments pass, then- ]

I thought you had a dog-like pokemon?

Karkat Vantas | Homestuck

[quadrangle]

[Lovingly rendered in all caps for your enjoyment.]

1: VACUUM THE PLACE BEFORE YOU GO OUT OF TOWN THERE ARE RANDOM GLITTER COCKS EVERYWHERE

2: I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT

3: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME READ BAD FURRY SEXTS.

2.

[laughingstawke]

Kinky.

Posting that we're best friends riiiiight now.

1

[harlequinhater]

...do i even WANT to know where those came from?

3

[cyan_maid]

I NEEDED TO SHARE MY PAIN AND YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE HOME!
I AM SO SORRY!
REALLY!

Thida (OC) | Splatoon

[agent3]

1: glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory

2: i can count on 1 hand the number of good things that happened over the past year

3: just found 1000 pokedollars on the ground. hope ur lookin to feast tonight

1!

[notvaljean]

I know, right? I'm still picking glitter out of my ass crack

Envy | Fullmetal Alchemist

[exeggutorhead]

1. only i would get off to receiving death threats online

2. I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.

3. COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!

4. Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.

3

[a_sin_for_him]

....that's hardly helpful. Or terribly surprising. But there isn't just ONE junkyard.

[garbagechild]

1. shuld i apoligyz 2 him 4 saying i wanted 2 PUNCH him in the FAYSE as i was diging thru the trash??? ?????

2. and now i welcom the swet embrayse of deth

3. i dont need inspyrashonal kwotes! if iym going 2 b motivayted, it will b by angr and spyte.

4. u got to do what u got to do.... lyk how i got to go owt in the rain 2 get chiken nugets.......... i just GOT to..

3

[11121_assumption]

There's nothing wrong with that

[foolishwren]

1. I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.

2. My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"

3. Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with. I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword.

4. Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my Murkrow as she devoured a single macaroni

2

[11121_assumption]

If this is referring to Henry, I am not surprised.

Shiro the exhausted Space Dad | voltorbtron

[shiro2hero]

1: I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about about 4 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. What did you do.

2: My friends just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

3: I then proceeded to tell my date how good of a cook I was and put raw cookie dough in the bag of chips.

4: we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

1

[exeggutorhead]

okay look

nobody can prove I started that riot

Lust | FMA

[a_sin_for_him]

1. I screamed at him badly because I thought he was going for my chocolate, forgetting it was in my hand.

2. I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF CHOCOLATE!

3. Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

4. Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me.

5. Do you ever just want to roll naked in something very, very soft?

1

[exeggutorhead]

oh shit don't scare him off lust that's my job

you didn't get into henry's drugs did you?

Handsome Jack | Borderlands

[thedifferencebetween]

1. How drunk are u on a scale of 1 to couldn't get it up if u had a gun 2 ur head?

2. In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster kind of thing, I need this explained ASAP.

3. Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

4. I don't care. I can already tell she's the kind of girl that can make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.

5. I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

1

[purramedic]

Too drunk to see five feet in front of me but not drunk enough

What's a gun?

Walter Sullivan | Silent Hill 4

[11121_assumption]

1) What is all this water bottle flipping nonsense? What is lit?

2) I still hate everything and everyone around me. Christmas taught me nothing.

3) Okay so I've been talking to the Pokemon again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.

4) I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you

2

[purramedic]

I don't know what exactly "Christmas" is supposed to teach you, but how can you hate this face?
ฅ/ᐠ｡ᆽ｡ᐟ \∫

cat man | lizard era

[purramedic]

1. I'm still drunk and I'm feeding a Trubbish cereal from my room's window

2. Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it

3. You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and you're unsure if it was from wild sex or getting bitten by a Wingull.

4. It's all about finding the bright side. And breasts are definitely a bright side.

2

[11121_assumption]

Which cat are you feeding bourbon and why

[laughingstawke]

1. I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts

2. Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends

3. We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!

4.He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.

5. He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...

2

[purramedic]

I can't believe you're blaming that on alcohol. I've seen you do it sober at least twice.

[mustachioedmagister]

1. He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(

2. Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.

3. My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.

4. Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone? Asking for a friend of course

5. I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest


1

[11121_assumption]

Why have you texted me this.

What is ghosting.

Actually, I'm not sure I want to know.

[brokencode]

1. I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

2.: WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?

YOUTHS.

3.: Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-5016-in-effigy party

4.: Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.

5.: WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???

2

[11121_assumption]

I have no idea either. I would have asked you :(

I keep hearing people talk about 'lit' and not seeing any fire. It's very disappointing.

Felix | Red vs. Blue

[moneylogues]

1. i used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.

2. when i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. but youll never know.

3. there may or may not be knives in your bed. i would check.

4. i don't question myself. that's what i have you for.

2.

[mustachioedmagister]

I'm a fan of number two, if you ask me.

Korra | Legend of Korra

[bent_the_world]

1. I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.

2. I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

3. What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.

4. Sorry I filled your car with Froakies. I didn't think they'd get THAT mad...

3

[11121_assumption]

Signs of a concussion are headaches, dizziness, confusion, blacking out for short periods of time, delayed response time and nausea.

Also you texted the wrong number.

Jimmy Darling | AHS

[anexcitableboy]

1. Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your bandanas.

2. Can I fire a pidgey out of a t-shirt gun?

3. No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

4. Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with cola cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book!

1

[11121_assumption]

I don't think this was meant for me. What happened?

Armin Arlert | Attack On Titan

[schachmeister]

01. I just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about sharpedo week".


02. I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible adult please.


03. Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?


04. Did you just email me gay dinosaur erotica?

1

[shiro2hero]

What's Sharpedo week?

Minato Arisato | Persona 3

[arcanaeum]

1) She tossed me in the back of the car and said "God gave you the gift of life and I want to swallow it."

2) I don't need romance. I need cheese sticks.

3) No, I've been in Ilex Forest getting high and baking cookies with a Preschooler.